the hunter and the bear | learn english with jokes • ret's esl jokes
Learn English With Jokes
Ret's ESL Jokes
Intermediate · Past Simple · Narrative Tenses
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Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français.
A hunterCHASSEUR headed into the woodsLES BOIS/LA FORÊT with his brand new rifleFUSIL. He had been tracking a huge bearOURS all season. Finally, he spotted itIL L’APERÇUT. He lined up the shot, fired, and missedMANQUA (LA CIBLE). The bear turned aroundSE RETOURNA, walked right up to him, and said, "Listen, buddyMON COPAIN / MON POTE. You tried to kill me. I could tear you apart right nowTOUT DE SUITE. But I’m feeling merciful. You can either let me maul youME LAISSER TE MUTILER / DÉCHIQUETER, or… we can have a little cuddle in the bushesUN PETIT CALIN DANS LES BUISSONS. Your choice."
The hunter thought about it. He wasn’t crazyFOU. He picked the bushesCHOISIT LES BUISSONS.
He was furious afterwardENSUITE / APRÈS. The next day he came back with a bigger gun. Spotted the bearAPERÇUT L’OURS, fired, missed againMANQUA ENCORE. The bear walked up, sighedSOUPIRA, and said, "We both know how this worksCOMMENT ÇA MARCHE / FONCTIONNE now. Maul or bushesMUTILER OU BUISSONS?"
Again, the hunter chose the bushes.
Now he was livid. He bought the biggest gun in the store, practised all weekS’ENTRAÎNA TOUTE LA SEMAINE, and stormedFONÇA / SE RUA back into the woods. Finds the bearTROUVE L’OURS, unloaded the whole clipTOUT LE CHARGEUR. Smoke cleared… bear’s still standingL’OURS EST TOUJOURS DEBOUT. The bear walked up, put a pawUNE PATTE on his shoulder, and said, "Come on, man. You’re not really here for the hunting, are you?"
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Past simple for completed actions in a clear sequence
The entire story uses past simple to show what happened one after another: headed, spotted, fired, missed, turned around, walked, said, thought, picked, came back, bought, practised, stormed, walked up, put, said. This tense is perfect for telling a joke because it moves the action forward step by step. Learners can see how English speakers use past simple to list the events of a narrative without worrying about which action interrupted another.
2. Past perfect for the earlier action (“had been tracking”)
The second sentence uses past perfect: He had been tracking a huge bear all season. This shows an action that started before the main events of the story (the hunter heading into the woods). Past perfect helps clarify the order of events when the narrative is not strictly chronological. Here, it tells us the tracking began long before the day he finally spotted the bear. For French speakers, this is similar to the plus-que-parfait (Il avait traqué).
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
Both fit the informal tone: “Listen, mate” or “He was furious later”.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Thabo and Lerato are discussing a strange experience Lerato had at the gym with a very persistent personal trainer.
Lerato: “He turned aroundSE RETOURNA, looked me in the eye, and said, ‘You can let me push you hardME LAISSER TE POUSSER FORT today, or we can just have a little stretchUN PETIT ÉTIREMENT on the mat.’”
Thabo: “What did you do?”
Lerato: “I wasn’t crazyFOU. I picked the stretchCHOISIT L’ÉTIREMENT. AfterwardENSUITE / APRÈS, he sighedSOUPIRA and said, ‘You’re not really here to get fit, are you?’”
Uses past simple (“turned”, “looked”, “said”, “picked”), past perfect implied, and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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