one-liners (1)

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1. I met a DutchDES PAYS-BAS girl with inflatableQUI PEUT ÊTRE GONFLÉ shoes last week. I phoned her to arrange a dateRENDEZ-VOUS ROMANTIQUE, but sadly she'd popped her clogs^*ELLE ÉTAIT MORTE.
   Peter Kay
2. I can hear music coming from my printerIMPRIMANTE. I think the paper's jammin'^*LE PAPIER EST BLOQUÉ (ET C’EST UNE BLAGUE MUSICALE) again.
   Anonymous
3. I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matterPEU IMPORTE / MÊME SI how foolish they are or how superior I am to them.
   Steve Martin
4. Twenty years ago, we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no CashPAS D’ARGENT (ET PAS DE JOHNNY CASH), no HopePAS D’ESPOIR (ET PAS DE BOB HOPE), and no JobsPAS DE TRAVAIL (ET PAS DE STEVE JOBS). Please don't let Kevin Bacon dieMOURIR.
   Bill Murray
5. I dislike it when new parents ask who the baby looks likeRESSEMBLE À. It was bornNÉ fifteen minutes ago – it looks like a potato.
   Will Ferrell
6. Are there any medium rappersCHANTEURS DE RAP? They're always big or li'lPETIT (ABRÉGÉ).
   Anonymous
7. VegetariansVÉGÉTARIENS, if you love animals so much, then why do you keep eatingMANGER ENCORE / CONTINUER À MANGER all their food?
   Anonymous
8. My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep withAVEC QUI ON PEUT COUCHER. She read hers aloud and there were no surprises...
   (a) George Clooney
   (b) Denzel Washington
   (c) Brad Pitt
   ...etc.
   
   I thought to myself, I've got the better dealJ’AI FAIT LE MEILLEUR CHOIX here:
   (a) Your sister...
   Michael McIntyre
9. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the gutsTRIPES / COURAGE.
   Anonymous
10. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydivingSAUT EN PARACHUTE isn’t for you.
    Steven Wright
11. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingoFLAMANT ROSE. I had to put my foot downIMPOSER MA DÉCISION.
    Anonymous
12. Don't you hateDÉTESTER it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
    Anonymous
13. I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
    Jerome K. Jerome
14. Why do they call it rush hourHEURE DE POINTE when nothing moves?
    Robin Williams
15. I’m not superstitious … but I am a little stitious.
    Michael Scott ("The Office")
16. Just taughtENSEIGNÉ my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
    Conan O’Brien
17. If love were blindÉTAIT AVEUGLE, lingerie wouldn't be so popular.
    Anonymous
18. You know you’re getting old when the candlesBOUGIES cost more than the cake.
    Bob Hope
19. Those who believe in telekinesisTÉLÉKINÉSIE, please raise my handLEVER MA MAIN.
    Kurt Vonnegut
20. Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesomePÉNIBLE / DIFFICILE.
    Isaac Asimov

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🔍 Vocabulary

Let's look at five expressions: popped her clogs, inflatable, a date, Dutch, and arrange.
Popped her clogs means "died" (UK informal).
Inflatable means something that can be filled with air.
A date refers to a romantic meeting.
Dutch refers to someone or something from the Netherlands.
Arrange means to plan or organise something in advance.

• He popped his clogs after a long illness.
• We bought an inflatable mattress for camping.
• I have a date tonight!
• She's Dutch, from Amsterdam.
• Let's arrange to meet at 7 p.m.

📘 Grammar

This joke uses the past perfect for comic effect: "she'd popped her clogs" implies she had already died *before* the date.
It also features past simple ("I met," "I phoned") for storytelling, and to-infinitive ("to arrange a date").

• She had popped her clogs before he even called.
• I met her last week.
• He phoned to arrange the meeting.

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

Popped her clogs: kicked the bucket, passed away, died
Inflatable: air-filled, blow-up
A date: romantic meeting, rendezvous
Dutch: from the Netherlands, Netherlander
Arrange: organise, plan, set up

💬 Mini Dialogue

Alex: I tried to arrange a surprise party for Marco.
Sami: Nice! Did you invite that Dutch exchange student too?
Alex: Yes! She's bringing an inflatable llama as a gift.
Sami: No way. Is Marco still going?
Alex: He might not. He popped his clogs … with excitement!

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