fifteen one liners

Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.

1. I like a woman with a head on her shouldersAVEC UNE TÊTE BIEN FAITE SUR LES ÉPAULES. I hate necksLES COUS.
   Steve Martin


2. Love is like a fartUN PET. If you have to force it, it's probably sh*t.
   Stephen K. Amos


3. I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.
   Richard Pryor



4. If God had written the Bible, the first line should have beenAURAIT DÛ ÊTRE: It's round.
   Eddie Izzard


5. Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the cornerC’ÉTAIT MOI DANS LE COIN .
   Milton Jones



6. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about thatNOUS VERRONS BIEN CELA.
   Stewart Francis


7. If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?
   Dara Ó Briain


8. I cleaned the atticLE GRENIER with my wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebsTOILES D’ARAIGNÉE out of her hair.
   Unknown


9. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
   Emo Philips


10. When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt!
    Unknown



11. Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
    Unknown


12. War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
    Ambrose Bierce, 1842–1913


13. I remember the last thing my nanMAMIE said to me before she died: What are you doing here with that hammerMARTEAU?
    Lee Mack


14. Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
    Henny Youngman


15. I think I see a cab. If we run quickly we can kick the crutchBÉQUILLE from that old lady and get it.
    Woody Allen

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Vocabulary

Attic: the space just below the roof of a house.

Cobwebs: old spider webs found in neglected places.

They went up to the atticLE GRENIER.

Her hair was full of cobwebsTOILES D’ARAIGNÉE.

Grammar

The quotes mix conditionals, past narration, and direct speech for comic timing.

Second conditional: If God had written the Bible…

Direct speech: “We’ll see about that.”

Synonyms & Alternatives

Attic: loft, roof space.

Cobwebs: spider webs, dust threads.

Mini Dialogue

Arthur: If I had known, I would never have gone into the atticLE GRENIER.

Brian: Why? Was it full of cobwebsTOILES D’ARAIGNÉE?

Arthur: Completely! I looked like a ghost afterwards.

Brian: We’ll see about that when I check the photos.

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