Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
Two men were walking their dogs one day. The first man said, “My dog is very
patient
QUI SAIT ATTENDRE SANS SE PLAINDRE.. I swear he never moves until I tell him.”
The second man asked, “What is his name?”
The first man replied,
“
Wait for it
EXPRESSION UTILISÉE POUR CRÉER DU SUSPENSE (« ATTENDS UN PEU… »), MAIS ICI COMPRISE LITTÉRALEMENT : LE CHIEN DOIT ATTENDRE.
.”
Teacher: Why are you eating your homework, Johnny?
Johnny: Because you said it was a piece of cakeMORCEAU DE GÂTEAU (TRÈS FACILE)!
Why didn’t the skeletonSQUELETTE go to the party?
Because he had no bodyPERSONNE (AUCUN CORPS) to go with!
A tomatoTOMATE family was walking down the street.
The baby tomato fell behind. The daddy tomato went back, squashedÉCRASA him and said, “KetchupRATTRAPE-NOUS ↔ CATCH UP (KETCHUP)!”
More Vocabulary
Patient: able to wait without becoming annoyed.
Piece of cake: something very easy to do.
Skeleton: the bones inside a body.
No body: nobody (no person, no-one); also, no physical body.
Tomato: a red fruit used as a vegetable.
Squash: to crush something soft.
Ketchup: a sauce made from tomatoes; sounds like “catch up” (to reach the same place).
Be patientPATIENT when learning English!
This exercise is a piece of cakeMORCEAU DE GÂTEAU.
The skeletonSQUELETTE danced at Halloween.
Hurry up and ketchupRATTRAPE-NOUS with the group!
Grammar Notes
These jokes use direct speech, puns (wordplay), and simple past tense.
Pun example: “No body” means both “nobody” and “no physical body”.
Idiom: “A piece of cake” = very easy.
Homophone: “Ketchup” sounds like “catch up”.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Patient: calm, tolerant
Easy: simple, a piece of cake, a breeze
Squash: crush, flatten
Mini Dialogue
Student A: Why is English homework easy?
Student B: Because it's a piece of cakeMORCEAU DE GÂTEAU!
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
Donald Trump is flying in his private jet along withACCOMPAGNÉ DE Donald Jr, Ivanka, and Melania. He says, “I think I shall throwJETTERAI a $20 bill out the window. Some person down belowEN BAS will find it and be very happy!”
Donald Jr then says, “Wait, you should throwJETTER out two $10 bills. Two people down belowEN BAS will find them and be very happy!”
Ivanka then says, “Wait, leave it to meLAISSEZ-MOI FAIRE: you should throwJETTER out four $5 bills. Four people will find them and be very happy!”
Melania then says, “Oh, for heaven’s sakePOUR L’AMOUR DU CIEL! Just jump out the window yourselfTOI-MÊME and everyone in the world will be very happy!”
Vocabulary
Private jet: a small aircraft owned or hired by a wealthy individual.
Bill: a banknote (American English for a piece of paper money).
Down below: on the ground far beneath the aircraft.
He travels by private jetJET PRIVÉ.
She paid with a twenty-dollar billBILLET.
From the plane, people looked tinyMINUSCULESdown belowEN BAS.
Grammar
Direct speech is used to report exactly what someone says, placed inside quotation marks. “Shall” (with I/we) expresses future intention in formal or polite British English.
Direct speech: He says, “I think I shall throw a $20 bill out the window.”
Shall for future: “I shall throw a $20 bill…” (intention).
Should for suggestion: “You should throw out two $10 bills.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Private jet: private plane, executive jet
Bill: note, banknote, paper money
Down below: on the ground, far below
Mini Dialogue
Passenger 1: I’m going to throwJETTER some money out of the plane!
Passenger 2: You should throwJETTER more smaller billsBILLETS so more people down belowEN BAS can find them.
Passenger 3: Oh, for heaven’s sakePOUR L’AMOUR DU CIEL, just keep your money!
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
A man went to see his doctor, worried about his wife’s
hearing
L’OUÏE.
The doctor said, “Stand behind her and say something, then tell me how
close
PROCHE
you are when she hears you.”
The man went home and saw his wife cutting carrots on the kitchen
countertop
PLAN DE TRAVAIL.
From about fifteen feet away, he asked, “Darling, what’s for dinner?”
Nothing.
He walked
halfway
À MI-CHEMIN
closer and repeated the question.
Still nothing.
Finally, he stood right behind her and asked again, “What’s for dinner?”
She turned around and said, “For the third time… beef stew!”
Vocabulary
Hearing: the ability to perceive sound.
Countertop: a flat surface in a kitchen.
Halfway: at the middle point.
His hearingOUÏE seemed perfectly fine.
She cleaned the countertopPLAN DE TRAVAIL.
Grammar
Past simple: used for completed actions in the past.
Reported instructions: the doctor explained what to do.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
Donald Trump
HOMME D’AFFAIRES ET HOMME POLITIQUE AMÉRICAIN CONTROVERSÉ
was walking through
Manhattan
ARRONDISSEMENT DE NEW YORK
when he noticed a long
queue
FILE D’ATTENTE.
Curious, he decided to join it.
People would
glance over their shoulders
JETÈRENT UN COUP D’ŒIL PAR-DESSUS L’ÉPAULE,
realise it was
Donald Trump
HOMME D’AFFAIRES ET HOMME POLITIQUE AMÉRICAIN CONTROVERSÉ
behind them, and then quietly leave the queue.
As a result, he moved steadily closer to the front.
When he was almost at the
head of the queue
TÊTE DE LA FILE,
he turned to one man — who also seemed ready to walk away — and asked,
“What is this queue for, and why are you leaving?”
The man replied,
“This is the
queue
FILE D’ATTENTE
for
Canadian immigration visas
VISAS D’IMMIGRATION CANADIENS,
but if you are getting one, I do not need one anymore.”
Vocabulary
Queue: a line of people waiting for something.
Glance: to look quickly at something.
Immigration visa: official permission to enter and live in a country.
The queueFILE D’ATTENTE stretched around the corner.
He glancedJET A UN COUP D’ŒIL behind him nervously.
She applied for a visaVISA to move abroad.
Grammar
Past simple: used for completed actions in the past.
Direct speech: exact words spoken, shown in quotation marks.
Cause and result: “As a result” links actions and consequences.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Queue: line, waiting line
Glance: peek, quick look
Leave: depart, walk away
Mini Dialogue
Person 1: Why is everyone leaving this queueFILE D’ATTENTE?
Person 2: Haven’t you seen who just joined it?
Person 1: Oh! I think I’ll walk awayM’ÉLOIGNER too.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
One morning, a patient arrived at a doctor’s surgery complaining of severe back pain.
The doctor examined him and asked, “All right, what happened to your back?”
The patient said, “You know I work at a local nightclub, don’t you?”
He continued, “This morning I came home early to my
flat
APPARTEMENT
and heard a noise in my bedroom. When I went in, I realised someone had been with my wife. Then I saw that the
French window
PORTE-FENÊTRE
to the balcony was open.”
“I hurried out onto the balcony but found no one. Looking down, I saw a man
running
COURANT
out of the building and
putting his clothes on
S’HABILLANT
in a hurry.”
“And?” the doctor said.
“I
grabbed
SAISIS
the fridge and threw it at him — that’s how I strained my back.”
A second patient came in looking as though he had been in a car accident. The doctor said, “Good God! The previous fellow looked bad, but you look far worse. What happened to you?”
The man said, “You know I’ve been
unemployed
AU CHÔMAGE
for some time. Today was my first day at a new job. I forgot to set my alarm clock and overslept. I was
running out
SORTANT EN COURANT
of the building,
getting dressed
M’HABILLANT
at the same time, and you won’t believe it, but I got hit by a fridge.”
A third patient arrived, looking even
worse
PIRE
than the other two. The doctor was shocked but asked, “What the hell happened to you?”
“Well,” the third man said, “I was
hiding
CACHER
in a fridge…”
Vocabulary
Flat: an apartment; a set of rooms for living in, usually on one floor of a building.
French window: a pair of glazed doors that open onto a balcony or garden (British English).
Unemployed: without a paid job.
He lives in a small flatAPPARTEMENT in the city centre.
The French windowPORTE-FENÊTRE was wide open.
She has been unemployedAU CHÔMAGE since last summer.
Grammar
Past perfect is used for an action completed before another past action. Past continuous describes ongoing actions in the past.
Past perfect: I realised someone had been with my wife.
Past continuous: He was running out of the building and getting dressed.
Synonyms & Alternatives
Flat: apartment
French window: patio doors, balcony doors
Unemployed: out of work, jobless
Mini Dialogue
Doctor: What happened to your back?
Patient 1: I grabbedSAISIS a fridge and threw it off the balcony!
Doctor: And you?
Patient 2: I was running outSORTANT EN COURANT and a fridge hit me.
