advert for a man

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𝔸 lonelySE SENTIR SEUL woman decided to place an advert in the local newspaper seeking a man. Her advert listed three requirementsEXIGENCES: the man must not beat his wife, must not follow her when she wishes to go out aloneTOUT SEUL: ON PEUT ÊTRE 'ALONE' ET PAS DU TOUT 'LONELY', and must be great in bedBON AU LIT.

The next morning, her doorbell rang. She opened the door and was surprised to see a man in a wheelchairFAUTEUIL ROULANT smiling up at her. She asked, "Can I help you?"

"I… er… I'm here about your advert for a man," he replied.

The woman was taken aback. He was disabledINFIRME! "Well," she said, "the advert specified a man who wouldn’t beat me."

The man wiggledGIGOTA his armless torso. "I certainly can’t beat anyone, even if I wanted to."

"It also required someone who wouldn’t follow me everywhere," she continued.

The man wiggled the stumpsMOIGNONS of his legs and looked at her.

"And," she added, "he must be great in bed."

The man smiled broadly and said, "Lady, how do you think I rang your doorbell?"

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🔍 Vocabulary

In this joke, let’s examine lonely, requirements, alone, great in bed, wheelchair, disabled, wiggled, and stumps.
Lonely means feeling sad due to a lack of companionship.
Requirements refers to conditions or criteria that must be met.
Alone means being by oneself, not necessarily feeling lonely.
Great in bed implies being highly skilled or satisfying in intimate situations.
Wheelchair is a chair with wheels used by those with mobility challenges.
Disabled describes someone with a physical or mental impairment.
Wiggled means moved or twisted back and forth quickly.
Stumps refers to the remaining parts of amputated limbs.

• She felt lonely after moving to a new city.
• The job has strict requirements for applicants.
• He prefers to work alone in the evenings.
• They say he’s great in bed, but I wouldn’t know!
• She uses a wheelchair to get around comfortably.
• His condition left him disabled, but he’s very independent.
• The puppy wiggled its tail excitedly.
• The tree’s stumps were all that remained after the storm.

📘 Grammar

This joke uses the past simple tense for actions like "decided," "rang," and "said." It employs direct speech to convey the dialogue between the woman and the man. The use of modal verbs like "must" in the advert highlights necessary conditions. Informal speech patterns, such as "er" and ellipses, reflect hesitation or a conversational tone.

• She decided to place an advert in the newspaper.
• "Can I help you?" she asked.
• The man wiggled his stumps and smiled.

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

Lonely: lonesome, isolated
Requirements: conditions, criteria
Alone: by oneself, solitary
Great in bed: skilled intimately, exceptional in intimacy

💬 Mini Dialogue

Clara: I've been feeling so lonely lately. I might place an advert for a flatmate.
Tom: Good idea! What requirements are you setting?
Clara: They must be tidy, give me space to be alone sometimes, and, well, be great company.
Tom: (grinning) Great company, eh? Like, great in conversation?
Clara: (laughs) Exactly! No one in a wheelchair or disabled excluded—they just need to wiggle into my life with some charm!

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