ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes • Two Planets Learn with a joke, then do a quick quiz. ☀ / ☾ theme Two Planets Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. During my check-up BILAN DE SANTÉ I asked the Physician MÉDECIN , "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?" He replied, "I kind of doubt it J'EN DOUTE UN PEU . You see, Mercury is in Uranus MERCURE EST DANS URANUS (JEU DE MOTS : "URANUS" SONNE COMME "YOUR ANUS") right now." I said, "I don't go in for JE NE M'INTÉRESSE PAS À any of that astrology ASTROLOGIE nonsense." He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer THERMOMÈTRE just broke." ...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes The Pope's Chauffeur Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. One day, the Pope PAPE is visiting America and is being driven around Washington DC in his limo LIMOUSINE when he gets an idea. " Driver CHAUFFEUR ," he says, "can I drive for a while UN PETIT MOMENT ?" "Of course," says the driver. [How can you say 'no' to the Pope?] So the Pope starts driving like a maniac FOU / DÉLIRANT all over town, going in and out of traffic, doing CONDUISANT À (on dit "doing + vitesse") 110 km/h. Soon a cop pulls him over L'ARR...

18 One-Liners by African, Jamaican and American Comedians ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes 18 One-Liners Intermediate · African, Jamaican & American Humour · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. “In America, you have the right to remain silent GARDER LE SILENCE —but you rarely have the ability.” — Trevor Noah “Africa is not a country. It’s a continent—and we don’t all know each other.” — Michael Blackson “My African mother doesn’t believe in depression. She thinks you just need more chores TÂCHES MÉNAGÈRES .” — Daliso Chaponda “African parents don’t ask whether you want children; they ask when the children are coming.” ...

Learn English With Jokes • Taxi Driver ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Taxi Driver Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français. A taxi passenger tapped TAPA LÉGÈREMENT the driver on the shoulder ÉPAULE to ask him a question. The driver screamed LE CHAUFFEUR A HURLÉ , lost control of the car, nearly PRESQUE hit a bus HEURTA UN BUS , went up a footpath TROTTOIR , and stopped just inches from a shop window À QUELQUES CENTIMÈTRES D'UNE VITRINE . For a second, everything was quiet in the cab TAXI . Then the driver said, "Look, mate MON VIEUX / MON POTE , don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me TU M'AS FAIT UNE PEUR BLEUE !"...

Learn English With Jokes • Ret's ESL Jokes ☀ / ☾ theme Learn English With Jokes Juan & Amal Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building ✦ Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour le français. Tapez sur 🔊 pour écouter la prononciation. A woman has identical twins jumeaux • jumelles , and gives them up for adoption les donne en adoption . One of them L’un d’eux goes to a family in Morocco and is named s’appelle ‘Amal’. The other one L’autre goes to a family in Spain and is named ‘Juan’. Many years later Juan sends a picture envoie une photo of himself to his mum maman . When she gets the photo, the mother tells her husband dit à son mari that she wished elle souhaitait she also had a photo of Amal. Her husband responds répond , “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Jua...