confessing

Passez la souris ou touchez les mots soulignés pour voir la traduction.

A Catholic man enters the confessionalLE CONFESSIONNAL and begins, “Forgive me, I have sinnedPARDONNEZ-MOI, MON PÈRE, CAR J’AI PÉCHÉ.”

“Go on, my son,” replies the priestLE PRÊTRE.

“I sworeJ’AI LÂCHÉ UN GROS JURON the other day—in the most profane way possible,” the man confessesAVOUE L’HOMME.

“Continue,” says the priest.

“I was playing golf and hit my driveJ’AI TAPÉ MON DRIVE. It looked perfect—dead straightBIEN DROIT down the fairwayLE FAIRWAY. But about 200 yards outÀ ENVIRON 200 YARDS, my ball struck a power lineA HEURTÉ UNE LIGNE ÉLECTRIQUE crossing overhead.”

“And that’s when you swore?” asks the priest.

“No, Father, not yetPAS ENCORE. The ball ricocheted off the wires and sailed into the deep roughLE ROUGH PROFOND.”

“Aha, that must have been the moment, yes?” says the priest.

“Not even thenMÊME PAS ALORS. As I walked toward the roughLE ROUGH to play my second shot, a hawk swooped downUN FAUCON A PIQUÉ, snatched my ballA ATTRAPÉ MA BALLE in its beakBEC, and flew off with it.”

“I see,” says the priest. “This surely was when you sworeC’EST SÛREMENT LÀ QUE VOUS AVEZ JURÉ.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no. As the bird passed over the green, the ball dropped from its mouth and landed just two feet from the holeEST TOMBÉE À SEULEMENT DEUX PIEDS DU TROU.”

A brief silence follows. Then the priest leans forwardSE PENCHA EN AVANT and says, “You missed the f*ckin' putt, didn’t you?VOUS AVEZ RATÉ CE PUTAIN DE PUTT, HEIN ?”

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Vocabulary

Confessional: a small booth where Catholics confess their sins to a priest.

Drive: the first, usually long, shot from the tee in golf.

He entered the confessionalLE CONFESSIONNAL quietly.

She hit her driveFRAPPA SON DRIVE straight down the course.

Grammar

The joke mainly uses past simple for narrative progression, with past continuous to set background actions.

Past simple: The ball struck a power line and landed near the hole.

Past continuous: I was playing golf when the accident happened.

Synonyms & Alternatives

Swore: cursed, used foul language.

Deep rough: thick grass, heavy rough.

Mini Dialogue

Oliver: I was cooking when I dropped the panLAISSAI TOMBER LA POÊLE on the floor.

Hugo: And that’s when you sworeJURAS, I suppose?

Oliver: Not at all — the cat had already run awayS’ÉTAIT DÉJÀ ENFUI.

Hugo: You missed your dinnerAS RATÉ TON DÎNER, didn’t you?

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