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Two campers are walking through the forest when a huge
grizzly bear
OURS GRIZZLI
suddenly appears in a
clearing
CLAIRIÈRE
about 50 metres in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to move toward them.
The first camper drops his
backpack
SAC À DOS,
takes out a pair of
sneakers
BASKETS,
and
frantically
FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT
starts putting them on.
The second camper says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you
outrun
COURIR PLUS VITE QUE
that bear.”
“I don’t need to
outrun
COURIR PLUS VITE QUE
the bear,” the first camper says. “I just need to
outrun
COURIR PLUS VITE QUE
you.”
Vocabulary
Outrun: to run faster than someone or something.
Frantically: in a hurried, panicked, or desperate manner.
He tried to
outrun
COURIR PLUS VITE QUE
the danger.
She packed her bag
frantically
FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT
when the storm hit.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses the present continuous to create immediacy and describe ongoing action, then shifts to the present simple in dialogue for clarity and humour.
Present continuous: Two campers are walking through the forest.
Present simple: The first camper says, “I just need to outrun you.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Frantically: hurriedly, desperately.
Outrun: outpace, overtake.
Mini Dialogue
Emma: I ran
frantically
FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT
to catch the bus this morning!
Ben: Well, you can’t
outrun
COURIR PLUS VITE QUE
traffic, can you?
Emma: True, but I did
outrun
COURIR PLUS VITE QUE
the rain at least!
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A man finds an old brass lampLAMPE EN LAITON on the beach. It’s very sandy, so he picks it up and rubs itLA FROTTA.
Wouldn’t you know, it starts to emit a plumeVOLUTE of multicoloured smoke and a djinniDJINN appears.
The djinni says, “For freeing me from this lamp I offer you three wishes.”
The man cuts him offL’INTERROMPIT, “I know, I know, three wishes! My first wish is to have €200 billion, free and clear, in the bank.”
The djinni says, “It shall be as you wish, but you did not let me finish. In order to dissuade youTE DÉCOURAGER from making greedy and selfish wishes, whatever you wish for, your worst enemy will receive it twice over.”
“Oh, that’s just fine! Now that I am wealthy, I no longer have ill willRANCUNE toward my enemy. In fact, for my second wish, I wish that when I die, my enemy will get half my estate!”
“Well, that indeed is very generous. I’m so happy that such a kind and generous person found my lamp. What is your third wish?”
“My third wish comes out of a strong regretREGRET PROFOND and sorrowPEINE for my earlier life choices and treatment of others. As punishment, I wish to be beaten half to deathBATTU À DEMI MORT.”
Vocabulary
Djinni: a supernatural being from Middle Eastern mythology able to grant wishes.
Dissuade: to persuade someone not to do something.
The man cuts him offL’INTERROMPIT before he can finish.
The djinni tries to dissuade himLE DÉCOURAGER from being greedy.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events and direct speech, shifting to conditional and modal forms to express wishes and consequences.
Past simple: The man found and rubbed the lamp.
Conditional: The djinni says your enemy will receive twice over.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Wish: desire, request.
Ill will: hostility, resentment.
Mini Dialogue
Lucy: I dissuadedDÉCOURAGEAI Tom from buying that old car—it’s unsafe!
Tom: But I had already cut you offT’AVAIS INTERROMPUE before you could explain why.
Lucy: Then don’t blame me when the engine fails!
Tom (sighing): I have no ill willRANCUNE, but you were right again.
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A mother took her little boy to churchEMMENA SON PETIT GARÇON À L’ÉGLISE.
While in churchPENDANT LA MESSE, the little boy said,
“Mummy, I have to peeFAIRE PIPI.”
The mother said to the little boy,
“It’s not appropriateAPPROPRIÉ to say the word
‘pee’ in church. So, from now onDÉSORMAIS,
whenever you have to ‘pee’, just tell me that you have
to whisperCHUCHOTER.”
The following Sunday, the little boy
went to church with his fatherALLA À L’ÉGLISE AVEC SON PÈRE
and during the service said to him,
“Daddy, I have to whisper.”
The father looked at him and said,
“Okay, just whisper in my
earOREILLE.”
Vocabulary
To pee: to urinate (informal).
To whisper: to speak very softly.
The boy said he had to peeFAIRE PIPI.
He told his father he had to whisperCHUCHOTER.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple for narration and direct speech, with time markers to maintain narrative flow.
Past simple: A mother took her little boy to church.
Time expression:The following Sunday, the little boy went with his father.
Synonyms & Alternatives
To pee: wee, have a wee.
To whisper: murmur, speak softly.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: Excuse me, I need to whisperCHUCHOTER.
James: This isn’t the library—why are you whispering?
Oliver: Because saying I need to peeFAIRE PIPI sounds worse.
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After a lengthy trial, Bob is found guilty and sentenced to life in a medium security prisonPRISON DE SÉCURITÉ MOYENNE.
Arriving just in time for the daily lunch, Bob introduces himself to his fellow inmatesDÉTENUS as he waits in line for the meal.
Somebody yells out “56!”, and everyone around Bob starts laughing.
“143!” another inmateDÉTENU declares, and the laughter continues.
“What’s withQU’EST-CE QUI SE PASSE AVEC the numbers?” Bob asks.
“Those are jokes,” replies inmateDÉTENU Tom. “All of us have been here so long we memorisedAVONS MÉMORISÉ every joke, so each joke is represented by a number.”
Bob, wanting to fit inS’INTÉGRER, yells out “three thousand, three hundred and thirty-three!”
After a moment of silence, the prison erupts in guffawsÉCLATS DE RIRE. Tom slaps him on the back and says, “Good one! We haven’t heard that one before!”
Vocabulary
Inmates: people who are in prison.
Guffaws: loud, unrestrained laughter.
Bob introduces himself to his fellow inmatesDÉTENUS.
The prison erupts in guffawsÉCLATS DE RIRE.
Grammar
The joke uses past simple for main narration and present perfect for experiences up to a point in the past, with reported speech introduced by "replies".
Past simple: Bob yells out “three thousand, three hundred and thirty-three!”
Present perfect: We haven’t heard that one before.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Inmates: prisoners, convicts.
Memorised: learnt by heart, committed to memory.
Guffaws: belly laughs, roars of laughter.
Fit in: blend in, integrate.
Mini Dialogue
Alice: Why is everyone shouting random numbersDES NOMBRES AU HASARD in the library?
Ben: We’ve all memorisedAVONS MÉMORISÉ the book of riddles, so we just call out the number!
Alice: Brilliant! Let me try… “One hundred and forty-seven!”
Ben (laughing): Excellent! We hadn’t heard that one before!
