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07 February 2026

meeting a grizzly bear

Learn English With Jokes
Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.

Two campers are walking through the forest when a huge grizzly bear OURS GRIZZLI suddenly appears in a clearing CLAIRIÈRE about 50 metres in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to move toward them.

The first camper drops his backpack SAC À DOS , takes out a pair of sneakers BASKETS , and frantically FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT starts putting them on.

The second camper says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE that bear.”

“I don’t need to outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE the bear,” the first camper says. “I just need to outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE you.”


Vocabulary
Outrun: to run faster than someone or something.
Frantically: in a hurried, panicked, or desperate manner.
He tried to outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE the danger.
She packed her bag frantically FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT when the storm hit.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses the present continuous to create immediacy and describe ongoing action, then shifts to the present simple in dialogue for clarity and humour.
Present continuous: Two campers are walking through the forest.
Present simple: The first camper says, “I just need to outrun you.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Frantically: hurriedly, desperately.
Outrun: outpace, overtake.
Mini Dialogue
Emma: I ran frantically FRÉNÉTIQUEMENT to catch the bus this morning!
Ben: Well, you can’t outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE traffic, can you?
Emma: True, but I did outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE the rain at least!
Ben (smiling): That’s one victory, at least.


© — This blog collects and shares light-hearted jokes that have been passed along by word of mouth. I do not claim ownership of any of them. You are welcome to copy, share, or tell them at weddings, dinner parties, your braai, or bar mitzvah. If you have a favourite clean joke, drop it in the comments and we may, if it's really good, feature it here. Check out our Privacy Policy.

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06 February 2026

the brass lamp

Learn English With Jokes
Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.

A man finds an old brass lampLAMPE EN LAITON on the beach. It’s very sandy, so he picks it up and rubs itLA FROTTA.

Wouldn’t you know, it starts to emit a plumeVOLUTE of multicoloured smoke and a djinniDJINN appears.

The djinni says, “For freeing me from this lamp I offer you three wishes.”

The man cuts him offL’INTERROMPIT, “I know, I know, three wishes! My first wish is to have €200 billion, free and clear, in the bank.”

The djinni says, “It shall be as you wish, but you did not let me finish. In order to dissuade youTE DÉCOURAGER from making greedy and selfish wishes, whatever you wish for, your worst enemy will receive it twice over.”

“Oh, that’s just fine! Now that I am wealthy, I no longer have ill willRANCUNE toward my enemy. In fact, for my second wish, I wish that when I die, my enemy will get half my estate!”

“Well, that indeed is very generous. I’m so happy that such a kind and generous person found my lamp. What is your third wish?”

“My third wish comes out of a strong regretREGRET PROFOND and sorrowPEINE for my earlier life choices and treatment of others. As punishment, I wish to be beaten half to deathBATTU À DEMI MORT.”


Vocabulary
Djinni: a supernatural being from Middle Eastern mythology able to grant wishes.
Dissuade: to persuade someone not to do something.
The man cuts him offL’INTERROMPIT before he can finish.
The djinni tries to dissuade himLE DÉCOURAGER from being greedy.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events and direct speech, shifting to conditional and modal forms to express wishes and consequences.
Past simple: The man found and rubbed the lamp.
Conditional: The djinni says your enemy will receive twice over.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Wish: desire, request.
Ill will: hostility, resentment.
Mini Dialogue
Lucy: I dissuadedDÉCOURAGEAI Tom from buying that old car—it’s unsafe!
Tom: But I had already cut you offT’AVAIS INTERROMPUE before you could explain why.
Lucy: Then don’t blame me when the engine fails!
Tom (sighing): I have no ill willRANCUNE, but you were right again.


© — This blog collects and shares light-hearted jokes that have been passed along by word of mouth. I do not claim ownership of any of them. You are welcome to copy, share, or tell them at weddings, dinner parties, your braai, or bar mitzvah. If you have a favourite clean joke, drop it in the comments and we may, if it's really good, feature it here. Check out our Privacy Policy.

🌱 If you enjoy this blog, consider buying me a coffee.

05 February 2026

forenames II

Learn English With Jokes
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.

This American-Indian boy went to his mother one day with a puzzled lookREGARD PERPLEXE on his face.

“Mum,” he said, “why is my big brother named Thunderstorm?”

The mother replied, “Because he was conceivedFUT CONÇU during a violent storm.”

The boy asked, “And why is our sister named Running Deer?”

His mother answered, “Your father and I were chasing each otherNOUS NOUS POURCHASSIONS just before we made love and conceived her.”

“And why is our other sister called Starlight?”

“Because a beautiful sun was rising while she was being conceived.”

ThoughtfullyPENSIVEMENT, his mother paused, then said, “But… why are you asking all these questions, Torn RubberLATEX TROUÉ?”


Vocabulary
Puzzled look: an expression showing confusion or uncertainty.
Conceived: to become pregnant; to create a child.
He stared at her with a puzzled lookREGARD PERPLEXE.
The child was conceivedFUT CONÇU during the winter.
Grammar
The story mainly uses narrative past tenses to relate background and explanation.
Past simple: The mother replied calmly.
Past continuous: They were chasing each other before she became pregnant.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Puzzled: confused, baffled.
Conceived: begotten, made pregnant.
Mini Dialogue
Arthur: She gave me a puzzled lookREGARD PERPLEXE when I mentioned the plan.
Beatrice: That idea was conceivedFUT CONÇU far too quickly.
Arthur: We were chasing each otherNOUS NOUS POURCHASSIONS around the issue instead of deciding.
Beatrice: ThoughtfullyPENSIVEMENT, she finally agreed.


© — This page presents light-hearted jokes adapted for English learners. I do not claim ownership of traditional jokes. Please use them kindly and responsibly.

🌱 If you enjoy this, consider buying me a coffee.

04 February 2026

speaking in church

Learn English With Jokes
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.

A mother took her little boy to churchEMMENA SON PETIT GARÇON À L’ÉGLISE.

While in churchPENDANT LA MESSE, the little boy said, “Mummy, I have to peeFAIRE PIPI.”

The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriateAPPROPRIÉ to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now onDÉSORMAIS, whenever you have to ‘pee’, just tell me that you have to whisperCHUCHOTER.”

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his fatherALLA À L’ÉGLISE AVEC SON PÈRE and during the service said to him, “Daddy, I have to whisper.”

The father looked at him and said, “Okay, just whisper in my earOREILLE.”


Vocabulary
To pee: to urinate (informal).
To whisper: to speak very softly.
The boy said he had to peeFAIRE PIPI.
He told his father he had to whisperCHUCHOTER.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple for narration and direct speech, with time markers to maintain narrative flow.
Past simple: A mother took her little boy to church.
Time expression: The following Sunday, the little boy went with his father.
Synonyms & Alternatives
To pee: wee, have a wee.
To whisper: murmur, speak softly.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: Excuse me, I need to whisperCHUCHOTER.
James: This isn’t the library—why are you whispering?
Oliver: Because saying I need to peeFAIRE PIPI sounds worse.


© — This page presents light-hearted jokes adapted for English learners. I do not claim ownership of traditional jokes. Please use them kindly and responsibly.

🌱 If you enjoy this, consider buying me a coffee.

01 February 2026

prison jokes

Learn English With Jokes
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.

After a lengthy trial, Bob is found guilty and sentenced to life in a medium security prisonPRISON DE SÉCURITÉ MOYENNE.

Arriving just in time for the daily lunch, Bob introduces himself to his fellow inmatesDÉTENUS as he waits in line for the meal.

Somebody yells out “56!”, and everyone around Bob starts laughing.

“143!” another inmateDÉTENU declares, and the laughter continues.

What’s withQU’EST-CE QUI SE PASSE AVEC the numbers?” Bob asks.

“Those are jokes,” replies inmateDÉTENU Tom. “All of us have been here so long we memorisedAVONS MÉMORISÉ every joke, so each joke is represented by a number.”

Bob, wanting to fit inS’INTÉGRER, yells out “three thousand, three hundred and thirty-three!”

After a moment of silence, the prison erupts in guffawsÉCLATS DE RIRE. Tom slaps him on the back and says, “Good one! We haven’t heard that one before!”


Vocabulary
Inmates: people who are in prison.
Guffaws: loud, unrestrained laughter.
Bob introduces himself to his fellow inmatesDÉTENUS.
The prison erupts in guffawsÉCLATS DE RIRE.
Grammar
The joke uses past simple for main narration and present perfect for experiences up to a point in the past, with reported speech introduced by "replies".
Past simple: Bob yells out “three thousand, three hundred and thirty-three!”
Present perfect: We haven’t heard that one before.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Inmates: prisoners, convicts.
Memorised: learnt by heart, committed to memory.
Guffaws: belly laughs, roars of laughter.
Fit in: blend in, integrate.
Mini Dialogue
Alice: Why is everyone shouting random numbersDES NOMBRES AU HASARD in the library?
Ben: We’ve all memorisedAVONS MÉMORISÉ the book of riddles, so we just call out the number!
Alice: Brilliant! Let me try… “One hundred and forty-seven!”
Ben (laughing): Excellent! We hadn’t heard that one before!


© — This page presents light-hearted jokes adapted for English learners. I do not claim ownership of traditional jokes. Please use them kindly and responsibly.

🌱 If you enjoy this, consider buying me a coffee.

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