Learn English With Jokes ✦ The Cause Of Arthritis
Learn English With Jokes
The Cause Of Arthritis
Intermediate · Past Simple · Present Simple
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Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français.
A man who smelled like a distillery DISTILLERIE flopped S'AFFAISA on a subway MÉTRO seat next to a priest.
The man's tie was stainedSA CRAVATE ÉTAIT TACHÉE, his face was plastered withÉTAIT BARBOUILLÉ DE red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking outDÉPASSAIT of his tornDÉCHIRÉ coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes, the dishevelledDÉBRAILLÉ guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose livingUNE VIE DÉBAUCHÉE, being with cheap, wicked womenDES FEMMES VILES ET IMMORALES, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well I'll be," the drunk mutteredMARMONNA L'IVROGNE, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the manDONNA UN COUP DE COUDE À L'HOMME and apologised. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strongÀ ÊTRE SI BRUSQUE. How long did you have arthritis?"
"I don't have it, father. I was just reading here that the Pope doesJE VENAIS DE LIRE ICI QUE LE PAPE EN SOUFFRAIT."
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Past simple for completed narrative actions
The joke uses past simple throughout to tell the sequence of events: flopped, opened, began, turned, asked, muttered, nudged, apologised. This tense moves the story forward clearly and chronologically. Learners can see how English speakers use past simple to list what happened one after another — from the drunk man flopping down on the subway seat to the priest's embarrassed apology and the final punchline.
2. Present simple for dialogue and reported opinions
The joke uses present simple for the priest's explanation: "it's caused by", "loose living", etc. This is a general statement of belief, not a past event. The drunk man's final line uses past continuous: "I was just reading that the Pope does" — present simple in the subordinate clause because it reports a fact that is still true. This mix of tenses shows how native speakers use different tenses for different purposes within the same narrative.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
Both fit the descriptive tone: “slumped on a subway seat” or “the messy guy”.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are on a bus. A man in a messy suit sits down next to them and starts reading a newspaper.
Thabo: "Look at that guy. He looks completely dishevelledDÉBRAILLÉ. His tie is stainedTACHÉE and his coat is tornDÉCHIRÉ."
Lerato: "He just floppedS'AFFAISA into that seat like he had a long night."
Thabo: "He's reading an article about the Pope. It says he has arthritis."
Lerato: "I heard that's caused by loose livingUNE VIE DÉBAUCHÉE and too much alcohol!"
Thabo: "Don't come on so strongÊTRE SI BRUSQUE — it's just a joke!"
Uses past simple for narrative actions ("looked", "flopped", "read"), present simple for descriptions and opinions, and vocabulary items integrated naturally.
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