adultering

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A woman and her lover are in bed when she suddenly hears her husband’s car pulling into the garageQUI ENTRE DANS LE GARAGE. The unfaithfulINFIDÈLE wife panics.

“Quick! Hide!” she hissesSIFFLA-T-ELLE.

The lover, completely nakedNU, dashes into the bathroomSE PRÉCIPITE DANS LA SALLE DE BAINS while she frantically shoves his clothesFOURRA SES VÊTEMENTS under the bed. Just in time. The husband, not having seen his wife anywhere else in the house, walks into the bedroom and asks:

“And what exactly are you doing lying here nakedALLONGÉE ICI TOUTE NUE on the bed?”

“Darling,” she says sweetly, “I heard your car and thought I’d give you a surprise.”

“Yeah, brilliant,” he replies. “I’ll just pop to the bathroomPASSER PAR LA SALLE DE BAINS and be right back.”

Before she can stop him, the husband steps into the bathroom and finds the lover standing there stark nakedCOMPLÈTEMENT NU, arms in the air, clapping his hands.

“What on earthBON SANG are you doing here?” demands the husband.

“I’m from the pest control company,” the lover answers calmly. “Your wife called us inNOUS A FAITS VENIR to deal with a moth problemUN PROBLÈME DE MITES in the house.”

“But… you haven’t got any clothes on!” says the husband, incredulous.

The lover looks down at himself, pretends to be shocked, and says:
“Oh, those filthyIMMONDES little things!”

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Vocabulary

To dash into (a place): to run quickly or rush suddenly into somewhere.

Stark naked: completely naked, not wearing any clothes at all.

The lover dashes into the bathroomSE PRÉCIPITE DANS LA SALLE DE BAINS when he hears the husband.

The husband finds him stark nakedCOMPLÈTEMENT NU and clapping his hands.

Grammar

The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate the sequence of events, with present simple in direct speech and a present participle for ongoing action.

Past simple narration: The lover dashed into the bathroom; the husband walked into the bedroom.

Direct speech in the present: “What on earth are you doing here?” uses present continuous to describe an action in progress.

Synonyms & Alternatives

Filthy: dirty, disgusting.

To call someone in: to summon, to bring in (for professional help).

Mini Dialogue

Emma: I called the electrician inAI FAIT VENIR L’ÉLECTRICIEN to deal with the wiring.

Josh: What on earth are you doing lyingEN TRAIN DE T’ALLONGER on the kitchen floor?

Emma: I nearly slipped; I just dashed into the bathroomME SUIS PRÉCIPITÉE DANS LA SALLE DE BAINS to clean my hands.

Josh: Look at these filthyIMMONDES tiles, we really need someone to help.

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