a guy walks into a bar

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mosotho woman laughing like she has just heard the funniest joke in the village
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer

A guy walks into a barENTERS A PUB after a long day at work and orders a drinkASKS FOR AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE. As he sits there, mullingTHINKING DEEPLY over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, “That shirt looks great on you!”

The man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink, thinking little of it. But then, moments later, the voice returns, this time saying, “You seem like a really cool guy!”

Again, the man looks around, finds no one, and returns to his drink, wondering ifTHINKING THAT IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE he should see a doctor. Eventually, just as his nerves settle and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, “I bet your parents are really proudPLEASED AND SATISFIED of you!”

He slams down his drinkPUTS HIS DRINK DOWN LOUDLY AND ANGRILY and looks around wildlyIN A CRAZY OR CONFUSED WAY. Frustrated, and unable to find the source of the voice, he calls over the bartenderPERSON WHO SERVES DRINKS AT A BAR.

He says, “Hey barkeepINFORMAL WORD FOR BARTENDER! What’s that voice I keep hearing?”

“Oh, those are the peanutsSALTED SNACK NUTS,” the bartender replies. “They’re complimentaryFREE OF CHARGE; ALSO MEANS THEY GIVE COMPLIMENTS.”

Let's look at these three: mulling, slams down his drink, and complimentary.
  • She was mulling over whether to accept the offer.
  • He slammed down his drink and left without a word.
  • We enjoyed the hotel’s complimentary spa service.
This joke uses the present simple tense to make the situation feel vivid and current, as in “walks into a bar” and “he hears a voice.” It also relies on direct speech to bring the voices and the punchline to life. The joke’s humour hinges on a pun — a word with two meanings — in this case, "complimentary."
  • A customer walks into a shop and asks for help.
  • She says, “What a lovely jacket!”
  • The assistant replies, “Thank you, it's vintage.”

© —This blog shares jokes passed along from person to person, over time. I claim ownership to none of them. Feel free to copy, share, or tell them at your wedding, your next dinner party, or braaivleis, or bar mitzvah. Drop your favourite clean joke in the comment section and we'll happily share it.

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a husband with a temper

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Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer A woman goes to the doctor's, worried about her husband's temper MOOD OR EMOTIONAL STATE . The doctor asks, "What is the problem?" The woman says, "Doctor, I do not know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper BECOME ANGRY SUDDENLY for no reason. It scares me IT MAKES ME AFRAID ." The doctor says, "I have a solution for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry FEELING OR SHOWING STRONG UNHAPPINESS OR ANNOYANCE , just take a glass of water and start swishing MOVING LIQUID AROUND IN YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT SWALLOWING it in your mouth. Just swish MOVE LIQUID AROUND IN YOUR MOUTH and swish, but do not swallow CAUSE TO GO DOWN THE THROAT INTO THE STOMACH it until he either leaves the room or calms down." Two weeks later, the woman comes ...
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