birds

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

What two birds met in the insane asylum?
A CuckooCOUCOU and a LoonPLONGEON.

What bird lives in Hollywood?
A StarlingÉTOURNEAU.

What bird can give you splinters?
A WoodpeckerPIC.

What bird works in construction?
A CraneGRUE.

What bird loves guacamole?
A DipperCINCLE.

What do you call a bird that picks its nose?
A FlickerPIC FLAMBOYANT.

What do you call a bird that works at a restaurant?
A WaderÉCHASSIER.

What bird just got arrested?
A RobinROUGE-GORGE.

What bird goes to church?
A CardinalCARDINAL.

What bird does drugs?
A Dark-eyed JuncoJUNCO ARDOISÉ.

What bird wears a toupee?
A HeronHÉRON.

What bird is in a band?
A Rock DovePIGEON BISE.

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🔍 Vocabulary

Each joke is a pun on the bird’s English name and its connection to the question:

• Cuckoo & Loon: Both are birds, but “cuckoo” and “loon” are also slang terms for someone who is crazy—perfect for the asylum joke.
• Starling: Sounds like “star,” linking to Hollywood celebrities.
• Woodpecker: These birds peck wood, which can cause splinter haemorragesHÉMORRAGIES EN ÉCHARDE SOUS LES ONGLES.
• Crane: A construction craneGRUE DE CHANTIER and the bird have the same name.
• Dipper: “dippingTREMPER DANS UNE SAUCE” is related to guacamole, and “dipper” is a bird name.
• Flicker: “Flick” means to pick, usually quickly, and is a bird name.
• Wader: Sounds like “waiter” (restaurant server, with a US accent), but also a type of bird.
• Robin: “Robbin’” (slang for stealing); “robin” is a bird.
• Cardinal: Both a high-ranking church official and a bird.
• Dark-eyed Junco: “Junk” is slang for drugs and a junkie is a drug addict; “junco” is a bird.
• Heron: Sounds like “hair on,” suiting the toupee (wig) joke.
• Rock Dove: “Rock” (music band) and a species of dove (pigeon).

📘 Grammar

These jokes rely on the present simple tense for the set-up (“What bird...?”) and often a noun phrase as the punchline. Each punchline is a play on words using the bird’s name as a pun. The humour comes from double meanings—one literal (the bird) and one figurative (the answer to the riddle).

• What bird can give you splinters? A Woodpecker.
• What bird goes to church? A Cardinal.
• What bird just got arrested? A Robin.

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

Here are some alternative expressions with similar meaning, or other ways each joke could be told:

• Cuckoo & Loon: Mad, bonkers, crazy, nutter, loony, unhinged
• Starling: Celebrity, star, performer, superstar
• Woodpecker: Chip wood, pecker, drilling bird, timberpecker (inventive)
• Crane: Lifter, builder, mechanical bird, hoist
• Dipper: Dipping bird, scooper
• Flicker: Tapper, picker
• Wader: Waiter, server
• Robin: Burglar, thief, crook
• Cardinal: Priest, bishop (church officials)
• Dark-eyed Junco: Junkie, drug user
• Heron: Wig-wearer, toupee wearer
• Rock Dove: Musician, rocker

💬 Mini Dialogue

Person 1: What bird can give you splinter haemorrhages?
Person 2: A woodpecker!
Person 1: And what bird works on a building site?
Person 2: A crane!
Person 1: These puns are for the birds!

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© —This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your wedding, your next dinner party, or braaivleis, or bar mitzvah. Drop your favourite clean joke in the comment section and we'll happily share it.