ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Making Friends Outside Facebook ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Making Friends Outside Facebook Intermediate · Everyday English · Phrasal Verbs ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles TOUT EN APPLIQUANT LES MÊMES PRINCIPES . Therefore PAR CONSÉQUENT , every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by LES PASSANTS what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I did the night before, what I will do later and with whom AVEC QUI . I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart EN DÉMONTANT DES OBJETS in the garage, watering the lawn EN ARROSANT LA PELOUSE , standing in front of landmarks DES LIEUX OU MONUMENTS EMBLÉMATIQUES , driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every da...

Learn English With Jokes • A Second Opinion ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes A Second Opinion B1–B2 · Medical Vocabulary · Dark Humour ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A week after arriving back home DE RETOUR CHEZ LUI in the United States, a man wakes up one morning and finds bright green and purple spots DES TACHES D’UN VERT VIF ET VIOLETTES on his penis. He is horrified HORRIFIÉ and immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor has never seen anything like this before. He orders some tests PRESCRIT DES ANALYSES and asks the man to come back in two days for the results. Two days later, the doctor says, “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’ve contracted CONTRACTÉ a disease called Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of INCONNUE here in the United States. We know very little about it.” The man looks confused. “Can’t you give me a shot...

Learn English With Jokes • Two Planets Learn with a joke, then do a quick quiz. ☀ / ☾ theme Two Planets Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. During my check-up BILAN DE SANTÉ I asked the Physician MÉDECIN , "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?" He replied, "I kind of doubt it J'EN DOUTE UN PEU . You see, Mercury is in Uranus MERCURE EST DANS URANUS (JEU DE MOTS : "URANUS" SONNE COMME "YOUR ANUS") right now." I said, "I don't go in for JE NE M'INTÉRESSE PAS À any of that astrology ASTROLOGIE nonsense." He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer THERMOMÈTRE just broke." ...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Pope's Chauffeur Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. One day, the Pope PAPE is visiting America and is being driven around Washington DC in his limo LIMOUSINE when he gets an idea. " Driver CHAUFFEUR ," he says, "can I drive for a while UN PETIT MOMENT ?" "Of course," says the driver. [How can you say 'no' to the Pope?] So the Pope starts driving like a maniac FOU / DÉLIRANT all over town, going in and out of traffic, doing CONDUISANT À (on dit "doing + vitesse") 110 km/h. Soon a cop pulls him over L'ARR...