Tuesday, 15 May 2018

a 17-year-old girl

Man to his priest: “Yesterday I had sex with a 17-year-old girl.”

Priest: “Squeeze 17 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”

Man: “And that will take away my sin?”

Priest: “No, but it will take away that stupid grin on your face.”

The reason there is no "s" in "17-year-old" is this: it is an adjective that qualifies the noun "girl". Adjectives in English are almost never plural. Consider the following sentences:

+ They have bought a big house in Lesotho.
+ They have bought three big houses in Lesotho. (No "s" on the adjective "big")
+ He's a 6-year-old boy.
+ They're 6-year-old boys. (No "s" on the adjective "6-year-old")

Watch the following video.

Read this short explanation if you still don't understand: https://goo.gl/CEWfRd

Do this exercise.

Saturday, 12 May 2018

was doing

A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.'

But instead I said: 'You old hag, you've completely ruined my life!'.”

Your in-laws are the family of your spouse. Individually, though, they could be your:

Who What

the brother of your spouse, or the husband of your sibling
the father of your spouse
the sister of your spouse, or the wife of your sibling
the wife of your child
the husband of your child

the wife of your husband's brother
the husband of your wife's sister

The speaker in the joke above says (s)he was having dinner. This is what I call the alibi tense because it's the tense you would use if the police wanted to know where you were when a crime was committed. Some refer to it as the interrupted tense because we use it to show that another action happened during it. In other words, it is an action that continued before and after another action.

Watch the following video.

Then do the following exercises from ego4u.com: exercises

animal sounds

There were two cows in a field. One said: "Moo!" The other one said: "I was going to say that!"

In your language, what does a cow say? Here are a few more animal sounds in English:

Sound Animal Link

You can find more sounds at this page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animal_sounds

Watch the following video.

Then do this exercise from myenglishpages.com: exercise

Friday, 11 May 2018


Two campers are walking through the forest when a huge grizzly bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 metres in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to move toward them.

The first guy drops his backpack, takes out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.

The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’

‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’

The prefix "out-", as in "outrun" above, means "more than, or better than". That's why to outrun someone is to run faster than them. Here are other examples of the prefix in action:
  1. to outgrow is to grow bigger than something. (Our kids have already outgrown their old clothes)
  2. to outsmart is to get an advantage over someone by doing something clever or by tricking them. (He thought he could outsmart the whole world but the cops got him eventually)
  3. to outshine someone is to be much more talented and successful than they are. (She was able to outshine all the other students in the class)
  4. to outperform is to perform better than something or better than someone. (A Tesla automobile can easily outperform my small VW)
  5. to outsell is to sell more than others. (The new sales person is already outselling her coworkers)
Look at this Longman dictionary entry and listen to the examples: outrun

Watch the following video.

Then do this exercise prepared by Ret. It requires an e-mail address (if you want the score): exercise

holy cow!

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Bubba Gimble"

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No, no! I mean... male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes skunk."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Pretty hard to catch."

"Holy cow!" is an exclamation of surprise that is used in the same way as "Holy mackerel!" Both expression are used to show amazement on the part of the speaker. It is interesting that English uses the cow, even as French uses the "vache" as in "Oh, la vache!" A common expression in French that would be appropriate, apart from "Oh, la cache!" is "Ça alors!"

We use "Oh dear!" to express worry, sympathy, and/or concern. "Oh dear!" corresponds to the French "Oh là!" Here are someexamples:

+ John: "I failed my final exams."
   Mary: "Oh dear! What are you gonna do?"

+ Nelson: "Holy mackerel! You won the match?"

Look at this dictionary entry: https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/holy-cow-mackerel-etc

Watch the following video: