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Art Collector & Attorney

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Art Collector & Attorney Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. An attorney AVOCAT / REPRÉSENTANT LÉGAL named Johan telephoned and requested to speak with his client, a wealthy TRÈS RICHE art collector. “Pieter,” he said, “I have some good news and some bad news.” The collector sighed A SOUPIRÉ (EXPRIMANT LA DÉCEPTION) . “Johan, I’ve had a truly rotten day TRÈS MAUVAISE JOURNÉE . Please, let’s hear the good news first.” “Well,” the lawyer AVOCAT said, “I met with your wife today. She informed me that she invested only €5,000 in two remarkable pictures—ones she believes could fetch SE...
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Learn English With Jokes ✦ Vietnam War Stakeout

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Vietnam War Stakeout Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. During the Vietnam War GUERRE DU VIETNAM , a Black man, an Asian man, and a white man are on a stakeout FILATURE / POSTE D'OBSERVATION in the jungle JUNGLE , far from their base BASE . They receive a call from command COMMANDEMENT saying that it’s time to resupply SE RAVITAILLER . The white man says to the others, “Alright, I’m going to go pick up some food NOURRITURE . Black guy, you go get the ammunition MUNITIONS , and Asian guy, you go get the other supplies RÉSERVES / FOURNITURES . We’ll meet back here in three hours.” They p...
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Learn English With Jokes ✦ Mostly Absurd

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Mostly Absurd Intermediate · Mostly Absurd · Puns & Wordplay ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Did you hear about the Italian chef CUISINIER who died? Yeah... he pasta-way JEU DE MOTS: "passed away" (décédé) → "pasta-way" (pâtes) . Two friends are robbing DÉVALISANT a liquor store MAGASIN D'ALCOOL , and as they are clearing the shelves VIDANT LES RAYONS , the first one asks: "is this whiskey WHISKY ?" His friend replies: "Sure, but not as wisky JEU DE MOTS : « whisky (-> risky) » prononcé avec un zozotement as wobbing a bank JEU DE MOTS : « robbing a bank » prononcé avec ...
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Learn English With Jokes ✦ Trumpelstiltskin

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Trump One-Liners Intermediate · One-Liner Collection · Political Humour ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. The problem with Trump jokes BLAGUES is that Republicans don’t think they’re funny DRÔLE , and Democrats don’t think they’re jokes. What does the Trump administration use instead of AU LIEU DE | PLUTÔT QUE emails COURRIELS ? Alternative fax FAX ALTERNATIF (JEU DE MOTS AVEC "ALTERNATIVE FACTS") . People keep grouping all Trump supporters with these movements recently, which I disagree with JE NE SUIS PAS D'ACCORD , and think is quite silly. After all APRÈS TOUT , the Russians ...
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Learn English With Jokes ✦ Confession & Lemons

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Confession & Lemons Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Man HOMME to his priest PRÊTRE : "Yesterday I had sex with a 17-year-old girl." Priest: " Squeeze PRESSER 17 lemons CITRONS and drink the juice all at once D'UN SEUL COUP ." Man: "And that will take away my sin PÉCHÉ ?" Priest: "No, but it will take away that stupid grin UN GRAND SOURIRE on your face." 📘 Key Vocabulary + priest PRÊTRE squeeze PRESSER ...
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