Learn English with Jokes • Walking on Water
Learn English With Jokes
Walking on Water
Intermediate · Narrative Present · Phrasal Verbs
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The PopeLE PAPE, the Dalai Lama, and the Archbishop of Canterbury decide to go fishing. They hireILS LOUENT a boat and row outS’ÉLOIGNENT EN RAMANT to the middle of a lake. It is a scorching dayUNE JOURNÉE TORRIDE, and within an hour or two they have finished all the beer.
“Let’s row back to shoreREVENIR À LA RIVE EN RAMANT and get a carry-outDES BOISSONS À EMPORTER (USAGE BRITANNIQUE RÉGIONAL) from the local pub,” says the Pope.
“No need,” says the Dalai Lama. He steps over the sideENJAMBE LE BORD of the boat and calmly walks across the surface of the water to the shoreLA RIVE. Ten minutes later, he returns with more beer and steps into the boatREMONTE DANS LE BATEAU.
Half an hour later, they run out of beerILS N’ONT PLUS DE BIÈRE again.
“My turn,” says the Pope. He peersIL REGARDE ATTENTIVEMENT over the side and breaks into a broad smileSE MET À SOURIRE LARGEMENT. He steps over and walks across the water, returning shortly after with more beer, strollingMARCHANT TRANQUILLEMENT back to the boat.
Another half hour passes, and once again the beer is gone.
The Archbishop steps over the side of the boat and immediately sinks below the surfaceS’ENFONCE SOUS LA SURFACE. The other two haul him back aboardLE HISSENT À NOUVEAU À BORD. As he lies there coughingEN TOUSSANT and splutteringEN CRACHOTANT DE L’EAU, the Pope says, “Do you think we should have told him about the stepping stonesLES PIERRES SUR LESQUELLES ON MARCHE POUR TRAVERSER L’EAU?”
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Present simple for storytelling
The joke uses “decide”, “returns”, “sinks” and “says”. This narrative present makes the events feel immediate. In French, it corresponds to the présent de narration.
2. Present perfect for a completed action with a present result
“They have finished all the beer”: the drinking is finished, and there is no beer left now. Form: have + past participle.
3. Let’s + base verb
“Let’s row back” makes a suggestion: Revenons à la rive en ramant. “Let’s” means “let us”. Use the base verb: “Let’s go”, not “Let’s to go”.
4. Should have + past participle
“We should have told him” refers to something it would have been better to do earlier: Nous aurions dû le lui dire. Compare: “We should tell him” = advice about what to do now.
5. Phrasal verbs
“Run out of beer” means have no beer left. “Row back” means return by rowing. “Break into a smile” means suddenly start smiling.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
“A carry-out” is a regional British expression for food or drinks bought to take away. Here, it means beer to take away from the pub.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Thabo and Lerato are planning a picnic by a lake.
Thabo: It’s a scorching day. Let’s sit by the shore.
Lerato: Good idea. Have you brought anything to drink?
Thabo: Yes, but we’ve run out of water.
Lerato: We should have brought another bottle.
Thabo: No problem. I’ll stroll back to the shop.
Lerato: Take the path — don’t try walking on water!
Practise a suggestion, a present result and a comment about an earlier mistake.
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