ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Juan & Amal Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour le français. Tapez sur 🔊 pour écouter la prononciation. A woman has identical twins jumeaux • jumelles , and gives them up for adoption les donne en adoption . One of them L’un d’eux goes to a family in Morocco and is named s’appelle ‘Amal’. The other one L’autre goes to a family in Spain and is named ‘Juan’. Many years later Juan sends a picture envoie une photo of himself to his mum maman . When she gets the photo, the mother tells her husband dit à son mari that she wished elle souhaitait she also had a photo of Amal. Her husband responds répond , “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Jua...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Confession & Lemons Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. Man HOMME to his priest PRÊTRE : "Yesterday I had sex with a 17-year-old girl." Priest: " Squeeze PRESSER 17 lemons CITRONS and drink the juice all at once D'UN SEUL COUP ." Man: "And that will take away my sin PÉCHÉ ?" Priest: "No, but it will take away that stupid grin UN GRAND SOURIRE on your face." 📘 Key Vocabulary + priest PRÊTRE squeeze PRESSER ...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Bear & the Christian Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A man is walking MARCHANT through the woods BOIS / FORÊT when he sees a bear charging CHARGER / FONCER at him. He books it FUIT À TOUTE VITESSE (argot) , but he knows he can't outrun COURIR PLUS VITE QUE a bear for long, so he starts praying PRIER , "Dear Lord, I beseech thee "CHER SEIGNEUR, JE T'EN SUPPLIE" (archaïque) ." "Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks RENVERSE him down on the ground, then gets on its knees GENOUX and says, "Dear Lord, thank you fo...

Macho Man ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Machoman's Rules Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A typical macho man married a good-looking belle young lady. A few days after the wedding le mariage , he laid down établit some rules. “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want, and I don’t expect any hassle problèmes from you. I expect a great, warm dinner dîner chaud to be on the table, unless sauf si I tell you I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting chasser , boozing boire , and card-playing with my old buddies amis whenever I want, and don’t give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?” His new bride mariée said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand t...