Learn English With Jokes • The Nurse & the Peanuts
Learn English With Jokes
The Nurse & the Peanuts
Intermediate · Hospital Humour · Vocabulary Building
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Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français.
An old man is hospitalised for a routine check-up. His denturesSON DENTIER FUT RETIRÉ have been removed.
A nurse stops by to check on him and sees a bowl of peanuts on the patient's bedside tableSUR SA TABLE DE CHEVET. He asks the old gentleman if he could have some.
Because he has no teeth, the old man replies with some difficulty: “Go ahead, young man, help yourselfSERVEZ-VOUS.”
So the nurse takes a small handfulUNE POIGNÉE and throws it into his mouth.
The next day, the same nurse asks the old man if he can have some more peanuts. The old man says, “Of course, young man, take as many as you like.”
And the same thing happens for a few more days. On the last day there are only a few peanuts at the bottom of the bowl. The nurse hesitates, but says to the old man, “Do you think I can have the rest of them?”
The old man replies, still with difficulty and without dentures, “Go ahead, take what’s left. Anyway I will be dischargedON ME LAISSERA SORTIR tomorrow.”
The nurse takes the last handful of peanuts and, with his mouth still full, says to the old man, “Those were very good. Thanks very much.”
And the old man answers, “I enjoyed them too, young one, but they are really much better when covered with chocolate.”
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Present simple and present continuous
“An old man is hospitalised” describes the current situation. “A nurse stops by to check on him” describes a routine action in the story. Use present simple for habits and repeated actions, present continuous for actions in progress.
2. Present perfect passive
“His dentures have been removed” uses the present perfect passive (have/has been + past participle). This tells us the action happened before now and has a present result — he has no teeth in his mouth right now.
3. Past simple for narrative events
“The nurse took a small handful and threw it into his mouth” uses past simple for completed actions. This tense moves the story forward step by step.
4. Future with “will” for a plan or prediction
“I will be discharged tomorrow” uses the future simple. This can be a plan arranged by the hospital or a prediction. In French, on me laissera sortir or je sortirai.
5. “Help yourself” (imperative)
“Help yourself” is an imperative used to give permission or invite someone to take something. It is friendly and informal.
6. “As many as you like”
This structure (as + adjective + as you like) means “any amount you want”. Compare: “Take as much as you like” with uncountable nouns, and “Take as many as you like” with countable nouns.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
Why it is funny: The nurse thinks the old man is sharing his own peanuts. In fact, the old man has been eating them too — but the punchline reveals they were chocolate-covered peanuts all along, which the toothless man could enjoy because chocolate melts.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are talking about hospital food during a break.
Thabo: My grandfather was in hospital last week. The nurses kept bringing him snacks.
Lerato: That sounds nice. Did he enjoy them?
Thabo: He couldn’t chew much — his denturesDENTIER were at the dentist.
Lerato: So what did he eat?
Thabo: Soft things. Chocolate, mostly. He said the nurse could help himselfSE SERVIR to the rest.
Lerato: And he was dischargedAUTORISÉ À SORTIR a few days later?
Thabo: Yes — with a big smile and an empty bowl.
Practise talking about hospital routines, permission and past events using the words from the joke.
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