A man had been drinking heavilyBUT EN BOIRE at a bar all night. By closing timeÀ L'HEURE DE LA FERMETURE, he was so drunkIVRE that he suddenly vomitedVOMIT all down the front of his shirtCHEMISE.
Panicking, he looked down at the messDÉGÂT and groanedGÉMIT, “Shit, I can’t go home like this. My wife will kill me.”
The bartenderBARMAN noticed his distressDÉTRESSE, leaned overSE PENCHA with a grinSOURIRE MALICIEUX and said, “Here’s what you do. Put a €20 noteBILLET DE 20 € in your pocket. When your wife sees the vomitVOMI, just tell her some drunk guy puked on youVOMIT SUR TOI and gave you €20 for the dry cleaningNETTOYAGE À SEC.”
The man thought it was brilliant. He tuckedGLISSA the €20 into his pocket, steadied himselfSE REDRESSA and staggeredTITUBA home.
As soon as he walked through the door, his wife spotted the stainsREPÉRA LES TACHES on his shirt and crossed her armsCROISA LES BRAS. “What the hell happened to you?” she demanded.
He straightened up as best he could and said, “Some drunk guy at the bar puked VOMITED — INFORMAL, CRUDE all over me. But he felt so bad IL SE SENTIT TELLEMENT COUPABLE about it that he gave me €20 to cover the dry cleaning.”
His wife narrowed her eyesPLISSA LES YEUX, glanced at his handJETA UN ŒIL À SA MAIN and said slowly, “Okay… then why do you have €40 in your hand?”
The man frozeSE FIGEA for a second, then mumbledMARMONNA, “Because… he also shit in my pantsIL A AUSSI CHIÉ DANS MON PANTALON.”
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