Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
Little Johnny came downstairsest descendu crying. His mother saw his tearslarmes and became worried.
“What’s the matterqu’est-ce qu’il y a, Johnny?” she asked.
Johnny tried to stop crying. “Dad was hanging picturesaccrochait des photos, and he hit his thumbpouce with the hammermarteau!”
His mother felt toucheda été émue that Johnny cared so much, but she didn’t like seeing him cry.
“That’s not so serious,” she said softlydit-elle doucement. “I know you feel upsetbouleversé, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cryne devrait pas pleurer about something like that. It’s something people usually laughrire about.”
Johnny wiped his eyess’est essuyé les yeux and said, “I did laughai ri!”
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
A short guy was walking in a hookers' streetRUE DES PROSTITUÉES. Everybody could see he was very shyTIMIDE. He saw a nice-looking hookerPROSTITUÉE sitting on a stoolUN TABOURET, so he stopped and looked at her with interest.
She noticed his lack of confidenceMANQUE DE CONFIANCE, obviously because he was too shortPETIT, so she told him, “Don’t worry, mine fits all sizesLE MIEN CONVIENT À TOUTES LES TAILLES.”
So the guyGARS smiled and asked her, “How much?COMBIEN ?” She replied, “For you it'll be €90.” So he gave her the money, took the stoolPRIT LE TABOURET, and left.
Vocabulary
hookers' street: an area where prostitutes work
a stool: a simple seat without a backrest
lack of confidence: insecurity or self-doubt
mine fits all sizes: humorous phrase suggesting inclusivity or adaptability
He walked nervously along the hookers' streetPUIS-JE DEMANDER.
She sat on a stoolPUIS-JE DEMANDER outside the bar.
His lack of confidencePUIS-JE DEMANDER made him stutter.
Grammar
The joke uses the past simple tense and direct speech.
Past simple: He saw a nice-looking hooker.
Direct speech: She told him, “Don’t worry, mine fits all sizes.”
Synonyms & Alternatives
Shy: timid, bashful, reserved
Short: small, petite, little
Hooker: prostitute, sex worker, escort
Mini Dialogue
Colin (HR): We need to hire someone taller for the front desk.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointmentrendez-vous with a new dentist. I noticed her DMD diplomadiplôme de dentiste on the wall, which displayed her full name. Suddenly I remembered a tall, sexy, dark-haired girlfille with the same name who’d beenqui avait été in my high schoollycée class some 30-odd years agoenviron 30 ans plus tôt. Could this be the same galfille I’d had a secret, burning crushcoup de cœur on back then?
When she came in, howevercependant, I quickly discardedabandonnai any such thought. This grey-hairedaux cheveux gris woman with sagging breastsseins qui tombent was far too old to have been my classmatecamarade de classe.
After she examined my teeth, I asked if she had attendedfréquenté Maryville High School.
“As a matter of factEn effet… yes, I did. I'm a Red Rebel,” she said, gleaming with priderayonnante de fierté.
“When did you graduateobtenir ton diplôme?” I asked.
“In 1979. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!” I exclaimedm'écriai-je.
She looked at me closely. Then that ageingvieillissante, old, wrinkle-facedcouverte de rides, grey-haired, decrepit woman with sagging boobsnénés qui tombent asked, “What did you teach?”
Vocabulary
DMD diploma: Doctor of Dental Medicine degree
crush: strong romantic attraction (colloquial)
gleaming with pride: shining ↔ beaming because of pride
sagging breasts ↔ sagging boobs: breasts that have lost firmness (due to age)
I have an appointmentrendez-vous with the dentist tomorrow.
He had a huge crushcoup de cœur on her in secondary school.
She was gleaming with priderayonnante de fierté when her son graduated.
Grammar
1. Past perfect for earlier past events: “who’d ↔ who had been in my class”, “I’d had ↔ I had had a secret crush”.
2. Reported questions (no inversion, no question mark): “I asked if she had attended…”, “Why do you ask?” → indirect: She asked why I asked.
3. Exclamations: “You were in my class!” I exclaimed.
By the time I arrived, the film had already started.
He asked me where I had been the night before.
Synonyms & Alternatives
crush: infatuation, puppy love, a thing for someone
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
A hugeénorme, muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartenderle barman keeps
staringle fixa du regard, because even though the man has a giant body, his head is only the size of an orange.
The bartender gives him the beer and says, “I’m not trying to be
weirdbizarre, but your muscles are
amazingimpressionnants! I just have to ask—why is your head so small?”
The big man sighssoupira. He’s clearly heard this question many times.
“One day,” he says, “I was out
huntingje chassais and got lost in
the woodsla forêt. I heard someone crying for help.
I followed the sound and found a frogune grenouille sitting by a
streamruisseau.”
“No way,” says the bartender.
“Yeah. I picked up the frog, and it said, ‘Kiss me, and I will turn into
a genieun génie and give you three wishes.’”
“Go onpoursuis!”
“So I looked around to make sure no one was watching, and I kissed the frog. POOF!
It turned into a beautiful,
nakednue woman.”
“She said, ‘You now have three wishes.’”
“I looked at my skinnymaigre 115-pound body and said, 'I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger.' She noddedhocha la tête, snapped her fingers, and POOF!
I was so huge I ripped right out of my clothes.”
“She asked, ‘What is your second wish?’”
“What happened next?” asks the bartender.
“I looked at her and said, ‘I want to make love to youfaire l’amour avec toi right here.’
She agreed, lay down, and we made love by the stream for hours.”
“After we were done, she whisperedelle murmura, ‘You still have one more wish. What will it be?’”
“I looked at her and said, ‘How about a little headau sens propre ↔ une petite tête · au sens figuré ↔ une petite gâterie?’”
Vocabulary
stream: a small narrow river
genie: a magical spirit who grants wishes
naked: without clothes
head: bl°wj°b
The frog sat by a streamruisseau.
The frog turned into a genieun génie.
She was beautiful and nakednue.
He looked at her and said "How about a little headune p'tite pipe?"
Grammar
The joke uses past continuous and direct speech with British punctuation (commas outside quotes unless part of speech).
Past continuous: The bartender kept staringfixait du regard → action in progress.
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.
A class of students is taking a difficult exampasse un examen difficile. The teacher says, “Time’s upLe temps est écoulé. I want you to stop writing and hand in your tests.”
All the students stop — except one guygars ↔ type. He keeps on writingcontinue d’écrire. The teacher warns himle met en garde, “Stop now, or I won’t accept your paper!” But the student carries on writing for another ten minutes.
Finally he stands up and walks to the teacher.
The teacher says, “No. You finished late. I will not take your test.”
The student looks at him and asks, “Do you know who I am?Savez-vous qui je suis ?”
The teacher replies, “No, I don’t.”
The student smilessourit, walks over to the huge pile of testspile d’examens, slips his own paper right in the middleau milieu, mixesmélange them all up, turns to the teacher and says, “Good!” before leaving the roomquitter la salle.
Vocabulary
guy — bloke, lad, chap, fellow
time's up — the allowed time has finished
pile of tests — large stack of exam papers
mixes (them) up — shuffles, jumbles, stirs together
Grammar
• Present continuous for actions happening at the moment of the story: “is taking”, “keeps on writing”, “is warning”.
• Direct speech punctuation (British style): full stop inside quotation marks only when it belongs to the spoken sentence.
Synonyms & Alternatives
keeps on writing → carries on writing, continues writing
warns him → tells him off, threatens him
mixes → shuffles, jumbles
Mini Dialogue
Teacher: Time's up! Pens down!
Student: Just one more minute, sir!
Teacher: No! Hand it in now or you get noughtzéro.
