𝔸 middle-agedD'ÂGE MOYEN woman had a heart attack and was rushedEMMENÉE D'URGENCE to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experienceEXPÉRIENCE DE MORT IMMINENTE.
Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time upSUIS-JE SUR LE POINT DE MOURIR ??"
God answered, "No, you have another 30 years, 2 months and 11 days to live."
When she recoveredS'EST REMISE, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a faceliftLIFTING DU VISAGE, liposuction, and a tummy tuckPLASTIE DU VENTRE. She even had someone come in and dyeTEINDRE her hair blonde.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figuredELLE S'EST DIT QUE she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was discharged fromAUTORISÉE À QUITTER the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit by a truckCAMION and died immediately.
Arriving in front of God, she demandedELLE A EXIGÉ, "I thought you said I had another 30 years — why didn’t you pull me fromME TIRER HORS DE the path of the car?"
God replied, "Because I didn’t recognise you."
🔍 Vocabulary
Rushed means taken quickly somewhere, usually in an emergency.
Near-death experience is a personal experience associated with death or imminent death.
She figured is informal for “she thought” or “she reasoned”.
- He was rushed to the ER after the accident.
- She had a near-death experience during surgery.
- She figured it was best to leave early.
📘 Grammar
It also features reported speech and direct questions ("Is my time up?") and an example of causative construction: "had someone dye her hair".
- She had a facelift. (past simple)
- She asked, "Is my time up?" (direct speech)
- She had someone come in and dye her hair. (causative)
🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives
Recovered: got better, healed
Discharged from: released from, allowed to leave
She demanded: she asked forcefully, she insisted
Pull me from: rescue me from, drag me out of
💬 Mini Dialogue
Marta: Oh no! Was it serious?
Lucy: Kind of — he had a near-death experience. I was terrified.
Marta: Poor thing. Has he recovered now?
Lucy: Yes. He's even back to attacking the curtains again.
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