Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
An Amish husband, his wife, and their son travelled to the city one day. They visited a shopping mallCENTRE COMMERCIAL, and while the mother was shopping, the father and son stood in front of a liftASCENSEUR, not knowing what it was.
As they stood with their mouths open, an elderlyLES PERSONNES ÂGÉES lady walked into the automatic silver doors. The doors closed. The father and son watched as the numbers went up and then down.
When the doors opened, a beautiful young woman walked out. The father looked at his son and said, "SonFILS, go get your mother!"
Vocabulary
mall: Large building with shops inside.
lift: Machine to move people between floors.
elderly: Old person.
They stood in front of the liftASCENSEUR.
An elderlyLES PERSONNES ÂGÉES lady entered the doors.
The family went to the mallCENTRE COMMERCIAL.
Grammar
The joke uses past simple to narrate events and direct speech for dialogue.
Past simple: They travelled, the doors closed, the numbers went up — actions completed in the past.
Direct speech: Words spoken by characters appear inside quotation marks.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
[1]
A husband and wife are trying to
set upCONFIGURER a new
passwordMOT DE PASSE for their laptop.
The husband types “My-PeNiS”, at which point his wife
bursts out laughingÉCLATE DE RIRE and falls off the chair, as the screen
displaysAFFICHE: “It is
not long enoughPAS ASSEZ LONG.”
[2]
Two fish are in a tankCHAR D’ASSAUT ↔ RÉSERVOIR. One turns to the other and asks: “Do you know how to driveCONDUIRE this thing?”
[3]
A childENFANT asked his father: “How were people bornNÉS?” The father replied: “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies grew up and made more babies, and so on.” The child then asked his mother the same question, and she said: “We were monkeysSINGES, then we evolvedÉVOLUÉ to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and exclaimed: “You lied to me!” The father responded: “No, your mum was talking about her side of the family.”
[4]
A teacherENSEIGNANT asked her studentsÉLÈVES to use the word “beansHARICOTS” in a sentence. One girl said: “My father grows beans.” A boy added: “My mother cooks beans.” A third student chimed in: “We are all human beans.”
[5]
Why don’t scientistsSCIENTIFIQUES trust atomsATOMES? Because they make upINVENTER ↔ CONSTITUER everything.
[6]
A lawyerAVOCAT and a doctorMÉDECIN were chatting at a party. The doctor said: “At parties, people always ask me for medical adviceCONSEILS MÉDICAUX.” The lawyer replied: “Send them a billFACTURE the next day.” The doctor thought it was a brilliant idea—until the next morning, when he received a bill from the lawyer.
Vocabulary
set up: To configure or arrange something so it works.
password: A secret word or phrase used to gain access.
burst out laughing: To suddenly start laughing.
display: To show information on a screen.
They tried to set upCONFIGURER a new password.
The screen displayedAFFICHÉ an error message.
His wife burst out laughingÉCLATA DE RIRE.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses the present continuous and past simple.
Present continuous: “are trying” — describes an action in progress.
Past simple: “typed”, “laughed”, “fell” — completed actions.
It + adjective + enough: “It is not long enough” — common structure for limits or sufficiency.
Synonyms & Alternatives
set up: configure, arrange
burst out laughing: crack up, start laughing suddenly
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy were crossing the Atlantic on an aeroplane when the engines failed. They franticallyFRÉNÉTIQUEMENT looked for and found three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabbedS'EMPARA the first parachute and jumped out of the plane, saying, “The world needs a great person like me!”
Joe Biden took another and said, “I need to help make choices for our world,” before jumping out as wellÀ SON TOUR.
At that point, only the Pope and the little boy remained on the planePOUR LES TRANSPORTS EN COMMUN, ON DIT 'ON', PAS 'IN'.
The Pope said, “Take the last parachute, my son. I am an old man and will die soon anyway.”
The boy smiled and replied, “ActuallyEN FAIT, there are two left. Donald Trump took my knapsackSAC À DOS.”
Vocabulary
parachute: Device to slow down a fall through the air.
frantically: In a wild or desperate way.
knapsack: Small bag carried on the back.
They searched franticallyFRÉNÉTIQUEMENT for a parachute.
Trump grabbedS'EMPARE the first one he saw.
The little boy’s knapsackSAC À DOS was mistaken for one.
Grammar
The joke uses past simple to narrate events and direct speech for the dialogue.
Past simple: They looked, he jumped, she said — used for completed actions in the past.
Direct speech: Actual spoken words appear inside inverted commas.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
The preacherpasteur, in his Sunday
sermonsermon, used
“Forgive Your Enemiespardonnez vos ennemis”
as his subject.
After a long sermon, he asked how many were
willing to forgivedisposés à pardonner
their enemies. About half
raised their handslevèrent la main.
Not satisfied, he haranguedil harangua
the congregation for another twenty minutes and repeated the question.
This time, nearly eighty per cent responded.
Still unsatisfied, he lecturedil fit la leçon
for another fifteen minutes. Everyone responded — except one
elderlyâgée
lady sitting in the rearau fond.
“Mrs Jones, are you not willing
to forgiveà pardonner
your enemies?” asked the preacher.
“I don’t have any,” she replied.
Curious, the preacher invited her forward. The little lady
tottered down the aisledescendit l’allée en chancelant,
turned to face the congregation, and said:
“It’s easy — I just
outlivedai survécu à
the
bastardssalauds.”
Vocabulary
harangue: speak forcefully or at length
totter: walk unsteadily
outlive: live longer than someone else
He continued his harangueharangue despite the silence.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple for narration and reported questions for structure.
Past simple: He lectured for another fifteen minutes.
Reported question: He asked how many were willing to forgive.
