donald at the doctor's

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Donald goes to the doctor’s after receiving some very bad news about his conditionSON ÉTAT DE SANTÉ.

Doctor: "UnfortunatelyMALHEUREUSEMENT sir, you have only one week to live."

Donald: "Doctor, what on Earth are you sayingQU’EST-CE QUE VOUS RACONTEZ?", he asked, clearly shocked. "What can I do to live at leastQUE PUIS-JE FAIRE POUR VIVRE AU MOINS a little longer? I don’t have any family but I really want to finish all the television shows I’m watching."

Doctor: "Well, do you eat greasy and friedGRAS ET FRIT food?"

Donald: "Yes."

Doctor: "Stop doing that."

Donald: "If I’ll live longer, sure!"

Doctor: "Do you drink sodas and eat fast food?"

Donald: "Yes."

Doctor: "Stop doing that."

Donald: "If it allows me to live longer, sure."

Doctor: "Do you stay up lateVEILLER TARD?"

Donald: "Most nights."

Doctor: "Stop doing that."

Donald: "AlrightD’ACCORD, done."

Doctor: "Do you have sex often?"

Donald: "Yes. A lot."

Doctor: "Stop doing that."

Donald: "Well, I guessEH BIEN, JE SUPPOSE, if it means living longer."

Doctor: "Do you smoke?"

Donald: "Yes."

Doctor: "Stop doing that."

Donald: "If it allows me to live longer, I will."

Doctor: "Do you drink?"

Donald: "Yes..."

Doctor: "Stop doing that."

Donald: "OK Doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me to do, how much longerCOMBIEN DE TEMPS DE PLUS will I live?"

Doctor: "You'll still only live a weekVOUS N’AUREZ TOUJOURS QU’UNE SEMAINE À VIVRE… but it will seemSEMBLER like a decade."

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Vocabulary

Unfortunately: expressing regret about a bad situation.

Stay up late: remain awake and active during late hours of the night.

The doctor begins with UnfortunatelyMALHEUREUSEMENT.

He asks if Donald tends to stay up lateVEILLER TARD.

Grammar

The joke uses present simple in dialogue for general habits and direct speech, with future simple ("will live", "will seem") for predictions. Past simple narrates the visit and reactions, while conditional structures appear in Donald’s responses ("If I’ll live longer…", "if it allows me…").

Present simple (habits): Do you eat greasy and fried food?

Future simple (prediction): You will still only live a week… but it will seem like a decade.

Synonyms & Alternatives

Unfortunately: sadly, regrettably, alas.

Stay up late: keep late hours, burn the midnight oil.

Seem: feel, appear.

Mini Dialogue

Claire: Doctor, I have terrible insomnia. I stay up lateJE VEILLE TARD every night!

Doctor: UnfortunatelyMALHEUREUSEMENT, that’s not good for your health.

Claire: If I stop, how much longerCOMBIEN DE TEMPS DE PLUS will I sleep well?

Doctor: You’ll sleep better, but it will seemSEMBLER like hours every night!

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