Learn English With Jokes • A Gorilla in the backyard
Learn English With Jokes
Ret's ESL Jokes
Intermediate · Future with 'Gonna' · Present Simple
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Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français.
Billy goes out into his backyardARRIÈRE-COUR and is shocked to see a gorilla sitting in one of the trees. He quickly runs back inside and calls animal control.
Twenty minutes later, an animal control officer shows upARRIVE / SE POINTE and sees that it is true. The officer thinks for a moment, then goes back to his vanFOURGON / CAMIONNETTE and returns with a baseball bat, a German ShepherdBERGER ALLEMAND, a pair of handcuffsMENOTTES, and a shotgunFUSIL À POMPE / CHEVROTINE.
He tells Billy, "Here is what we are gonnaGOING TO (FORME FAMILIÈRE) do. I will take this bat, climb up there, and knock the gorilla out of the tree."
Billy asks, "Okay, but then what?"
The officer says, "When the gorilla hits the ground, Brutus here is gonna go forVA S'ATTAQUER À / VA VISER his testicles."
Billy asks again, "Okay, but then what?"
The officer says, "Well, when the gorilla tries to cover them with his hands, you slap onENFILES RAPIDEMENT / METS these handcuffs."
Billy agrees, and the officer starts climbingMONTER / GRIMPER the tree.
Billy yellsCRIE (FORT) up to him, "Hey, what is the shotgun for?"
The officer replies, "Oh, right. If by some chancePAR HASARD / SI PAR MALHEUR I fall out of the tree, shoot Brutus."
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Future with "gonna" (informal "going to") for planned actions
The joke uses gonna extensively to express future plans and intentions: "we are gonna do", "Brutus is gonna go for", "I'm gonna be" (implied). This is the informal, spoken contraction of going to. It is very common in everyday conversation and jokes because it sounds natural and relaxed. Learners should recognise gonna as authentic spoken English, but remember that going to is used in formal writing. For French speakers, this is similar to using aller + infinitif (je vais faire).
2. Present simple for future time in dependent clauses (conditionals and time clauses)
The joke uses present simple in clauses that refer to the future, after words like when and if. For example: "When the gorilla hits the ground..." (not will hit), "when the gorilla tries to cover them..." (not will try), and "If I fall out of the tree..." (not will fall). This is a key rule in English: in time clauses (when, as soon as, after) and conditional clauses (if, unless), we use present simple to talk about the future. For French speakers, this is different from French, which often uses the future tense in these clauses.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
Both fit the conversational tone: “the officer arrives” or “Billy shouts up to him”.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Two friends, Jake and Mike, are watching a repairman try to fix a broken satellite dish on the roof. The repairman has brought his dog along.
Jake: "What is he gonnaGOING TO (FORME FAMILIÈRE) do with that rope?"
Mike: "He said he's gonnaGOING TO (FORME FAMILIÈRE) tie it around the chimney."
Jake: "Okay, but then what?"
Mike: "By some chancePAR HASARD / SI PAR MALHEUR he falls, the rope will catch him."
Jake: "So why is the dog up there with him?"
Mike: "He said, 'If I fall, at least Rex will keep me company.' I don't think he has a real plan."
Uses "gonna" for future plans, present simple in "if" clauses ("falls"), and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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