old age

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You know you’re getting old when, in a hostage situation, you’d probably beSÉRIEZ PROBABLEMENT the first one released.

You and your teeth no longerNE DORMENT PLUS ENSEMBLE sleep together.

Someone calls at 9 p.m. and asks, “Did I wake you?”—and the answer is yes.

You start every otherUNE SUR DEUX sentence with “Nowadays…”

The clothes you stored away waiting for them to come back in style actuallyVRAIMENT do.

The things you buy don’t wear out anymoreNE S’USENT PLUS—they outlastSURVIVENT À you.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

“Getting a little action” means you can skipSE PASSER DE the laxative, and “getting lucky” means finding your car in the parking lotPARKING.

Happy hour is a napUNE SIESTE, and the only thing you care to exercise is caution.

You’re a 17 around the neck, a 42 around the waistAUTOUR DE LA TAILLE, and a 94 around the golf courseAU GOLF.

And when someone tells you to act your ageAGIR SELON SON ÂGE, you consider it—and nearly die on the spotSUR PLACE.

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Vocabulary

Outlast: to live or last longer than someone or something else.

Skip: to avoid or omit something deliberately.

The things you buy don’t wear out anymore—they outlastSURVIVENT À you.

“Getting a little action” means you can skipSAUTER the laxative.

Grammar

The joke uses present simple for general truths about ageing and conditional structures for humorous hypothetical situations.

Present simple for habits/truths: You start every other sentence with “Nowadays…”

Conditional (would): In a hostage situation, you’d probably beSERIEZ PROBABLEMENT the first one released.

Synonyms & Alternatives

Outlast: survive longer than, outlive.

Skip: miss out, bypass, pass over.

Mini Dialogue

Arthur: These cheap batteries never last!

Bernard: True, but the old ones outlastSURVIVENT À everything now.

Clara: I just skipSAUTE breakfast to save time these days.

Arthur: Careful—you’ll need that energy later!

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