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02 January 2026

making out in a van

Learn English With Jokes
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Oliver and Chloe were making passionate love in Oliver's vanFOURGON when suddenly Chloe, who was a bit on the kinkyPERVERS side and had just read "Fifty Shades of Grey"ROMAN ÉROTIQUE CÉLÈBRE, yelled out: "Oh, big boy, whip meFOUETTE-MOI! Whip me!"

Oliver, not wanting to miss this unique opportunity, obviously didn’t have any whipsFOUETS to hand. But in a flash of inspiration, he opened the window, snapped the antennaANTENNE (DE VOITURE) off his vanFOURGON, and proceeded to whip Chloe until they both collapsed in sado-masochistic ecstasy.

About a week later, Chloe noticed that the marksMARQUES left by the whipping session were not healing and were starting to festerS'INFECTER a bit, so she went to the doctor.

The doctor took one look at the wounds and asked, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Chloe, a little too embarrassed to admit she had even had sex with Oliver, let alone allowed him to indulge her kinky desires, eventually admitted, "Yes, I did."

Nodding his head knowinglyCONSCIEMMENT, the doctor exclaimed:

"I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial diseaseJEU DE MOTS SUR "VENEREAL DISEASE" (MALADIE VÉNÉRIENNE) ET "AERIAL" (ANTENNE DE VOITURE) that I've ever seen."


Vocabulary
Kinky: involving unusual or unconventional sexual behaviour.
Fester: (of a wound) become septic or infected.
Knowingly: in a way that suggests one has secret knowledge.
She was feeling rather kinkyPERVERS that night.
The cut began to festerS'INFECTER after a few days.
He smiled knowinglyCONSCIEMMENT at her secret.
Grammar
Past continuous describes an ongoing action in the past, often interrupted by another action. Reported speech (indirect speech) conveys what someone said without quoting exact words.
Past continuous: They were making passionate love when she yelled.
Reported speech: She eventually admitted that she had got the marks having sex.
Past perfect: Chloe noticed that the marks had not been healing.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Kinky: perverted, unconventional
Fester: suppurate, become infected
Knowingly: wittingly, meaningfully
Mini Dialogue
Patient: Doctor, these marksMARQUES on my back are starting to festerS'INFECTER.
Doctor: Did you get them during sex?
Patient (embarrassed): Well… yes, I did. My boyfriend was a bit kinkyPERVERS.
Doctor (smiling knowinglyCONSCIEMMENT): Ah, classic case of van aerial disease!


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