Learn English With Jokes ✦ The Priest And The Tool
Learn English With Jokes
The Priest & The Tool
Intermediate · Past Simple · Past Continuous
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Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français.
On an international flightVOL INTERNATIONAL, a young woman was having a long conversation with the priestPRÊTRE sitting next to her.
They were about toSUR LE POINT DE land when the woman, looking slightly embarrassed, said, "Listen, Father, may I ask you for a favour? I bought a luxury massage toolAPPAREIL DE MASSAGE that was quite expensive, and I really don't want to pay customs feesDROITS DE DOUANE. Could youPOURRIEZ-VOUS hide it under your cassockSOUTANE when we pass through customsDOUANE… please?"
The priest reluctantlyÀ CONTRECŒUR agreed and hid the massage tool under his cassock. But he warned her, "I'll do my best, but I cannot lieMENTIR."
At the airport, a customs officerDOUANIER approached the priest and asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
The priest replied, "From my head to my waistTAILLE, I have nothing to declare."
The officer followed upA DEMANDÉ ENSUITE, "Well, do you have anything to declare belowEN DESSOUS DE your waist?"
The priest answered, "BelowEN DESSOUS DE my waist, I only have a tool meant to pleasePOUR SATISFAIRE women, but up to today, it has still not been used."
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Past continuous for background actions
The joke opens with past continuous: "a young woman was having a long conversation". This tense sets the scene and describes an action in progress when another event (the landing) was about to happen. Later, "They were about to land" uses a past continuous structure to indicate something imminent. For French speakers, this aligns with the imparfait (elle avait une conversation).
2. Past simple to narrate the sequence
The story uses past simple to move the action forward: agreed, hid, warned, approached, asked, replied, followed up, answered. Each verb shows a completed action in the past. Learners can see how English alternates between past continuous (background) and past simple (main events) to create a clear, engaging narrative.
3. Polite request with 'Could you'
The woman asks "Could you hide it under your cassock?" — a polite way to make a request in English. This is a useful structure for B1+ learners in everyday situations (asking for favours, making suggestions).
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
Using synonyms helps avoid repetition and makes writing more natural. For example: "The priest hesitantly agreed" or "The officer continued, 'Anything below your waist?'"
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Two friends, Emma and James, are at the airport after a holiday. Emma bought an expensive souvenir and asks James to help her avoid customs fees.
Emma: "James, could youPOURRIEZ-VOUS put this painting under your coat? I really don't want to pay customs fees."
James: ReluctantlyÀ CONTRECŒUR, he agreed. "Fine, but I won't lieMENTIR if they ask me directly."
Customs officer: "Sir, do you have anything to declare?"
James: "From my shoulders to my knees, I have nothing to declare."
Officer: "And belowEN DESSOUS DE your knees?"
James: "Just a painting meant to pleaseDESTINÉ À PLAIRE À my mother, but I'm not sure she'll like it."
This dialogue practises past continuous (was waiting), past simple (agreed, asked, replied), and vocabulary from the joke (reluctantly, lie, below, meant to please).
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