man in hell

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

A politicianPERSON WHO WORKS IN GOVERNMENT dies and finds himself standing before the pearly gatesTHE ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN IN CHRISTIAN BELIEF. Saint PeterTHE GATEKEEPER OF HEAVEN IN CHRISTIAN BELIEF informs him that he must spend one day in hellPLACE OF ETERNAL SUFFERING.

“It’s a requirementSOMETHING THAT MUST BE DONE for people in your line of work,” he explains. Terrified, the politician tries to charm his way out of itTO USE FLATTERY TO AVOID SOMETHING, but Saint Peter remains unmoved. With a sighA LONG, DEEP BREATH TO SHOW EMOTION, he pushes the man through the clouds, sending him tumbling into hell.

The politician wakes up in a luxurious hotel room, the scent of bacon in the air and the sound of ocean waves crashing outside. A butlerA PERSON WHO SERVES IN A HOUSE OR HOTEL enters, carrying a Mai TaiA COCKTAIL DRINK WITH RUM AND FRUIT JUICE. “Your drink, sir,” he says. “Who are you?” the politician asks. “Satan!” the butler replies with a grinA BIG, FRIENDLY SMILE.

The politician is too stunnedVERY SURPRISED OR SHOCKED to speak, so Satan fills the silence. “I know it’s a shock. People expect eternal misery, but really, it’s just a lot of… well, what you might call sinsBAD OR IMMORAL ACTIONS.”

Satan hands him the Mai Tai, and suddenly, the politician hears his wife’s voice. He looks out the window to see her—along with all his closest friends. Glancing down at himselfLOOKING QUICKLY AT HIS OWN BODY, he realises he looks and feels 20 years younger. OverjoyedEXTREMELY HAPPY, he rushes outside, drink in hand, and spends the day surfing, laughing, and catching up with everyone.

That evening, he and his wife—reunited after six years apart—talk and drink for hours before retreating to their room, where they make love just like they did on their honeymoonTHE FIRST HOLIDAY AFTER MARRIAGE. It’s the happiest he’s ever been.

Then, abruptlySUDDENLY AND UNEXPECTEDLY, he wakes up—back at the pearly gatesTHE ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN IN CHRISTIAN BELIEF.

“Okay,” Saint Peter says, “what’ll it beWHAT DO YOU CHOOSE??”
“I can’t imagine anything better than hell,” the politician replies.
Saint Peter shrugsMOVES SHOULDERS TO SHOW NO STRONG FEELING. “Well, heaven’s got the angels, golden wings, heavenly choirs, white robes—the whole shebangEVERYTHING THAT’S USUALLY INCLUDED.”^[shebang]
The politician hesitates. “Uh… no thanks. I’ll take hell.”
Saint Peter sighsBREATHES OUT TO SHOW SADNESS OR TIREDNESS. “Yeah, that’s what they all say.” And with that, he pushes him back through the clouds.

This time, the politician awakens in stiflingHOT, UNCOMFORTABLE, AND HARD TO BREATHE IN darkness. Distant screams pierce the air. Flickering flames illuminate tormented souls writhingTWISTING IN PAIN in agony. A flash of lightning reveals Satan standing beside him, grinning wickedlySMILING IN A MEAN AND EVIL WAY, a soldering ironTOOL THAT BURNS METAL TO JOIN IT in one hand and razor wireSHARP WIRE USED TO CUT OR INJURE in the other.

“Where’s my wife? Where are my friends? Where’s the paradise you showed me?” the politician shrieksSCREAMS LOUDLY IN FEAR OR PAIN in despair.

Satan leans inMOVES HIS BODY CLOSER, his voice dripping with maliceFULL OF HATE OR EVIL FEELING.

“Yesterday, we were campaigningTRYING TO GET VOTES IN AN ELECTION. Today… you’ve cast your voteYOU HAVE MADE YOUR FINAL CHOICE.”

---

In this joke, let's look at three useful expressions: to charm his way out of it, shrug, and dripping with malice. To charm his way out of it means to try to escape a situation by being nice or flattering. A shrug is a body movement that shows you don’t know or care. Dripping with malice means full of hate or evil feelings.

•  He tried to charm his way out of it, but she wasn’t convinced.

•  She just shrugged and walked away.

•  His words were dripping with malice.

---

This joke uses the past continuous tense to describe actions that were in progress in the past, such as "was walking" and "were drinking." It also uses direct speech to show exactly what the characters said. The past continuous is helpful for describing background actions or setting a scene.

•  They were drinking cocktails on the beach when I arrived.

•  He was looking for his shoes when the doorbell rang.

•  She asked his what he was doing when the phone rang."

---

---

Sign up for our word of the day to receive vocabulary tips and word usage advice in your inbox. Subscribe here .

©2025–This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership
to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your next dinner party.

a man and a parrot

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

Years ago, a man boards a planeGETS ON AN AIRCRAFT and is surprised to find a parrot strapped inFASTENED WITH A SEATBELT to the seat next to his. Not in a cage — just sitting there like a regular traveller.

Once in the air, the stewardessFEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT comes by. The man politely asks, “Could I have a coffee, please?”

The parrot squawksSCREAMS HARSHLY LIKE A BIRD, “And bring me a whisky, you uselessNO GOOD; NOT HELPFUL pigeon!”

Slightly rattledSHAKEN OR NERVOUS, the stewardess brings the parrot its whisky… but forgets the coffee.

The man reminds her gently, “Excuse me — I asked for a coffee?”

The parrot slamsDRINKS QUICKLY AND FORCEFULLY its drink back and screechesSHOUTS IN A LOUD AND HARSH VOICE, “Make it a double this time, you walking delay!”

FlusteredCONFUSED AND EMBARRASSED, the stewardess returns with another whisky… still no coffee.

Fed upTIRED AND ANNOYED, the man snapsSPEAKS ANGRILY WITHOUT THINKING: “This is ridiculous! I’ve asked twice! Get me my coffee, you incompetent twitSILLY OR STUPID PERSON — or I’ll come get it myself!”

Seconds later, two enormous security guards appear out of nowhere, grabTAKE HOLD OF SUDDENLY both the man and the parrot, and eject them mid-airIN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLIGHT.

As they’re plummetingFALLING QUICKLY AND SUDDENLY, the parrot turns to the man and says, “You’ve got gutsCOURAGE OR BRAVERY, palA SLANG WORD THAT MEANS "FRIEND". Stupid — but gutsyWITH A LOT OF COURAGE OR BRAVERY.”

You do know how to fly, right?YOU KNOW HOW TO FLY, DO YOU NOT?

---

In this joke, let's look at three useful expressions: rattled, flustered, and plummeting. To be rattled means to be nervous or shaken up. Flustered means confused and upset, especially in a social situation. To plummet means to fall very quickly and suddenly.

•  She looked rattled after the argument.

•  The waiter got flustered when everyone ordered at once.

•  The price of petrol plummeted overnight.

---

This joke uses the past continuous tense to describe actions that were in the midst of happening in the past, such as "was falling" and "were drinking." It also uses direct speech to show exactly what the characters said. The past continuous is useful for setting the scene and showing ongoing actions in the past.

•  They were drinking cooldrinks on the patio when the rain began.

•  He was falling through the air when he remembered his parachute.

•  She shouted, "Where's my luggage?"

---

---

Sign up for our word of the day to receive vocabulary tips and word usage advice in your inbox. Subscribe here .

©2025–This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership
to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your next dinner party.

cop and speeding biker

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

A Ladybrand Highway Patrol officer pulls over a Harley riderSTOPS A PERSON RIDING A HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORBIKE for speedingDRIVING FASTER THAN THE SPEED LIMIT and asks for his name.

“Sipho,” the old biker replies.

“Sipho what?” the officer inquires.

“Just Sipho,” the man responds.

In a good mood and considering letting the biker off with a warning, the officer presses, “Come on, what’s your last nameFAMILY NAME OR SURNAME?”

The old man sighs and says, “I used to have a last name, but I lost it.”

The officer, now curious and slightly amused, decides to play along. “Okay, Sipho, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker leans back and begins his taleLONG OR IMAGINATIVE STORY. “Well, it’s a long story. I was born Sipho Johnson. I worked hard in school, got good marksSCORES RECEIVED FOR SCHOOLWORK, and eventually earnedRECEIVED AS A RESULT OF EFFORT my degree and became Sipho Johnson, MDMEDICAL DOCTOR.

“But after some time, being a doctor became dullBORING; NOT EXCITING, so I returned to university and became a dentist. Then I was Sipho Johnson, MD, DDSDOCTOR OF DENTAL SURGERY.

“Things were going well until I started fooling aroundHAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS OUTSIDE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP with my assistant, and she gave me VDVENEREAL DISEASE; SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTION. So I was Sipho Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

“The ADAAMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION found out about the VD and took away my DDS, so I was just Sipho Johnson, MD, with VD.

“Then the AMAAMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION got involved, and they removed my MD, so I became Sipho Johnson with VD.

“Finally, the VD took away my JohnsonSLANG FOR PENIS, and that’s how I became… Just Sipho.”

The officer walked away, laughing so hard he had tearsDROPS OF WATER FROM THE EYES FROM STRONG EMOTION in his eyes.

---

In this joke, let's look at three useful expressions: pulls over, fooling around, and earned. To pull someone over means to make a vehicle stop, especially by police. Fooling around means engaging in sexual activity without seriousness. Earned refers to receiving something (like a degree or money) through effort or work.

•  The police pulled over the taxi for a broken light.

•  He was fooling around with someone at the office.

•  She earned a diploma in biology last year.

---

This joke uses the past simple tense to describe completed actions in the past, such as “worked,” “got,” “became,” and “took away.” It also uses direct speech to show exactly what the characters say. Direct speech adds humour and character, while the past simple keeps the story clear and chronological.

•  He worked hard and got excellent results.

•  She became a dentist after many years of study.

•  “I lost it,” he said.

---

---

Sign up for our word of the day to receive vocabulary tips and word usage advice in your inbox. Subscribe here .

©2025–This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership
to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your next dinner party.

law degree at an advanced age

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

An old man was illNOT IN GOOD HEALTH and in critical condition. Feeling that deathTHE END OF LIFE was near, he called for his lawyer.

"I want to become a lawyer," he said. "How much is itWHAT IS THE COST for the express degreeACADEMIC QUALIFICATION you told me about?"

"It's €50,000," the lawyer replied. "But why? You'll be gone soon—why would you want to become a lawyer now?"

"That's my businessIT'S A PRIVATE MATTER! Just get me the course."

Four days later, the old man received his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedsideNEXT TO HIS BED, making sure his billINVOICE FOR SERVICES would be paid.

Suddenly, the old man was rackedVIOLENTLY AFFECTED with fits of coughingFORCIBLY EXPELLING AIR. It was clear the end had come.

Still curious, the lawyer leaned overBENT FORWARD and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me—why did you want to get a law degree so badly?"

In a faint whisperA VERY QUIET VOICE, as he breathed his last, the old man replied, "One less lawyerFEWER LAWYERS IN THE WORLD..."

---

In this joke, let’s focus on the following expressions: bedside, racked, and a faint whisper. These terms help us describe physical location, emotional or physical intensity, and the tone of someone's voice.

•  The nurse stayed by the patient’s bedside all night.

•  She was racked with guilt after the accident.

•  He gave his answer in a faint whisper, barely audible.

---

This joke uses the past simple tense to narrate a sequence of events, such as “he called,” “he said,” and “he received.” It also includes examples of direct speech to present dialogue between the characters.

•  He called his lawyer as soon as he felt worse.

•  She said, "Let’s go now."

•  They received the documents yesterday.

---

---

Sign up for our word of the day to receive vocabulary tips and word usage advice in your inbox. Subscribe here .

©2025–This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership
to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your next dinner party.

the young lady and the priest

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

A young lady A POLITE TERM FOR A YOUNG WOMAN was visiting Rome for the first time. Drawn to the magnificence GRANDEUR OR SPLENDID APPEARANCE of a beautiful cathedral, she decided to enter and admire the famous stained glass COLOURED GLASS USED FOR DECORATIVE WINDOWS windows.

As she approached the entrance, a priest A RELIGIOUS LEADER IN THE CHRISTIAN CHURCH with a kind but serious expression stopped her. "Excuse me, Miss," he said, raising his hand. "I can't allow you to enter dressed like that."

The young woman looked confused. "Like what? My dress is modest NOT REVEALING OR ATTRACTING ATTENTION."

The priest cleared his throat awkwardly. "It's not the dress... you're not wearing a bra A FORM-FITTING UNDERGARMENT DESIGNED TO SUPPORT A WOMAN'S BREASTS. I can't let you in like that."

"Seriously?" she replied angrily. "I have a divine right GOD-GIVEN ENTITLEMENT ✴ DROIT HUMAIN!"

The priest responded: "A divine left too, Miss – but you still can't come in."

---

In this joke, let's examine three useful expressions: magnificence, stained glass, and modest. Magnificence refers to grand or splendid appearance. Stained glass is coloured glass used for decorative windows. Modest describes clothing that doesn't reveal too much.

•  The palace was known for its magnificence.

•  The church's stained glass windows depicted biblical scenes.

•  She chose a modest outfit for the formal event.

---

This joke uses the past continuous tense ("was visiting") to set the scene and direct speech for the conversation. The past continuous describes ongoing actions in the past, while direct speech makes the dialogue immediate and engaging. Notice how the punchline plays with the double meaning of "right."

•  She was visiting Rome when this incident occurred.

•  The priest said, "I can't allow you to enter like that."

•  She argued, "I have a divine right!"

---

How to Share on Instagram

Instagram doesn't support direct link sharing. Here's what you can do:

1. Take a screenshot of this page or the content you'd like to share.
2. Open the Instagram app on your phone.
3. Post the screenshot to your Story or Feed.
4. Optionally, add the website link in your bio and mention it in the post.

---

© 2025 — This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your next dinner party. You can also sign up for our word of the day [a vocabulary blog] to receive words, expressions tips and word usage in your inbox.

smoking for love

Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

Every day, Sipho A COMMON MALE NAME IN SOUTH AFRICA was smoking INHALING BURNT TOBACCO two cigarettes THIN ROLLS OF TOBACCO FOR SMOKING at the same time. Eventually, one of his friends asked, "Why are you always smoking two cigarettes at once?"

Sipho replied, "My brother is in prison A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE ARE KEPT AS PUNISHMENT, and he asked me to smoke a cigarette for him every time I smoke one for myself."

A few weeks later, his friend saw Sipho smoking INHALING BURNT TOBACCO only one cigarette. Surprised, the friend asked, "Did your brother get out of prison?"

Sipho shook his head and said, "No, I just quit STOPPED DOING SOMETHING smoking."

---

In this joke, let's look at three useful expressions: smoke, prison, and quit. To smoke means to inhale the fumes of burning tobacco from a cigarette. A prison is a place where people are kept as punishment for a crime. To quit means to stop doing something.

•  Many people smoke cigarettes, even though it is unhealthy.

•  He went to prison for stealing money.

•  She quit her job to travel around Europe.

---

This joke uses the past simple tense to describe events that happened in the past, such as “was smoking,” “asked,” and “replied.” It also uses direct speech to show exactly what the characters said, making the story more vivid and funny.

•  He was smoking two cigarettes at once.

•  His friend asked him about it.

•  Sipho replied, "My brother is in prison."

---

How to Share on Instagram

Instagram doesn't support direct link sharing. Here's what you can do:

1. Take a screenshot of this page or the content you'd like to share.
2. Open the Instagram app on your phone.
3. Post the screenshot to your Story or Feed.
4. Optionally, add the website link in your bio and mention it in the post.

---

© 2025 — This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your next dinner party. You can also sign up for our word of the day [a vocabulary blog] to receive words, expressions tips and word usage in your inbox.