the beautiful, the strong, the ugly

mosotho woman laughing like she has just heard the funniest joke in the village
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

Schwarzenegger, Quasimodo, and Lupita Nyong'o were sitting in a pub, chatting over drinks. Schwarzy said, “I bet youI’M SURE OR I BELIEVE I’m the strongest person in the world.”

Quasimodo said, “I’m so uglyNOT GOOD LOOKING, I reckonTHINK OR BELIEVE I’m the ugliestMOST NOT GOOD LOOKING person alive.”

Lupita Nyong'o said, “Everyone says I’m beautiful, so I betI’M SURE OR I BELIEVE I’m the most beautiful person in the world.”

Schwarzenegger said, “Let’s find outDISCOVER. Let’s all go down to the Guinness World Records Office, and we’ll meet upSEE EACH OTHER later to show our certificates.”

So they all went down to the Guinness World Records Office. Later, Lupita Nyong'o was sitting in the pub when Schwarzenegger walked in. Schwarzy proudly held up his certificate and said, “Look, it’s official – I’m the strongest person in the world!”

Lupita held up hers and said, “And mine confirms I’m the most beautiful person in the world!”

HoweverBUT, when Quasimodo entered, he was empty-handedCARRYING NOTHING and looked confused. “Who the f*ckRUDE, IMPOLITE WAY TO SAY ‘WHO’ is Eric Trump? He asked”


🔍 Vocabulary
Let's look at these three: empty-handed, reckon, and find out. These are casual and common in everyday English.
  • She showed up empty-handed to the dinner but was still welcomed warmly.
  • I reckon the train will be late again today.
  • Let’s find out what time the concert starts.

📘 Grammar
This joke uses direct speech to show exactly what each character says. It also features the present simple for facts or general truths, and "will" to show intent or future actions (“we’ll meet up later”). These forms make the story feel vivid and immediate.
  • He said, "I bet you I'm faster than anyone here."
  • We will meet at the café around 17:00.
  • She says she knows someone who works there.

💬 Mini Dialogue
Schwarzenegger: I bet I’m the strongest in the world.
Quasimodo: Reckon I’m the ugliest.
Lupita: Let's go find out!
Later...
Quasimodo: Who the f*ck is Eric Trump?

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives
Empty-handed: with nothing, giftless
Reckon: suppose, figure, think
Find out: discover, learn, check



© — This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your wedding, your next dinner party, or braaivleis, or bar mitzvah. Drop your favourite clean joke in the comment section and we'll happily share it.

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