ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Ret's ESL Jokes Intermediate · Past Simple · Conditional ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. One day a teacher walks into her classroom, and announces to the class that every Friday she'll ask a question, and any pupil ÉLÈVE who answers correctly won't have to come to school on Monday. On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand SABLE are on Omaha Beach?" Needless to say IL VA SANS DIRE (QUE) , no one could answer. The following Friday the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in our galaxy?" And again no one could answer. Frustrated, little Johnny decides that he ...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Ret's ESL Jokes Intermediate · Past Simple · Narrative Tenses ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A hunter CHASSEUR headed into the woods LES BOIS/LA FORÊT with his brand new rifle FUSIL . He had been tracking a huge bear OURS all season. Finally, he spotted it IL L’APERÇUT . He lined up the shot, fired, and missed MANQUA (LA CIBLE) . The bear turned around SE RETOURNA , walked right up to him, and said, "Listen, buddy MON COPAIN / MON POTE . You tried to kill me. I could tear you apart right now TOUT DE SUITE . But I’m feeling merciful. You can either let me maul you ME LAISSER TE MUTILER / DÉCHIQUETER , or… we can have a little cuddle in th...

Learn English With Jokes • She and the Car ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes She and the Car Intermediate · Present Simple · Direct Speech ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Emily: “There’s trouble PROBLÈME with the car. It has water in the carburettor CARBURATEUR .” David: “Water in the carburettor? That’s ridiculous RIDICULE .” Emily: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.” David: “You don’t even MÊME know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out J’IRAI VÉRIFIER . Where’s the car?” Emily: “In the pool PISCINE .” 📘 Key Vocabulary + trouble PROBLÈME carburettor CARBUR...

Learn English With Jokes • Just Sipho ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Just Sipho Intermediate · Past Simple · Narrative Tenses ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A Ladybrand Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley rider ARRÊTE QQN CONDUISANT UNE HARLEY for speeding ROULER TROP VITE QUE LA LIMITE DE VITESSE and asks for his name. “Sipho,” the old biker replies. “Sipho what?” the officer inquires. “Just Sipho,” the man responds. In a good mood and considering letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last name NOM DE FAMILLE [AUSSI: SURNAME] ?” The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.” The officer, now curious and slightly...

☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Coin Pocket Guess Intermediate · Past Simple · Conditionals · Reported Speech ✦ 📖 Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français A guy said to his friend, “ Guess DEVINE how many coins PIÈCES I have in my pocket.” The friend replied, “If I guess DEVINE right, will you give me one of them?” The first guy said, “If you guess right, I’ll give you both LES DEUX of them!” 📘 Key Vocabulary + Guess DEVINE Coins PIÈCES Pocket POCHE Replied RÉPONDIT Both LES DEUX Right JUSTE / CORRECTEMENT 📖 Grammar Points + 1. Past simple for narrative The joke uses past simp...

Learn English With Jokes • The Coin Pocket Guess ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Coin Pocket Guess Intermediate · Past Simple · Conditionals · Reported Speech ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français (CAPS). A guy said to his friend, “ Guess DEVINE how many coins PIÈCES I have in my pocket.” The friend replied, “If I guess DEVINE right, will you give me one of them?” The first guy said, “If you guess right, I’ll give you both LES DEUX of them!” 📘 Key Vocabulary + Guess DEVINE Coins PIÈCES Pocket POCHE Replied RÉPONDIT Both LES DEUX R...