Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
Une compilation d’attaques humoristiques célèbres de l’époque des primaires et de la campagne 2016. Ton satirique, parfois provocateur — idéal pour étudier le registre informel, l’ironie et le vocabulaire politique en anglais.
Chris Rock: “(Donald Trump) might winPOURRAIT GAGNER. He’s got enough ex-wives to vote for him.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “The closest Trump ever got to battle was his fight with Rosie O’Donnell.”
Marco Rubio: “Donald Trump likes to suePOURSUIVRE EN JUSTICE people. He should suePOURSUIVRE EN JUSTICEwhoeverQUICONQUE ↔ CELUI QUI did that to his face.”
Marco Rubio: “A guy with the worst spray tanLE BRONZAGE AU SPRAY LE PLUS MOCHE in America is attacking me for putting on makeupMAQUILLAGE.”
Jay Leno: “The good news? President Obama was born in America. The bad news? so was TrumpTRUMP AUSSI).”
Stephen Colbert: “I do think Donald Trump is honest in his own wayÀ SA FAÇON ↔ D'UNE CERTAINE MANIÈRE. He is honestly an egomaniacalÉGOMANE ↔ MÉGALOMANE billionaire.”
John Oliver: “Miss USA, for example, is owned by Donald Trump — a clown made of mummified foreskinPRÉPUCE MOMIFIÉ and cotton candyBARBE À PAPA.”
Mitt Romney: “Donald Trump has had several foreignÉTRANGÈRES wives. It turns out thatIL S'AVÈRE QUE ↔ ON DIRAIT QUE there really are jobs Americans won’t doNE VEULENT PAS FAIRE.”
Albert Brooks: “Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for presidentSE PRÉSENTER À LA PRÉSIDENCE. His hair will announce on Friday.”
Jimmy Kimmel: “If Donald Trump wins, my guess isJE PARIE QUE ↔ À MON AVIS America will look a lot like it did in ‘Back to the Future 2,’ when Biff was in chargeAU POUVOIR ↔ AUX COMMANDES.”
🔍 Vocabulary
Focus sur les expressions clés récurrentes dans ces roasts politiques : Sue = poursuivre en justice / intenter un procès In his own way = à sa manière / d'une certaine façon (souvent ironique) It turns out that = il s'avère que / en fait Run for president = se présenter à la présidence In charge = au pouvoir / aux commandes My guess is = je parie que / à mon avis (prédiction informelle)
Autres mots marquants : spray tan (bronzage artificiel), makeup (maquillage), egomaniacal (égomane/mégalomaniaque), foreign (étranger/étrangère).
He likes to sue anyone who criticizes him.
She's successful in her own way.
It turns out that he was right all along.
She plans to run for president next year.
📘 Grammar
Ces blagues utilisent souvent :
- Le modal might pour exprimer une possibilité ironique ("might win").
- Le future simple "will" pour des prédictions moqueuses ("His hair will announce", "America will look").
- Structures comparatives et ironiques ("the worst…", "the closest… ever").
- Inversion sarcastique ("so was Donald Trump") pour tourner en dérision.
- Discours direct et informel, avec beaucoup d’hyperbole et de punchlines courtes.
Le ton repose sur l’ironie, l’exagération et des références culturelles (Back to the Future, birther controversy).
He might win if his ex-wives vote for him.
My guess is things will get worse.
The closest he ever got to danger was an argument.
So was his opponent — born right here.
🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives
Might win: could win, may win, has a shot at winning Sue: take to court, file a lawsuit against In his own way: in his fashion, after his fashion, uniquely It turns out that: apparently, as it happens, funnily enough Run for president: campaign for president, stand for president (UK), seek the presidency In charge: running the show, calling the shots, holding power
💬 Mini Dialogue (exemple inspiré du style roast)
Friend 1: My guess is that guy might win the election. Friend 2: Really? He should sue whoever did that to his face first! Friend 1: Haha, and he's honest in his own way… an egomaniacal way. Friend 2: It turns out there are jobs even he won’t do — like admitting he's wrong. Friend 1: If he gets in charge, it'll look like a bad movie sequel.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
So, a job interviewerINTERVIEWEUR
asked the candidate, "How do explain this four-year
gapÉCART
on your résuméCV?"
The intervieweeCANDIDAT
replied, "That's because I went to Yale."
The interviewer exclaimed, "Oh, that's impressive!
You are hired!VOUS ÊTES EMBAUCHÉ !"
The intervieweeCANDIDAT
responded, "Thanks! I really needed this yob."
🔍 Vocabulary
In this joke, let's look at gap, résumé, and hired. Gap refers to an empty or missing period, often in employment or education history. Résumé is a document summarising a person's education, work experience, and skills. Hired means officially offered a job or position.
There was a gap in her employment history due to travel.
She updated her résumé before applying for the job.
He was hired after a successful interview.
📘 Grammar
This joke uses the past simple tense for actions like "asked," "replied," and "exclaimed." It also employs direct speech to capture the dialogue between the interviewer and interviewee. The word "yob" is a deliberate mispronunciation for humour, mimicking the sound of "job."
The interviewer asked about the candidate's experience.
"I went to Yale," the interviewee replied.
The interviewer exclaimed, "You're hired!"
🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives
Gap: break, hiatus Résumé: CV, curriculum vitae Hired: employed, recruited
💬 Mini Dialogue
Manager: I noticed a three-year gap on your CV. Can you explain it? Candidate: I took time off to study at a prestigious university. Manager: That's impressive! You're hired for the role. Candidate: Thank you! I'm excited to start this job. Manager: Great, welcome to the team!
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
A man walks into a librarybibliothèque and asks the librarianbibliothécaire, “Do you have any books on paranoia?” The librarian whisperschuchote, “They’re right behind you…”
The man laughs nervously, checks over his shoulderregarde par-dessus son épaule, and says, “Okay, good one. Actuallyen fait ↔ en réalité, I’m looking for books on how to deal with delusions of grandeurdélire de grandeur.”
The librarianbibliothécairenodshoche la tête and says, “Yes, Your HighnessVotre Altesse, we keep those in the royal section on the third floortroisième étage, next to the thronetrône.”
The man chucklesricane and says, “Never mindlaissez tomber, I’ll come back later. Right now I need a book on overcomingsurmonter procrastination.”
The librarian looks him dead in the eyedroit dans les yeux and says, “It’ll be ready tomorrow.”
Frustrated, he says, “Fine. Just give me something on eternal happiness.” So she hands him a mirrorElle lui tend un miroir.
He looks in it, frownsfronce les sourcils, and says, “This is broken.” She replies, “Sir, that’s not a book, that’s the self-help sectionrayon développement personnel.”
At this point he’s completely fed upen a marre ↔ excédé. He slams his fist on the countertape du poing sur le comptoir and shouts, “I want to speak to the manager!”
The librarian leans inse penche vers lui calmly and says, “Sir… I am the manager. I’m also the only employee, the security guard and, because of budget cutsréductions budgétaires, technically I’m you as well. You’ve been talking to yourself for fifteen minutes. Your library card expired in 2017 and you still owedevez £4.90 in late feesfrais de retard for a copy of ‘How to Make Friends and Influence Librarians.’”
The man blinkscligne des yeux, slowly backs awayrecule, and whispersmurmure, “This is why I only use the internet.”
The librarian smiles sweetly and says, “That’ll be £4.90, please. Cash only. The Wi-Fi’s been watching you too.”
Vocabulary
delusions of grandeur: believing one is more important than one really is
budget cuts: reductions in available money
late fees: charges for returning something after the due date
He suffers from delusions of grandeurdélire de grandeur and thinks he’s royalty.
The council made severe budget cutsréductions budgétaires this year.
I still owedevoir £12 in late feesfrais de retard at the library.
Grammar
The joke mixes direct speech (exact words in quotation marks) and narrative past tense.
Direct speech: “They’re right behind you…” whisperschuchote the librarian.
Past continuous for longer actions: “You’ve been talking to yourself…” (= you started in the past and it’s still relevant).
Present perfect for unfinished actions: “Your card has expireda expiré” / “you still owedevez encore £4.90”.
Librarian: It was due three months ago. You owedevez £18 in late feesfrais de retard.
Customer: £18?! That’s ridiculous!
Librarian: Don’t worry, sir. Because of budget cutsréductions budgétaires we’re very understanding… you can pay in instalments over the next ten years.
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A man walking along a road in the countryside comes acrossTOMBE SUR | RENCONTRE PAR HASARD a shepherdBERGER and a huge flockTROUPEAU DE MOUTONS of sheep.
He stops to rest, and says to the shepherd, “I will betPARIER | MISER SUR you $200 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.”
The shepherd thinks about it. It’s a big flock, so he accepts the betPARI.
The man looks around and answers, “869 and a half. There's a little lambAGNEAU as well.” The shepherd is astonishedSTUPÉFAIT | ÉTONNÉ, because that is exactly right.
The shepherd says, “Okay, I’m a man of my wordJE TIENS MA PAROLE, take an animal.” The man picks one up and begins to walk away.
“Wait,” shouts the shepherdCRIE LE BERGER, “let me have a chance to get evenSE VENGER. Double or nothing that I can guessDEVINER your exact occupationMÉTIER | PROFESSION.” The man agrees.
“You are an accountantCOMPTABLE for the government,” says the shepherd.
“Amazing!” responds the man. “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you find that answer?”
“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dogPOSE MON CHIEN (À TERRE) and I will tell you.”
Vocabulary
Flock: a large group of sheep.
Shepherd: a person who takes care of sheep.
Bet: an agreement to risk money on the result of something.
The man saw a huge flockTROUPEAU of sheep.
The shepherdBERGER accepted the betPARI.
The punchline involves a dogCHIEN (sheepdog) mistaken for a sheep.
Grammar
The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events and direct speech to report the exact words of the characters.
Past simple: The man stopped to rest and said to the shepherd.
Direct speech: “I will bet you $200,” he said.
Future with will: “I will tell you the exact number.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Shepherd: sheepherder, flocksman.
Bet: wager, gamble (verb/noun).
Occupation: job, profession, line of work.
Astonished: amazed, shocked, stunned.
Mini Dialogue
Stranger: I’ll betPARIER you I can tell the exact number of sheep in your flockTROUPEAU!
Shepherd: Okay, let’s make it $200 against one sheep.
Stranger: 869!
Shepherd: Wow… take one. Wait—double or nothing: I can guessDEVINER your occupationMÉTIER!
Stranger: Go ahead.
Shepherd: You’re a government accountant… now put down my dogPOSE MON CHIEN and I’ll explain!
