nothing to declare

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On an international flightVOL, a young woman was having a long conversation with the priestPRÊTRE sitting next to her.

They were about toALLAIENT DE land when the woman, looking slightly embarrassed, said, “Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour? I bought a luxury massage toolAPPAREIL that was quite expensive, and I really don’t want to pay customs feesTAXES DE DOUANE. Could youPOURRIEZ‑VOUS hide it under your cassockSORTE DE ROBE LONGUE when we pass through customsLA DOUANE… please?”

The priest reluctantlyÀ CONTRECŒUR agreed and hid the massage tool under his cassock. But he warned her, “I’ll do my best, but I cannot lieMENTIR.”

At the airport, a customs officerDOUANIER approached the priest and asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

The priest replied, “From my head to my waistTAILLE, I have nothing to declare.”

The officer follows‑upPOSA UNE QUESTION SUPPLÉMENTAIRE, “Well, do you have anything to declare belowAU‑DESSOUS DE your waist?”

The priest answered, “BelowAU‑DESSOUS DE my waist, I only have a tool meant to pleasePOUR PLAIRE women, but up to today, it has still not been used.”

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Vocabulary

Customs fees: extra money paid when bringing goods into a country.

Cassock: a long, loose robe worn by priests.

The woman does not want to pay customs feesTAXES DE DOUANE.

She asks the priest to hide the massage toolAPPAREIL under his cassock.

Grammar

The joke uses mainly past simple to narrate events and reported speech, with a few present‑tense lines in the direct dialogue.

Past simple: They were about to land when the woman said, “Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour?”

Reported speech / indirect meaning: The priest warned her that he could not lie.

Present in dialogue: The customs officer asks, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

Synonyms & Alternatives

Customs fees: import duties, customs charges.

Tool: device, gadget.

Mini Dialogue

Louise: I just bought an expensive perfume in Paris and I really don’t want to pay customs feesTAXES DE DOUANE.

Tom: I could put it under my jacket at the airport, but I cannot lieMENTIR if they ask.

Customs officer: Do you have anything to declare belowAU‑DESSOUS DE your waist?

Tom: No, sir, I only have my passport and my wallet.

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