two hunters

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Two hunters were out in the woodsDANS LES BOIS when one of them suddenly collapsesS'EFFONDRA.

He isn’t breathingNE RESPIRAIT PLUS, and his eyes are glassyVITREUX and unfocused.

Panicking, the other hunter pulls outSORTIT his phone and calls emergency servicesLES SECOURS.

“My friend’s deadMORT!” he shouts. “What should I do?”

The operatorOPÉRATRICE replies calmly, “Take a deep breathPRENEZ UNE GRANDE INSPIRATION. I can help. First, let’s make sureASSURONS-NOUS he’s actuallyVRAIMENT dead.”

There’s a brief silence. Then a gunshot rings outUN COUP DE FEU RETENTIT.

The hunter comes back on the lineAU TÉLÉPHONE and says, “Okay. Now what?BON. ET MAINTENANT ?”

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Vocabulary

Collapse: to fall down suddenly (often from illness or shock).

Glassy: (of eyes) dull, lifeless, staring blankly.

The hunter collapsedS'EFFONDRA suddenly in the woods.

His eyes are glassyVITREUX and unfocused.

Grammar

The joke uses past simple for the main narrative sequence and to report sudden events, with present simple in dialogue for immediacy. Past continuous appears for background states.

Past simple: One of them collapsed. The other hunter pulled out his phone.

Present simple in dialogue: “My friend’s dead!” … “Take a deep breath.”

Synonyms & Alternatives

Collapses: falls down, drops, faints.

Glassy: glazed, vacant, lifeless.

Mini Dialogue

Walker: My mate collapsedS'EST EFFONDRÉ on the mountain path!

Rescue operator: Stay calm. First make sureASSUREZ-VOUS he’s actuallyVRAIMENT unconscious.

Walker: Hold on… [sound of thud] Right, now what?ET MAINTENANT ?

Rescue operator: Wait—what did you just do?!

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