a religious conversion

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A curate, a minister, and a rabbi decide to see who’s best at their job. They each venture into the woodsLES BOIS, find a bearOURS, and attemptTENTER to convert it. Later, they gather to share their experiences.

The curate begins: “When I found the bearOURS, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkledASPERGÉ him with holySAINT water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bearOURS near the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holySAINT word. The bear was so mesmerised that he let me baptise him.”

They both look at the rabbi, who is lying on a stretcherALLONGÉ SUR UN BRANCARD in a castPLÂTRE. “Looking backAVEC LE RECUL,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t haveJE N’AURAIS PAS DÛ started with the circumcision.”

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🔍 Vocabulary

In this joke, let’s examine the woods, attempt, sprinkled, and lying on a stretcher.

The woods: refers to a forested area or woodland.

Attempt: means to try or make an effort to achieve something.

Sprinkled: describes the act of scattering small drops or particles (e.g. powder).

Lying on a stretcher: means resting or reclining on a portable bed used for medical transport.

• They got lost exploring the woods.
• She will attempt to break the record tomorrow.
• He sprinkled salt over the goulashRAGOÛT HONGROIS.
• The patient was lying on a stretcher in the ambulance.

📘 Grammar

This joke employs direct speech to convey the characters’ dialogue vividly.

It also uses the modal verb phrase “shouldn’t have” to express regret about a past action.

• “Next week is his First Communion,” the curate said. (direct speech)
• I shouldn’t have skipped the meeting yesterday. (regret about past action)

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

The woods: forest, woodland

Attempt: try, endeavour

Sprinkled: scattered, dusted

Lying on a stretcher: resting on a gurneyBRANCARD, reclining on a stretcherCIVIÈRE

💬 Mini Dialogue

Accountant: I’ll attempt to balance the books by tonight.

Manager: Good, but don’t sprinkle errors across the spreadsheetTABLEUR.

Accountant: Last time, I was lying on a stretcher from the stress!

Manager: Looking back, you shouldn’t have ignored the audit deadlinesDÉLAIS.

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© — This blog collects and shares light-hearted jokes that have been passed along by word of mouth. I do not claim ownership of any of themJE N’EN RECLAME AUCUNE. You are welcome to copy, share, or tell them at weddings, dinner parties, your braaivleisBARBECUE (EN AFRIQUE AUSTRALE), or even a bar mitzvah. If you have a favourite clean joke, drop it in the comments and we may feature it here.

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