the brass lamp

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A man finds an old brassA YELLOWISH METAL MADE FROM COPPER AND ZINC lamp on the beach. It’s very sandy, so he picks it up and rubsMOVES HIS HAND BACK AND FORTH OVER IT it.

Wouldn’t you know, it starts to emit a plumeA LARGE, VISIBLE CLOUD OR STREAM of multicoloured smoke and a djinniA MAGICAL SPIRIT FROM MIDDLE EASTERN FOLKLORE appears.

The djinni says, “For freeing me from this lamp I offer you three w…”

The man cuts him offINTERRUPTS HIM, “I know, I know, three wishes! My first wish is to have €200 billion, free and clear, in the bank.”

The djinni says, “It shall be as you wish, but you did not let me finish. In order to dissuadePERSUADE SOMEONE NOT TO DO SOMETHING you from making greedy and selfish wishes, whatever you wish for, your worst enemy will receive it twice over.”

“Oh, that’s just fine! Now that I am wealthy, I no longer have ill willBAD FEELINGS OR HOSTILITY toward my enemy. In fact, for my second wish, I wish that when I die, my enemy will get half my estate!”

“Well, that indeed is very generous. I’m so happy that such a kind and generous person found my lamp. What is your third wish?”

“My third wish comes out of a strong regretA FEELING OF SADNESS OR REMORSE ABOUT SOMETHING DONE and sorrowA FEELING OF DEEP DISTRESS OR SADNESS for my earlier life choices and treatment of others. As punishment, I wish to be beaten half to deathHURT SO BADLY THAT ONE IS ALMOST DEAD.”

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In this joke, we come across some interesting words and expressions: brass, djinni, and ill will.
Brass is a yellowish metal made from copper and zinc.
A djinni is a magical spirit from Middle Eastern folklore, often found in stories about lamps and wishes.
Ill will means bad feelings or hostility towards someone.

•  The old lamp was made of brass

•  The granted him three wishes.

•  She held no ill will against her former friend.

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This joke uses the present simple tense for facts and descriptions (e.g. "A man finds an old brass lamp"), and the present continuous for actions happening right now (e.g. "It’s very sandy"). It also uses direct speech to show exactly what the characters say, making the story more vivid and engaging.

•  He finds a lamp on the beach.

•  The lamp is emitting smoke.

•  The djinni says, for freeing me from this lamp I offer you three wishes."

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