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Learn English With Jokes • One-Liners To Make You Laugh

One-Liners To Make You Laugh ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes One-Liners To Make You Laugh Intermediate · One-Liner Collection · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. “I'm not offended OFFENSÉE | VEXÉE by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb BÊTE | STUPIDE ... and I also know that I'm not blonde.” — Dolly Parton “Every time I go to confession the priest tells me to stop masturbating SE MASTURBER . And I always tell him, ‘ Hold on ATTENDEZ | UNE SECONDE | PATIENTEZ , I'm almost done PRESQUE FINI | J'AI PRESQUE TERMINÉ .’” — Zach Ford “What does armed to the teeth ARMÉ JUSQU'AUX DENTS mean? Isn't that just braces APPAREIL DENTA...
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Learn English With Jokes • Betting on Betty-Sue

Betting on Betty-Sue ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Betting on Betty-Sue Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Perfect ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and whacks him LE FRAPPE | LE COGNE on the head with a frying pan POÊLE À FRIRE . " Ouch AÏE ! What was that for?" he asks. She says, "I found a slip of paper MORCEAU DE PAPIER in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it." "Jesus, honey, remember on Saturday when I went to the track HIPPODROME ? Betty Sue was the name of the horse I bet PARIER | MISER SUR on." She shrugs HAUSSE LES ÉPAULES and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when s...
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Learn English With Jokes • Three Death Sentences

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Three Death Sentences Intermediate · Past Simple · Future Tense ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Mosotho HABITANT DU LESOTHO , were sentenced CONDAMNÉS to death. Their captors GEÔLIERS told them that they had the right to have a final meal REPAS before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted. "Give me some good French wine and a traditional French stick BAGUETTE DE PAIN ," he said. So they gave them to him, and he ate. Then they executed him. Next it was the Italian's turn TOUR . "Give me a big plate of pasta," said the Italian. So they brought it to him, ...
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Learn English With Jokes • Seeing A Friend Off

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Seeing A Friend Off Intermediate · Past Simple · Past Modal (wish) ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Three drunks IVROGNES arrived at the railway station moments before the train was due to depart. Seeing their incapacity INCAPACITÉ , the kind station-master assisted to bundle them LES EMBARQUER SANS MÉNAGEMENT into the carriage. He managed to A RÉUSSI À get two of them aboard just in time, before the train pulled out SORTIR DE | QUITTER LA GARE . He turned apologetically D'UN AIR CONTRIT to the one left behind. "I'm sorry, old chap MON VIEUX ," he said. "I wish I could have got you on the train as well....
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Learn English With Jokes • Bobby at the Football Match

Learn English With Jokes • Bobby at the Football Match ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Bobby at the Football Match Intermediate · Past Perfect · Past Modal (should have) ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. By the time D'ICI QUE / AU MOMENT OÙ Bobby arrived, the football game had already DÉJÀ started. "Why are you so late?" asked his friend. "I couldn't decide between going to church and coming to the football match. So I tossed a coin TIRER À PILE OU FACE / LANCER UNE PIÈCE ," said Bobby. "But that shouldn't have CELA N'AURAIT PAS DÛ taken too long," said the friend. "Well, I had to toss it 32 times." 📘 Key Vocabulary ...
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Learn English With Jokes • A Light Bulb & The Factory Workers

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Ret's ESL Jokes Intermediate · Present Simple · Direct Speech ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Two factory workers OUVRIERS D'USINE are talking. The woman says, "I can get the boss to give me the day off JOUR DE CONGÉ ." The man replies, " Oh yeah AH OUI / VRAIMENT ? How?" "Just wait and see," she says. She then hangs herself upside down LA TÊTE EN BAS from the ceiling. The boss walks in and asks, " What on earth MAIS QU'EST-CE QUE are you doing?" "I'm a light bulb AMPOULE ," she replies. The boss shakes his head SECOUE LA TÊTE . "You...
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