16 September 2025

helping out a neighbour

Learn English With Jokes
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.

A young couple, Edward and Clara, had only been married a few months when Clara went for a check-upun bilan médical. The doctor told her she was pregnantenceinte, which thrilled herl'a ravie, but also warned that, due to a rare complication, she shouldn’t sleep with her husband until after the baby was born.

Clara broke the newsannonça la nouvelle to Edward, who agreed—at least in theory—to wait. After a month, howevernéanmoins, he was strugglingavait du mal. He asked Clara to be intimate, but she refused. Seeing how miserable he looked, Clara finally said, “Edward, I know it’s difficult for you. Here, take £100 and go to a woman of the nightune fille de joie.”

Edward thought to himself, thoughtfulprévenante wife!, pocketed the money, and left in high spirits. On the stairsescaliers, he ran intocroisa the neighbour’s wife, Margaret, who asked, “Why are you looking so happy?”

Edward explained the whole story. Margaret smiled and said, “Why waste timeperdre du temps and money elsewhere? Give me the £100, I'll look after youje m'occupe de toi.”

Edward didn’t need much convincing. He gave her the doshfric, spent twenty minutes in her flatchez elle, and then went back upstairs. Clara was surprised to see him return so quickly.

“What happened, dear? Did you change your mind?” she asked.

Edward replied, “No, I met Margaret downstairs, and she offered to take the money instead.”

Clara snappedrépliqua sèchement, “What an idiot you are! When she was pregnantenceinte, I did her husband for freegratos!”


Vocabulary
a check-up: a routine health exam
woman of the night: prostitute
dosh: British slang for money
in her flat: inside her apartment
He went for a check-upun bilan médical last Friday.
Edward took the doshfric and walked off.
Margaret invited him in her flatchez elle.
He joked about a woman of the nightfille de joie.
Grammar
This anecdote uses reported speech and the past simple tense.
Reported speech: Clara told Edward what the doctor had said.
Past simple: She broke the news to him.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Dosh: quid, cash, dough
Woman of the night: sex worker, lady of the evening, prostitute
Snapped: retorted, replied sharply, screamed back
Mini Dialogue
Billy: Did you get paid the doshfric for that project?
Mpho: Yes, it went straight into my account!
Billy: Fancy drinks in my flatchez moi after work?
Mpho: Why not — let’s not waste timeperdre du temps!


© — This blog collects and shares light-hearted jokes that have been passed along by word of mouth. I do not claim ownership of any of them. You are welcome to copy, share, or tell them at weddings, dinner parties, your braaivleis, or even a bar mitzvah. If you have a favourite clean joke, drop it in the comments and we may, if it's really good, feature it here.

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