07 November 2025

whiskey man

Learn English With Jokes
laughing woman who has just heard a funny joke
Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer.

A man came home after spending time with his mistresssa maîtresse / sa liaison amoureuse. As he walked through the front door, he noticed he smelled like her perfume.

Feeling a wave of panicune vague de panique / un sentiment soudain d’inquiétude, he quickly hatched a planéchafauda un plan / inventa une idée rapide to divert suspicion.

He decided to visit the nearby barle bar du coin / le pub voisin, hoping whiskey would mask the scent of his illicit escapade.

After a few drinks, he staggeredtituba / rentra en vacillant back home, praying his wife wouldn’t catch ondécouvrir / se rendre compte.

Howevercependant / pourtant, his wife was no fool. She met him at the door, took a deep breathune grande inspiration / respira profondément, and said: “You dirty pigsale porc / espèce d’imbécile! You could pour a gallonun gallon / une grande quantité of women’s perfume over yourself… and I’d still know you’ve been to the bar.”


Vocabulary
mistress: a woman someone has an affair with
staggered: walked unsteadily, as if drunk
catch on: realise or notice something
hatched a plan: made or devised a plan
He tried to hide the smell from his mistressmaîtresse.
After several drinks, he staggeredtituba home.
She didn’t catch onse rendre compte at first.
He hatched a planéchafauda un plan to hide the truth.
Grammar
The joke uses the past simple for narration and would to express a hypothetical outcome.
Past simple: He walked through the door.
Would: He thought whiskey would mask the scent.
Synonyms & Alternatives
mistress: lover, affair partner, companion
staggered: stumbled, tottered, reeled
hatched a plan: plotted, devised, came up with
Mini Dialogue
Lucy (HR): We need to discuss how James hatched a plana conçu un plan to reduce costs.
Ben (Accounting): Yes, but when the auditors arrive, they’ll probably catch ons’en apercevoir.
Lucy: True. If it fails, he’ll just staggervaciller / tituber into another excuse.
Ben: Howevercependant, we’ll see what the director says.


© — This collection features light-hearted ESL jokes for English learners. None of these jokes are owned; they’re shared in the spirit of fun and learning. You may retell them freely at dinners, classrooms, or coffee breaks.

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