Passez la souris sur (ou touchez) les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
A young guy met a sixty-year-old woman at a bar and thought she looked extremely
dashingÉTAIT D’UNE ÉLÉGANCE REMARQUABLE.
He found himself thinking she probably had
a really hot daughterAVAIT UNE FILLE TRÈS SÉDUISANTE.
The young guy drank
a couple of beersBUT QUELQUES BIÈRES
with her until she asked if he’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“It’s a mother and daughter
threesomePARTICIPAIENT À UN PLAN À TROIS,” she answered.
As his mind began
to warm to the ideaS’OUVRIT PEU À PEU À L’IDÉE,
and
he wonderedSE DEMANDA
what her daughter might look like, he said, “No, I haven’t.”
They drank a bit more, then she said with
a winkFIT UN CLIN D’ŒIL,
“Tonight’s your lucky night.”
They went back to her place and walked in. She put on
the hall lightALLUMA LA LUMIÈRE DU COULOIR
and shouted upstairs: “Mom… are you still
awakeÉTAIS ENCORE RÉVEILLÉE?”
Vocabulary
Dashing: stylish and very attractive in appearance.
Wink: closing one eye briefly to signal humour or complicity.
He thought she looked dashingÉTAIT D’UNE ÉLÉGANCE REMARQUABLE.
She spoke to him with a winkFIT UN CLIN D’ŒIL.
Grammar
The joke is narrated mainly in the past simple, with natural past forms inside the dialogue.
Past simple narration: He met a woman and thought she looked elegant.
Past continuous idea development: His mind was warming to the idea as he listened.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Dashing: stylish, striking.
Wondered: pondered, considered.
Mini Dialogue
Martin: That new neighbour looked absolutely dashingÉTAIT D’UNE ÉLÉGANCE REMARQUABLE at the party.
Claire: I wonderedME DEMANDAI where she bought her outfit.
Martin: She smiled and a winkFIT UN CLIN D’ŒIL as she left.
Claire: I think we should invite her over for tea sometime.
Passez la souris sur (ou touchez) les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
I onceUNE FOIS took a sex education class at university, and a funnyDRÔLE thing happened one day.
The teacher arrived and told us we'd beNOUS ALLIONS discussing sex positions that day, and asked us how many positions we knew. A young girl near me said, “seven.”
The professor said, “Very good.” But as he prepared to ask another student, a loudBRUYANTE voice from the back of the lecture hallAMPHITHÉÂTREshoutedCRIA, “ninety-one!”
The professor looked overPAR-DESSUS his glasses but couldn’t really make outDISTINGUER who had spoken. Finally, he called on a guy in the front rowRANG, and the guy said, “five.”
And again from the back, the same voice shouted, “ninety-one!”
Finally, the teacher pointed to a shyTIMIDE-looking lady sitting not far from me. She hesitated, then said, “Only one, Sir.”
The teacher asked, “Well, that’s unusual, young lady. And what position is that?”
“The oneCELLE with the man on top and the woman under him,” she replied.
And from the back of the room, the same loud voice shouted, “ninety-two!”
Vocabulary
Lecture hall: a large room where university lessons take place.
Shout: to speak very loudly.
A loud voice came from the back of the lecture hallAMPHITHÉÂTRE.
Someone suddenly shoutedCRIA the answer.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events, with past continuous ideas implied in the background action.
Past simple for narration: The teacher arrived and told us we’d be discussing something.
Modal in reported speech: He told us we would be discussing the topic that day.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Shouted: yelled, cried out.
Shy: timid, reserved.
Mini Dialogue
Amelia: Someone shoutedCRIA my name across the lecture hallAMPHITHÉÂTRE yesterday.
Oliver: Was it that shyTIMIDE new student?
Amelia: No, it was my brother trying to embarrass me.
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A man who smelled like a distillery floppedS’AFFAISA on a subwayMÉTRO seat next to a priest.
The man's tie was stainedSA CRAVATE ÉTAIT TACHÉE, his face was plastered withÉTAIT BARBOUILLÉ DE red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking outDÉPASSAIT of his tornDÉCHIRÉ coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes, the dishevelledDÉBRAILLÉ guy turned to the priest and asked, “Say, father, what causes arthritis?”
“Mister, it's caused by loose livingUNE VIE DÉBAUCHÉE, being with cheap, wicked womenDES FEMMES VILES ET IMMORALES, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.”
“Well I'll be,” the drunk mutteredMARMONNA L’IVROGNE, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the manDONNA UN COUP DE COUDE À L’HOMME and apologised. “I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strongÀ ÊTRE SI BRUSQUE. How long did you have arthritis?”
“I don't have it, father. I was just reading here that the Pope doesJE VENAIS DE LIRE ICI QUE LE PAPE EN SOUFFRAIT.”
Vocabulary
Dishevelled: untidy, messy in appearance.
Loose living: an immoral or excessive lifestyle.
The dishevelledDÉBRAILLÉ man sat next to the priest.
The priest blamed his condition on loose livingUNE VIE DÉBAUCHÉE.
Grammar
The joke uses past simple for narration and past perfect for earlier background actions.
Past simple: He opened his newspaper and began reading.
Past perfect: The priest thought about what he had said.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Dishevelled: scruffy, unkempt.
Muttered: mumbled, grumbled.
Mini Dialogue
Henry: A dishevelledDÉBRAILLÉ man sat next to me on the bus yesterday.
Clara: What did he do?
Henry: He mutteredMARMONNA something about politics and newspapers.
Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
A man entered the
.
SALLE DES URGENCES
“What happened?” asked the doctor.
“Well,” the man explained, “my wife
some clothes just behind my
while I
TV. She put down the
next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.”
ÉTAIT EN TRAIN DE REPASSER
FAUTEUIL
REGARDAIS
FER À REPASSER
“Wow, that’s terrible,” responded the doctor. “What happened to your other ear?”
“Well,” the guy responded,
,
the phone rang again!”
IMMÉDIATEMENT APRÈS
Vocabulary
Armchair: a comfortable chair with arm supports.
Iron: a device for pressing clothes.
Grammar
Past simple: A man entered the emergency room.
Past continuous: My wife was ironing while I was watching TV.
Reported speech: “What happened?” asked the doctor.
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The PopeLE PAPE, the Dalai Lama, and the Archbishop of Canterbury decide to go fishing. They hireILS LOUÈRENT a boat and row outRAMÈRENT AU LARGE to the middle of a lake. It is a scorching dayUNE JOURNÉE TORRIDE, and within an hour or two they have finished all the beer.
“Let’s row back to shoreREVÎNMES À LA RIVE EN RAMANT and get a carry-outDE QUOI BOIRE À EMPORTER AU PUB from the local pub,” says the Pope.
“No need,” says the Dalai Lama. He steps over the sidePASSA PAR-DESSUS LE BORD of the boat and calmly walks across the surface of the water to the shoreLA RIVE. Ten minutes later, he returns with more beer and steps into the boatREMONTA DANS LE BATEAU.
Half an hour later, they run out of beerILS N’EURENT PLUS DE BIÈRE again.
“My turn,” says the Pope. He peersIL REGARDA ATTENTIVEMENT over the side and breaks into a broad smileAFFICHA UN LARGE SOURIRE. He steps over and walks across the water, returning shortly after with more beer, strollingSE PROMENANT TRANQUILLEMENT back to the boat.
Another half hour passes, and once again the beer is gone.
The Archbishop steps over the side of the boat and immediately sinks below the surfaceCOULA SOUS LA SURFACE. The other two haul him back aboardLE HISSAIENT À BORD. As he lies there coughingTOUSSAIT and splutteringCRACHAIT DE L’EAU, the Pope says, “Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stonesLES PASSE-PIERRES?”
Vocabulary
Carry-out: drinks or food bought to take away from a pub.
Shore: the land at the edge of a lake or sea.
They went to get a carry-outDES BOISSONS À EMPORTER from the pub.
He walked across the water to the shoreLA RIVE.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses the past simple for narration, with present tense in direct speech.
Past simple narration: They rowed out to the middle of the lake.
Past simple in sequence: He stepped over and walked across the water.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Shore: bank, waterside.
Carry-out: takeaway, to-go drinks.
Mini Dialogue
Oliver: Let’s go to the café and get a carry-outDES BOISSONS À EMPORTER.
Harry: Good idea. We can sit by the shoreLA RIVE and relax.
