A woman and her lover are in bed when she suddenly hears her husband’s car
pulling into the garageQUI ENTRE DANS LE GARAGE.
The unfaithfulINFIDĂLE wife panics.
“Quick! Hide!” she hissesSIFFLA-T-ELLE.
The lover, completely nakedNU,
dashes into the bathroomSE PRĂCIPITE DANS LA SALLE DE BAINS
while she frantically shoves his clothesFOURRA SES VĂTEMENTS under the bed.
Just in time. The husband, not having seen his wife anywhere else in the house, walks into the bedroom and asks:
“And what exactly are you doing
lying here nakedALLONGĂE ICI TOUTE NUE on the bed?”
“Darling,” she says sweetly, “I heard your car and thought I’d give you a surprise.”
“Yeah, brilliant,” he replies. “I’ll just
pop to the bathroomPASSER PAR LA SALLE DE BAINS
and be right back.”
Before she can stop him, the husband steps into the bathroom and finds the lover standing there
stark nakedCOMPLĂTEMENT NU, arms in the air, clapping his hands.
“What on earthBON SANG are you doing here?” demands the husband.
“I’m from the pest control company,” the lover answers calmly. “Your wife
called us inNOUS A FAITS VENIR
to deal with a moth problemUN PROBLĂME DE MITES in the house.”
“But… you haven’t got any clothes on!” says the husband, incredulous.
The lover looks down at himself, pretends to be shocked, and says:
“Oh, those filthyIMMONDES little things!”
Vocabulary
To dash into (a place): to run quickly or rush suddenly into somewhere.
Stark naked: completely naked, not wearing any clothes at all.
The lover dashes into the bathroomSE PRĂCIPITE DANS LA SALLE DE BAINS when he hears the husband.
The husband finds him stark nakedCOMPLĂTEMENT NU and clapping his hands.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate the sequence of events, with present simple in direct speech and a present participle for ongoing action.
Past simple narration: The lover dashed into the bathroom; the husband walked into the bedroom.
Direct speech in the present: “What on earth are you doing here?” uses present continuous to describe an action in progress.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Filthy: dirty, disgusting.
To call someone in: to summon, to bring in (for professional help).
Mini Dialogue
Emma: I called the electrician inAI FAIT VENIR L’ĂLECTRICIEN to deal with the wiring.
Josh: What on earth are you doing lyingEN TRAIN DE T’ALLONGER on the kitchen floor?
Emma: I nearly slipped; I just dashed into the bathroomME SUIS PRĂCIPITĂE DANS LA SALLE DE BAINS to clean my hands.
Josh: Look at these filthyIMMONDES tiles, we really need someone to help.
A man got a flat tyreA CREVĂ SON PNEU on a deserted country road. He pulled overIL S’EST GARĂ and started changing itLE CHANGEAIT.
Suddenly, another car screeched to a haltS’EST ARRĂTĂE PILE in front of him. The driver jumped out, grabbedA SAISI a 5-kg sledgehammerMASSE, and began smashing the windscreenĂ DĂFONCER LE PARE-BRISE.
The man with the flat tyre yelledA HURLĂ, “Are you insaneTU ES FOU?! What are you doing?!”
The stranger swung againA FRAPPĂ DE NOUVEAU and said, “Relax. If you’re taking the wheelsTU PRENDS LES ROUES, I’ll take the stereoJE PRENDRAI L’AUTORADIO.”
Vocabulary
Sledgehammer: a large, heavy hammer with a long handle used for powerful blows.
Screech to a halt: to stop suddenly with a loud, high-pitched braking sound.
The driver grabbedA SAISI a sledgehammerMASSE and started smashing.
Another car screeched to a haltS’EST ARRĂTĂE PILE in front of him.
Grammar
The joke primarily uses the past simple for completed narrative actions and the present continuous in a conditional clause to describe an assumed ongoing action.
Past simple: A man got a flat tyre… He pulled over and started changing it.
Present continuous in conditional: If you’re taking the wheels, I’ll take the stereo.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Sledgehammer: heavy hammer, demolition hammer.
Screeched to a halt: braked sharply, slammed to a stop.
Mini Dialogue
Emma: Why did you grabSAISIR that huge tool?
Liam: If you’re taking the best partsTU PRENDS LES MEILLEURES PIĂCES, I’ll take the engine!
A husband and wife were sitting together on the couchCANAPĂ, quietly sippingSIROTAIENT wine while watching a film. The room was calm, and the soft glowDOUCE LUEUR of the television lit up their facesILLUMINA LEURS VISAGES.
After a few moments, the wife leans in slightlySE PENCHA LĂGĂREMENT and whispersMURMURA, “I love you.”
The husband turned to her with a faint smileUN FAIBLE SOURIRE and asked, “Is that you talking, or is it the wine?”
Without missing a beatSANS HĂSITER, she replied, “It’s me — talking to the wine.”
Vocabulary
Faint smile: a slight, subtle smile.
Without missing a beat: immediately, without hesitation.
He answered with a faint smileUN FAIBLE SOURIRE.
Without missing a beatSANS HĂSITER, she corrected him.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past continuous for background description and past simple for completed actions and dialogue.
Past continuous: They were sitting on the couch and were sipping wine.
Past simple: She whispered, and he asked a question.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Faint smile: slight smile, subtle grin.
Whisper: murmur, speak softly.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: I was revising quietly when you leaned in slightlyTE PENCHAS LĂGĂREMENT and distracted me.
Amelia: I only whisperedMURMURAI your name.
Oliver: You said it with a faint smileUN FAIBLE SOURIRE.
Amelia: And without missing a beatSANS HĂSITER, you lost your focus!
