ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Ten Doctor Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Ten Doctor Jokes B1–B2 · Doctor Jokes · Wordplay & Grammar ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. 1. After the operation Patient: “Doctor, doctor! Since the operation, I can’t feel my legs SENTIR MES JAMBES !” Doctor: “That’s because we’ve cut off COUPÉ your hands.” 2. A carrot Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I feel like a carrot.” Doctor: “Don’t get yourself in a stew UN ÉTAT D’AGITATION / UN RAGOÛT !” “Get yourself in a stew” means to become worried or upset. A stew is also a dish that can contain carrots. 3. A swallowed AVALÉ watch Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed AVALÉ a watch. What should I do?” Doctor: “Take these pills. They’ll help you pass the time PASSER LE TEMPS / FAIRE PASSER (L’OBJET) .” “Pass the ...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Seán, His Mom, His Pop Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Seán was 34 years old and still single CÉLIBATAIRE . One evening, his friend Ciarán asked, " How is it you're not married yet COMMENT SE FAIT-IL QUE TU NE SOIS PAS ENCORE MARIÉ ? ? Have you not found a woman who'd make a good wife FEMME / ÉPOUSE ?" Seán sighed SOUPIRA and said, " To be fair POUR ÊTRE HONNÊTE / FRANC , my friend, I've met lots of BEAUCOUP DE women I wanted to marry. But every time I bring one home to meet my parents, my mother can't stand SUPPORTER / PIFRER her." Ciarán thought for...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Confession & Lemons Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Man HOMME to his priest PRÊTRE : "Yesterday I had sex with a 17-year-old girl." Priest: " Squeeze PRESSER 17 lemons CITRONS and drink the juice all at once D'UN SEUL COUP ." Man: "And that will take away my sin PÉCHÉ ?" Priest: "No, but it will take away that stupid grin UN GRAND SOURIRE on your face." 📘 Key Vocabulary + priest PRÊTRE squeeze PRESSER ...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Bear & the Christian Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A man is walking MARCHANT through the woods BOIS / FORÊT when he sees a bear charging CHARGER / FONCER at him. He books it FUIT À TOUTE VITESSE (argot) , but he knows he can't outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE a bear for long, so he starts praying PRIER , "Dear Lord, I beseech thee "CHER SEIGNEUR, JE T'EN SUPPLIE" (archaïque) ." "Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks RENVERSE him down on the ground, then gets on its knees GENOUX and says, "Dear Lord, thank you fo...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The New Parrot Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A man buys a parrot PERROQUET and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and getting nasty MÉCHANT , so the man picks up the parrot and throws it into the freezer CONGÉLATEUR to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird screeching POUSSANT DES CRIS STRIDENTS for a few minutes, then total silence. He opens the freezer door and the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I'm sorry if I offended you, I humbly ask for your forgiveness PARDON | RÉMISSION ." The man says, "Well, that's okay. I forgive you....