3 doctor jokes

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– The doctor told me I’d be back on my feetPIEDS in two weeks…
– And? Was he right?
– Yeah, I had to sell my carVOITURE to pay his billFACTURE.

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A young man goes to see his doctorMÉDECIN and says: “Doctor, one of my friends slept withA COUCHÉ AVEC a girl he didn’t know, and he’s afraid of catching a sexually transmitted diseaseMALADIE SEXUELLEMENT TRANSMISSIBLE. He’s very worriedS'INQUIÉTER. What should he do?”
The doctor replies: “Open your zipBRAGUETTE and show me your friend!”

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The doctor says to his patientPATIENT:
– I’ve got bad news and very bad news for you.
– Start with the bad.
– I got your test results. They showILS MONTRENT clearly you have only 24 hours left to live. – 24 HOURS! That’s awfulTERRIBLE! That’s unbelievable! And you say you’ve got even worsePIRE news?
– Yes, I’ve been trying to reach youPOUR VOUS JOINDRE since yesterday to tell you…

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🔍 Vocabulary

In this joke, let’s examine feet, bill, zip, and patient.

Feet: the lower extremities of the legs, used for standing or walking.

Bill: a written statement of money owed for goods or services.

Zip: a fastener consisting of two rows of teeth pulled together by a slider.

Patient: a person receiving medical treatment from a doctor.

• He stood on his feet for eight hours straight.
• The restaurant bill was higher than expected.
• He opened his zip to adjust his jacket.
• The patient waited calmly for the doctor.

📘 Grammar

This joke makes use of direct speech to convey dialogue naturally.

It also employs reported time expressions (e.g. “since yesterday”) to situate events.

• “I’ve got bad news,” the doctor said. (direct speech)
• I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday. (reported time)

🔄 Synonyms & Alternatives

Feet: legs, lower limbs

Bill: invoice, charge

Zip: fly, zipper

💬 Mini Dialogue

HR Manager: The patient data from sick leaveCONGÉ MALADIE requests is confidential.

Secretary: I’ll scan the invoicesFACTURES and attach each bill properly.

HR Manager: Good. Otherwise the auditors will be on their feet about errors.

Secretary: Don’t worry, I’ve zipped every file into the system securely.

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