getting into heaven

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

God visited a woman and told her that she would have to give upSTOP DOING SOMETHING smoking, drinking, swearingUSING RUDE OR OFFENSIVE WORDS, and sex, if she wanted to get into heavenWHERE GOOD PEOPLE GO AFTER DEATH.

The woman said she would try her best.

A week later, God visited again to see how she was getting onTO CHECK HER PROGRESS.

"Three out of four ain'tIS NOT (INFORMAL ENGLISH) bad," she said. "I've stopped drinking, swearingUSING BAD, OFFENSIVE WORDS and smoking, but..."

"I bent overLEANED FORWARD FROM THE WAIST the freezerCOLD STORAGE BOX FOR FOOD to get some stuffUNNAMED THINGS ↔ TRUCS out when my skirt rode upMY SKIRT MOVED UP UNINTENTIONALLY, and my boyfriend was instantly arousedSEXUALLY EXCITED and took me from behindHAD SEX WITH ME FROM BEHIND, right there in front of everyone!"

God said, "They'll not like that in heavenWHERE GOOD PEOPLE GO AFTER DEATH."

The woman replied, "They weren't too happy about it at the supermarket eitherONE OR THE OTHER OF TWO!"

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🔍 Vocabulary

In this joke, let's look at these three: give up, bent over, and aroused. To give up means to stop doing something. To bend over means to lean forward from the waist. To be aroused means to be sexually excited.

• I had to give up sugar for health reasons.
• He bent over to tie his shoelaces.
• She was aroused by the romantic film.

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📘 Grammar

This joke uses the past simple tense to describe completed actions in the past, such as visited, said, and stopped. It also includes reported speech and direct speech, which show what people said and how. The use of informal speech like ain't (which means 'isn't' or 'aren't') adds humour and character to the dialogue.

• God visited her last week.
• She said she would try her best.
• "I stopped playing football when I left Tennessee."

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💬 Mini Dialogue

Janet: I gave up yoga. It was too hard.
Claire: What happened?
Janet: I bent over once... and my cat thought it was playtime. I’ve never been so aroused and alarmed at the same time.

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🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

Give up: quit, stop, abandon
Bent over: leaned forward, stooped, crouched
Aroused: turned on, excited, stimulated

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