Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
A man got a flat tyreA CREVÉ SON PNEU on a deserted country road. He pulled overIL S’EST GARÉ and started changing itLE CHANGEAIT.
Suddenly, another car screeched to a haltS’EST ARRÊTÉE PILE in front of him. The driver jumped out, grabbedA SAISI a 5-kg sledgehammerMASSE, and began smashing the windscreenÀ DÉFONCER LE PARE-BRISE.
The man with the flat tyre yelledA HURLÉ, “Are you insaneTU ES FOU?! What are you doing?!”
The stranger swung againA FRAPPÉ DE NOUVEAU and said, “Relax. If you’re taking the wheelsTU PRENDS LES ROUES, I’ll take the stereoJE PRENDRAI L’AUTORADIO.”
Vocabulary
Sledgehammer: a large, heavy hammer with a long handle used for powerful blows.
Screech to a halt: to stop suddenly with a loud, high-pitched braking sound.
The driver grabbedA SAISI a sledgehammerMASSE and started smashing.
Another car screeched to a haltS’EST ARRÊTÉE PILE in front of him.
Grammar
The joke primarily uses the past simple for completed narrative actions and the present continuous in a conditional clause to describe an assumed ongoing action.
Past simple: A man got a flat tyre… He pulled over and started changing it.
Present continuous in conditional: If you’re taking the wheels, I’ll take the stereo.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Sledgehammer: heavy hammer, demolition hammer.
Screeched to a halt: braked sharply, slammed to a stop.
Mini Dialogue
Emma: Why did you grabSAISIR that huge tool?
Liam: If you’re taking the best partsTU PRENDS LES MEILLEURES PIÈCES, I’ll take the engine!
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A husband and wife were sitting together on the couchCANAPÉ, quietly sippingSIROTAIENT wine while watching a film. The room was calm, and the soft glowDOUCE LUEUR of the television lit up their facesILLUMINA LEURS VISAGES.
After a few moments, the wife leans in slightlySE PENCHA LÉGÈREMENT and whispersMURMURA, “I love you.”
The husband turned to her with a faint smileUN FAIBLE SOURIRE and asked, “Is that you talking, or is it the wine?”
Without missing a beatSANS HÉSITER, she replied, “It’s me — talking to the wine.”
Vocabulary
Faint smile: a slight, subtle smile.
Without missing a beat: immediately, without hesitation.
He answered with a faint smileUN FAIBLE SOURIRE.
Without missing a beatSANS HÉSITER, she corrected him.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past continuous for background description and past simple for completed actions and dialogue.
Past continuous: They were sitting on the couch and were sipping wine.
Past simple: She whispered, and he asked a question.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Faint smile: slight smile, subtle grin.
Whisper: murmur, speak softly.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: I was revising quietly when you leaned in slightlyTE PENCHAS LÉGÈREMENT and distracted me.
Amelia: I only whisperedMURMURAI your name.
Oliver: You said it with a faint smileUN FAIBLE SOURIRE.
Amelia: And without missing a beatSANS HÉSITER, you lost your focus!
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An aeroplane got a message on the PA systemSYSTÈME DE SONORISATION PUBLIC: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 869, from New York to San Francisco.
The weather ahead is good, and we shouldNOUS DEVRIONS have a smoothSANS HEURTS and uneventfulSANS INCIDENT flight.
Now sit back and relax… Oh sh*t!MERDE ALORS !”
Silence followed, and after a few minutes the captain came back on the PA systemSYSTÈME DE SONORISATION PUBLIC and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scaredAI EFFRAYÉ you earlierTOUT À L’HEURE; but while I was talking, the flight attendantAGENT DE BORDbroughtM’A APPORTÉ me a cup of coffee and spilledA RENVERSÉ the hot coffee in my lapGIRON. You shouldVOUS DEVRIEZ see the front of my trousersPANTALON!”
A passenger in Economy said, “That’s nothing. He shouldIL DEVRAIT see the back of mineDU MIEN!”
Vocabulary
Spill: to cause or allow (liquid) to flow over the edge of a container accidentally.
Lap: the front part of the body from the waist to the knees when sitting.
The flight attendant spilledA RENversÉ hot coffee in the captain’s lapGIRON.
You should see the front of my trousers after the spill!
Grammar
The joke uses present simple for announcements, past simple for narration, and modal “should” for suggestions/advice. Indirect speech and conditional-like structures appear in reported apologies and passenger remarks.
Past simple: The flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled it.
Modal should (advice):You should see the front of my trousers!
Reported speech: He said he was sorry if he scared us earlier.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Spill: pour out, splash, tip over.
Lap: knees, upper thighs (when seated).
Uneventful: calm, without incident, routine.
Flight attendant: cabin crew, stewardess (older term), air hostess.
Mini Dialogue
Sarah: I was carrying the soup and spilledAI RENversÉ some on my new dress!
Tom: Oh no! You shouldTU DEVrais see the stain on the front!
Sarah: That’s nothing. You shouldTU DEVrais see the back of mineDU MIEN after I sat down!
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German stood togetherSE TENAIENT ENSEMBLE, watching an American street performer juggleJONGLER.
The performer noticedREMARQUA that the four men did not have a very good view, so he climbedIL GRIMPA onto a wooden crateUNE CAISSE EN BOIS and called outLANÇA, “Can you all see me now?”
“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”
Vocabulary
Juggle: to keep several objects in the air by throwing and catching them.
Notice: to become aware of something or someone.
The performer noticedREMARQUA the poor view.
He climbedGRIMPA onto a crate to juggle better.
Grammar
The joke uses past simple for the main narrative sequence of completed actions in storytelling, with present simple in direct speech questions and responses.
Past simple: The performer noticed and climbed onto a crate.
Direct speech / present simple in questions: “Can you all see me now?” (timeless ability question).
Synonyms & Alternatives
Notice: observe, spot, see.
Climb: ascend, mount, get up.
Mini Dialogue
Anna: I noticedAI REMARQUÉ the painting on the wall looks crooked!
Ben: You’re right. I’ll climbGRIMPER the ladder to straighten it.
Anna: Can you juggleJONGLER while you’re up there?
