the brass lamp

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A man finds an old brass lampLAMPE EN LAITON on the beach. It’s very sandy, so he picks it up and rubs itLA FROTTA.

Wouldn’t you know, it starts to emit a plumeVOLUTE of multicoloured smoke and a djinniDJINN appears.

The djinni says, “For freeing me from this lamp I offer you three wishes.”

The man cuts him offL’INTERROMPIT, “I know, I know, three wishes! My first wish is to have €200 billion, free and clear, in the bank.”

The djinni says, “It shall be as you wish, but you did not let me finish. In order to dissuade youTE DÉCOURAGER from making greedy and selfish wishes, whatever you wish for, your worst enemy will receive it twice over.”

“Oh, that’s just fine! Now that I am wealthy, I no longer have ill willRANCUNE toward my enemy. In fact, for my second wish, I wish that when I die, my enemy will get half my estate!”

“Well, that indeed is very generous. I’m so happy that such a kind and generous person found my lamp. What is your third wish?”

“My third wish comes out of a strong regretREGRET PROFOND and sorrowPEINE for my earlier life choices and treatment of others. As punishment, I wish to be beaten half to deathBATTU À DEMI MORT.”

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Vocabulary

Djinni: a supernatural being from Middle Eastern mythology able to grant wishes.

Dissuade: to persuade someone not to do something.

The man cuts him offL’INTERROMPIT before he can finish.

The djinni tries to dissuade himLE DÉCOURAGER from being greedy.

Grammar

The joke mainly uses past simple to narrate events and direct speech, shifting to conditional and modal forms to express wishes and consequences.

Past simple: The man found and rubbed the lamp.

Conditional: The djinni says your enemy will receive twice over.

Synonyms & Alternatives

Wish: desire, request.

Ill will: hostility, resentment.

Mini Dialogue

Lucy: I dissuadedDÉCOURAGEAI Tom from buying that old car—it’s unsafe!

Tom: But I had already cut you offT’AVAIS INTERROMPUE before you could explain why.

Lucy: Then don’t blame me when the engine fails!

Tom (sighing): I have no ill willRANCUNE, but you were right again.

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