near death experience

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𝔸 middle-aged woman had a heart attackCRISE CARDIAQUE and was rushedEMMENÉE D'URGENCE to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experienceEXPÉRIENCE DE MORT IMMINENTE.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?SUIS-JE SUR LE POINT DE MOURIR ?"

God answered, "No, you have another 30 years, 2 months and 11 days to live."

When she recovered, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a faceliftLIFTING, liposuction, and a tummy tuckPLASTIE DU VENTRE. She even had someone come in and dyeTEINDRE her hair blonde.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figuredELLE S’EST DIT she might as well make the most of itEN PROFITER AU MAXIMUM.

Following her last operation, she was dischargedAUTORISÉE À SORTIR from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a lorryELLE FUT HEURTÉE PAR UN CAMION and died immediately.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 30 years, why didn’t you pull me fromME TIRER DE out of the path of that lorry?"

God replied, "Because I didn’t recognise you."

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🔍 Vocabulary

In this joke, let's look at rushed, facelift, tummy tuck, and discharged.
Rushed means taken very quickly, often in an emergency.
Facelift is a cosmetic surgery to make the face look younger.
Tummy tuck is an operation to remove fat and tighten the stomach.
Discharged means officially sent home from hospital.

• She was rushed to the emergency ward after fainting.
• He had a facelift before his big film role.
• A tummy tuck helped her after major weight loss.
• The patient was discharged on Monday morning.

📘 Grammar

This joke shows direct speech in the woman’s conversation with God. It also demonstrates the use of past passive (e.g. "she was hit by a lorry") to describe actions done to the subject.

• "I thought you said I had another 30 years," she argued. (direct speech)
• She was hit by a lorry on her way home. (past passive)

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

Rushed: hurried, taken quickly
Facelift: cosmetic surgery, lift
Discharged: released, sent home

💬 Mini Dialogue

HR Manager: Why was John rushed out of the office yesterday?
Colleague: He wasn’t well, so the doctor discharged him early.
HR Manager: I figured he would need time off.
Colleague: Yes, but he’ll make the most of his recovery at home.

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