A week after arriving back homeDE RETOUR CHEZ LUI in the States, a guy wakesSE RÉVEILLA one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spotsDES TACHES VERTES ET VIOLETTES ÉCLATANTES. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some testsPRESCRIVIT DES ANALYSES and tells the man to return in two days for the results. Two days later, the doctor tells him, “I’ve got bad newsDE MAUVAISES NOUVELLES for you. You have contracted Mongolian VDLA MALADIE VÉNÉRIENNE MONGOLE. It’s very rare and almost unheard ofINCONNUE here in the U.S. We know very little about it.”
The man, perplexed, asks, “Well, can’t you give me a shotUNE PIQÛRE or something to fix me upPOUR ME GUÉRIR, Doc?”
The doctor answers, “I’m sorry. There’s no known cureIL N’Y A PAS DE REMÈDE CONNU. We are going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!”
The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option.”
The next day, the man seeks outCONSULTA a Chinese doctor, figuring thatPENSANT QUE he will know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaimsDÉCLARA, “Ah, yes. Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.”
The man says, “Yeah, yeah, I alreadyDÉJÀ know that. But what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut offCOUPER my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his headSECOUA LA TÊTE and laughs. “Stupid American doctor. Always want operate—make more money that way. No need amputate!”
“Oh, thank God!” the man exclaimsS’EXCLAMA L’HOMME.
“Yes,” says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two weeks. It fall off by itselfIL TOMBERA DE LUI-MÊME.”
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