ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Ten Doctor Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Ten Doctor Jokes B1–B2 · Doctor Jokes · Wordplay & Grammar ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. 1. After the operation Patient: “Doctor, doctor! Since the operation, I can’t feel my legs SENTIR MES JAMBES !” Doctor: “That’s because we’ve cut off COUPÉ your hands.” 2. A carrot Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I feel like a carrot.” Doctor: “Don’t get yourself in a stew UN ÉTAT D’AGITATION / UN RAGOÛT !” “Get yourself in a stew” means to become worried or upset. A stew is also a dish that can contain carrots. 3. A swallowed AVALÉ watch Patient: “Doctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed AVALÉ a watch. What should I do?” Doctor: “Take these pills. They’ll help you pass the time PASSER LE TEMPS / FAIRE PASSER (L’OBJET) .” “Pass the ...

Learn English With Jokes • Making Friends Outside Facebook ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Making Friends Outside Facebook Intermediate · Everyday English · Phrasal Verbs ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles TOUT EN APPLIQUANT LES MÊMES PRINCIPES . Therefore PAR CONSÉQUENT , every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by LES PASSANTS what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I did the night before, what I will do later and with whom AVEC QUI . I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart EN DÉMONTANT DES OBJETS in the garage, watering the lawn EN ARROSANT LA PELOUSE , standing in front of landmarks DES LIEUX OU MONUMENTS EMBLÉMATIQUES , driving around town, having lunch and doing what anybody and everybody does every da...

Learn English With Jokes • A Second Opinion ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes A Second Opinion B1–B2 · Medical Vocabulary · Dark Humour ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A week after arriving back home DE RETOUR CHEZ LUI in the United States, a man wakes up one morning and finds bright green and purple spots DES TACHES D’UN VERT VIF ET VIOLETTES on his penis. He is horrified HORRIFIÉ and immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor has never seen anything like this before. He orders some tests PRESCRIT DES ANALYSES and asks the man to come back in two days for the results. Two days later, the doctor says, “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’ve contracted CONTRACTÉ a disease called Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of INCONNUE here in the United States. We know very little about it.” The man looks confused. “Can’t you give me a shot...