eight one-liners

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Learn English With Jokes
mosotho woman laughing like she has just heard the funniest joke in the village
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  1. I met a DutchFrom the Netherlands girl with inflatableThat can be filled with air shoes last week. I phoned her to arrange a dateA romantic meeting, but sadly she'd popped her clogs*She had died.
    Peter Kay
  2. I can hear music coming from my printerA machine that prints documents. I think the paper's jammin'*The paper is stuck (and it's a music joke) again.
    Anonymous
  3. I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matterRegardless of ✴ in spite of how foolish they are or how superior I am to them.
    Steve Martin
  4. Twenty years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no CashNo money (and no Johnny Cash), no HopeNo optimism (and no Bob Hope), and no JobsNo work (and no Steve Jobs). Please don't let Kevin Bacon dieStop living.
    Bill Murray
  5. I dislike it when new parents ask who the baby looks likeHas a similar appearance to. It was bornCame into the world fifteen minutes ago – it looks like a potato.
    Will Ferrell
  6. Are there any medium rappersHip-hop singers, like Snoop Dogg, for example? They're always big or lilShort for "little".
    Anonymous
  7. VegetariansPeople who do not eat meat, if you love animals so much, then why do you keep eatingContinue to consume all their food?
    Anonymous
  8. My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep withWe are allowed to have sex with. She read hers aloud and there were no surprises... (a) George Clooney, (b) Denzel Washington, (c) Brad Pitt, etc. I thought to myself, I've got the better dealMy choice is better and more advantageous here: (a) Your sister...
    Michael McIntyre
In these one-liner jokes, let's look at three useful expressions: inflatable, jammin’, and popped her clogs. Inflatable means something that can be filled with air. Jammin’ is a pun: it refers both to stuck paper and to music. To pop one’s clogs is an informal British expression meaning to die.
•  He floated down the river in an inflatable boat.
•  My printer is jammin’ again — time to call IT*, methinks.
•  Sadly, our neighbour popped his clogs last night.
These jokes use the present simple for general truths and beliefs (e.g. "I believe in equality"), and the past perfect ("she’d popped her clogs") to show a completed action before another. We also see the use of direct speech and clever wordplay for humour.
•  I believe in fairness for all.
•  By the time I arrived, she had already left.
•  He said, "I think it looks like a potato."

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©2025–This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your wedding, your next dinner party, or braaivleis, or bar mitzvah. Drop your favourite clean joke in the comment section and we'll happily share it.

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a husband with a temper

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Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer A woman goes to the doctor's, worried about her husband's temper MOOD OR EMOTIONAL STATE . The doctor asks, "What is the problem?" The woman says, "Doctor, I do not know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper BECOME ANGRY SUDDENLY for no reason. It scares me IT MAKES ME AFRAID ." The doctor says, "I have a solution for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry FEELING OR SHOWING STRONG UNHAPPINESS OR ANNOYANCE , just take a glass of water and start swishing MOVING LIQUID AROUND IN YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT SWALLOWING it in your mouth. Just swish MOVE LIQUID AROUND IN YOUR MOUTH and swish, but do not swallow CAUSE TO GO DOWN THE THROAT INTO THE STOMACH it until he either leaves the room or calms down." Two weeks later, the woman comes ...
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