Passez la souris sur (ou touchez) les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
On an international flightVOL, a young woman was having a long conversation with the priestPRÊTRE sitting next to her.
They were about toALLAIENT DE land when the woman, looking slightly embarrassed, said, “Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour? I bought a luxury massage toolAPPAREIL that was quite expensive, and I really don’t want to pay customs feesTAXES DE DOUANE. Could youPOURRIEZ‑VOUS hide it under your cassockSORTE DE ROBE LONGUE when we pass through customsLA DOUANE… please?”
The priest reluctantlyÀ CONTRECŒUR agreed and hid the massage tool under his cassock. But he warned her, “I’ll do my best, but I cannot lieMENTIR.”
At the airport, a customs officerDOUANIER approached the priest and asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
The priest replied, “From my head to my waistTAILLE, I have nothing to declare.”
The officer follows‑upPOSA UNE QUESTION SUPPLÉMENTAIRE, “Well, do you have anything to declare belowAU‑DESSOUS DE your waist?”
The priest answered, “BelowAU‑DESSOUS DE my waist, I only have a tool meant to pleasePOUR PLAIRE women, but up to today, it has still not been used.”
Vocabulary
Customs fees: extra money paid when bringing goods into a country.
Cassock: a long, loose robe worn by priests.
The woman does not want to pay customs feesTAXES DE DOUANE.
She asks the priest to hide the massage toolAPPAREIL under his cassock.
Grammar
The joke uses mainly past simple to narrate events and reported speech, with a few present‑tense lines in the direct dialogue.
Past simple: They were about to land when the woman said, “Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour?”
Reported speech / indirect meaning: The priest warned her that he could not lie.
Present in dialogue: The customs officer asks, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Customs fees: import duties, customs charges.
Tool: device, gadget.
Mini Dialogue
Louise: I just bought an expensive perfume in Paris and I really don’t want to pay customs feesTAXES DE DOUANE.
Tom: I could put it under my jacket at the airport, but I cannot lieMENTIR if they ask.
Customs officer: Do you have anything to declare belowAU‑DESSOUS DE your waist?
Tom: No, sir, I only have my passport and my wallet.
Choisissez des blagues selon la grammaire utilisée (à partir des 'labels' au dessus)
Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
Two AfrikanerDESCENDANT NEERLANDAIS D’AFRIQUE DU SUD friends, Pieter and Jaco, were chattingDISCUTAIENT before Pieter’s weddingMARIAGE.
Pieter admitted, “BoetFRÈRE… I’m stressing. I’ve never… you know… been with a woman before.”
Jaco grinnedSOURIAIT LARGEMENT. “Relax, man. I’ve got youJE M’OCCUPE DE TOI / JE GÈRE. I’ll sneakME FAUFILER DISCRÈTEMENT into the honeymoon suiteSUITE NUPTIALE before you arrive, hide behind the curtainLE RIDEAU, and whisperCHUCHOTER instructions.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course, broerFRÈRE.”
So the big day arrived. It was a beautiful wedding and the couple looked happy. Jaco slipped intoSE GLISSA DISCRÈTEMENT DANS the honeymoon suite early and hid behindSE CACHA DERRIÈRE the curtain.
Later, Pieter and his new wife, Anel, arrived. Things started getting romantic… but Pieter was nervous, and his stomach was not cooperating.
“Listen, my love,” he said, “I’m just going to the bathroomLES TOILETTES quickly. That worsrolSAUCISSE EN PÂTE FEUILLETÉE from earlier…”
“No problem, babe.”
He disappeared into the bathroom—and took a whileA PRIS DU TEMPS.
Now Anel started getting anxious too. She felt the pressure building, but she did not want to ruin the moment by running to the bathroom right after him.
She looked aroundREGARDA AUTOUR D’ELLE, panicking, and spottedREPÉRA a shoebox. In desperation, she used it… then quickly shoved it under the bedPOUSSA SOUS LE LIT just as Pieter came out.
They got back on the bed and started again. But after a minute, Pieter paused.
“EishAÏE… what’s that smell?C’EST QUOI CETTE ODEUR ?”
“Nothing, my love,” Anel said quickly.
“No man, there’s definitely something not right here.”
He got up, started searching the room… corners, cupboardPLACARD / ARMOIRE… then finally looked under the bed.
He pulled out the shoebox, opened it… and recoiledRECULA AVEC DÉGOÛT.
“SiesBEURK! Darr's kak in hierdie doosIL Y A DE LA MERDE DANS CETTE BOÎTE!”
From behind the curtain, Jaco shouted:
“Nee man, draai haar omNON MEC, RETOURNE-LA!”
Vocabulary
Boet: Afrikaans informal term for brother or mate.
Sies: Afrikaans exclamation expressing disgust.
Pieter said, “BoetFRÈRE… I’m stressing.”
He shouted “SiesBEURK!” when he opened the box.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate the sequence of events and past continuous for ongoing or background actions, with reported speech for the dialogue.
Past simple: Two friends were chatting before the wedding and Jaco slipped into the suite.
Reported speech: Pieter admitted that he had never been with a woman before.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Boet: broer, mate, buddy.
Sies: yuck, gross, disgusting (expression of distaste).
Mini Dialogue
Thomas: Mate, I’m really nervous. I have never driven on the motorway before.
Lucas: Relax. I will hide in the back seat and whisper instructions.
Thomas: My hands are shaking. What if I make a mistake?
Lucas (whispering): Keep calm and turn left at the next junction!
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about thatNOUS VERRONS BIEN CELA.
Stewart Francis
If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?
Dara Ó Briain
I cleaned the atticLE GRENIER with my wife the other day. Now I can't get the
cobwebsTOILES D’ARAIGNÉE out of her hair.
Unknown
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Emo Philips
When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!
Unknown
Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
Unknown
War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Ambrose Bierce, 1842–1913
I remember the last thing my
nanMAMIE said to me before she died: What are you doing here with that
hammerMARTEAU?
Lee Mack
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
Henny Youngman
I think I see a cab. If we run quickly we can kick the
crutchBÉQUILLE from that old lady and get it.
Woody Allen
Vocabulary
Attic: the space just below the roof of a house.
Cobwebs: old spider webs found in neglected places.
They went up to the atticLE GRENIER.
Her hair was full of cobwebsTOILES D’ARAIGNÉE.
Grammar
The quotes mix conditionals, past narration, and direct speech for comic timing.
Second conditional: If God had written the Bible…
Direct speech: “We’ll see about that.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Attic: loft, roof space.
Cobwebs: spider webs, dust threads.
Mini Dialogue
Arthur: If I had known, I would never have gone into the atticLE GRENIER.
Brian: Why? Was it full of cobwebsTOILES D’ARAIGNÉE?
Arthur: Completely! I looked like a ghost afterwards.
Brian: We’ll see about that when I check the photos.
Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.
During a visit to a mental asylumUN ASILE PSYCHIATRIQUE, a man asked the director how they determined whetherSI a patient should be institutionalised.
The director explained, “Well, we fill up a bathtubNOUS REMPLISSONS UNE BAIGNOIRE. Then we give the person a teaspoonUNE CUILLÈRE À CAFÉ, a teacupUNE TASSE À THÉ, and a bucketUN SEAU, and ask them to emptyDE VIDER the bathtub.”
The man nodded confidentlyHOCHA LA TÊTE AVEC ASSURANCE. “Oh, I see! A normal person would use the bucket, because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
The director frowned slightlyFRONÇA LÉGÈREMENT LES SOURCILS, then gestured to the orderliesFIT UN GESTE AUX SURVEILLANTS. “No, a normal person would pull the bathtub drain plugTIRER LA BONDE DE LA BAIGNOIRE. Now then… would you preferPRÉFÉRERIEZ-VOUS a bed near the window?”
Vocabulary
Frown: to wrinkle the forehead in disapproval or thought.
Gesture: to make a movement with the hand or head to express an idea.
The director frowned slightlyFRONÇA LÉGÈREMENT LES SOURCILS at the man’s answer.
He gestured to the orderliesFIT UN GESTE AUX SURVEILLANTS before speaking.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events and reported speech, with a mix of past continuous and conditional structures for the explanation and final question.
Past simple: The director explained and the man nodded.
Reported speech / indirect question: A man asked the director how they determined whether a patient should be institutionalised.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Frowned slightly: scowled a little, looked puzzled.
Nodded confidently: agreed assuredly, bobbed his head surely.
Mini Dialogue
Doctor: We fill the basin and give Mr. Dupont a spoon, a mug, and a pail to empty it.
Visitor: Ah, a sane person would choose the pail!
Doctor: No, he would pull the drain plugTIRER LA BONDE.
