ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Just Sipho ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Just Sipho Intermediate · Past Simple · Narrative Tenses ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A Ladybrand Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley rider ARRÊTE QQN CONDUISANT UNE HARLEY for speeding ROULER TROP VITE QUE LA LIMITE DE VITESSE and asks for his name. “Sipho,” the old biker replies. “Sipho what?” the officer inquires. “Just Sipho,” the man responds. In a good mood and considering letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last name NOM DE FAMILLE [AUSSI: SURNAME] ?” The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.” The officer, now curious and slightly...

☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Coin Pocket Guess Intermediate · Past Simple · Conditionals · Reported Speech ✦ 📖 Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français A guy said to his friend, “ Guess DEVINE how many coins PIÈCES I have in my pocket.” The friend replied, “If I guess DEVINE right, will you give me one of them?” The first guy said, “If you guess right, I’ll give you both LES DEUX of them!” 📘 Key Vocabulary + Guess DEVINE Coins PIÈCES Pocket POCHE Replied RÉPONDIT Both LES DEUX Right JUSTE / CORRECTEMENT 📖 Grammar Points + 1. Past simple for narrative The joke uses past simp...

Learn English With Jokes • The Coin Pocket Guess ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Coin Pocket Guess Intermediate · Past Simple · Conditionals · Reported Speech ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français (CAPS). A guy said to his friend, “ Guess DEVINE how many coins PIÈCES I have in my pocket.” The friend replied, “If I guess DEVINE right, will you give me one of them?” The first guy said, “If you guess right, I’ll give you both LES DEUX of them!” 📘 Key Vocabulary + Guess DEVINE Coins PIÈCES Pocket POCHE Replied RÉPONDIT Both LES DEUX R...

Learn English With Jokes • The Barber's House ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Barber's House Intermediate · Past Simple · Indirect Questions ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. This guy sticks his head PASSE LA TÊTE into a barbershop SALON DE COIFFURE and asks, “ How long COMBIEN DE TEMPS before I can get a haircut COUPE DE CHEVEUX ?” The barber looks around REGARDE AUTOUR DE LUI the shop and says, “About two hours.” The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks the same question. The barber looks around at his shop full of customers and says, “About two hours.” The guy leaves. A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks again. The barber looks around the shop and says, “About an hour and a half.” The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a frien...

Learn English With Jokes • The Geometry Teacher's Retirement ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Geometry Teacher's Retirement Intermediate · Past Simple · Reported Speech ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. My dad taught high school geometry for forty years. When he finally retired RETRAITÉ , they threw him a big party ILS LUI ONT ORGANISÉ UNE GRANDE FÊTE in the cafeteria with a cake shaped like a right triangle UN TRIANGLE RECTANGLE nobody wanted to cut. The principal stood up and said, “Bob, after four decades QUATRE DÉCENNIES shaping young minds, what’s your secret to surviving this long SURVIVRE AUSSI LONGTEMPS in education?” Dad puffs out his chest IL BOMBE LE TORSE and says, “Simple. I never cut corners JE NE COUPE JAMAIS LES COINS .” Everyone nods HOCHE LA TÊTE like they had just heard something profound enough to embroider o...

Learn English With Jokes • The Train, The Café, and The Scoffers ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Train, The Café, and The Scoffers Intermediate · Past Simple · Phrasal Verb 'scoff at' ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français (CAPS). A philosophy professor, a priest PRÊTRE , and a software LOGICIEL / INFORMATICIEN engineer are stuck BLOQUÉS on a small regional train that breaks down in the middle of nowhere AU MILIEU DE NULLE PART . The conductor CONTRÔLEUR comes through and says, “We’ll be here for at least AU MOINS two hours. Signal problem. Nothing to do but wait.” The philosophy professor smiles serenely SEREINEMENT . “Ah. A perfect opportunity to contemplate the nature of patience.” The priest nods HOCCHE LA TÊTE . “Or to pray.” The software engineer opens his laptop ORDINATEUR PORTABLE . “I’ll see if there’s Wi-Fi.” There isn’t. ...