24 November 2025

coffee and prophecy

Learn English With Jokes
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.

A man walks into a tiny, dim-litfaiblement éclairé coffee shop and sits at the countercomptoir. The baristaserveur de café, a dead-panimpassible guy with a tattoo of a coffee bean on his forearmavant-bras, asks, “What can I get youQue puis-je vous servir?”

The man sighssoupire, “I’m on a deadlinedate limite. I need something that’ll wake me up, keep me focused, and maybe… give me a glimpseun aperçu of the future.”

The barista nodsacquiesce, pulls out an espresso, and says, “One double-shotdouble espresso, extra-hot, with a side ofaccompagné de prophecy, coming right up.” He slides the cup across, and the man takes a sipune gorgée.

Suddenly, his eyes widens’écarquillent. “Whoa! I just saw… I saw myself winning the sweepstakesloterie!” he exclaims. The barista raises an eyebrowlève un sourcil. “Cool. That’ll be €4.85.” The man fumbles for his walletfarfouille dans son portefeuille, pulls out a crumpledfroissé ticket, and holds it up.

“Look! I bought a sweepstakesloterie ticket yesterday, and the numbers match!”

The barista smiles, reaches under the counter, and pulls out a tiny, antique clock. He winds itle remonte, sets the hands to 8:15, and says, “That’s the time the the sweepstakes drawingle tirage de la loterie is at. You’ve just bought a ticket for the next drawtirage… which is tomorrow.”

The man’s face falls. “So… I haven’t won yet?”

The barista shrugshausse les épaules. “You’ll find out tomorrow… or you won’t. Either wayDans tous les cas, you still owe me €4.85.”


Vocabulary
barista: person who prepares and serves coffee in a coffee shop
deadline: a time by which something must be finished
sweepstakes: a type of lottery or prize draw
The baristaserveur de café made me a perfect flat white.
I’m on a tight deadlinedate limite for this report.
She won £10,000 in a magazine sweepstakesloterie.
Grammar
The joke uses the present simple to narrate the story (narrative present) and direct speech with British punctuation rules.
Narrative present: The man sighs, “I’m on a deadline.”
Direct speech example:Either wayDans tous les cas, you still owe me €4.85.”
Future with “will”: You’ll find out tomorrow…
Synonyms & Alternatives
barista: coffee server, barman (in a café)
deadline: due date, time limit
sweepstakes: lottery, prize draw, raffle
Mini Dialogue
Customer: This coffee let me see the future!
Barista: Brilliant. That’ll be £4.20, please.
Customer: But I’m going to win the lottery tomorrow!
Barista: Great. Pay me tomorrow then… or today. Either way, cash or card?


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