Learn English With Jokes • Taxi Driver
Learn English With Jokes
Taxi Driver
Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building
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A taxi passenger tappedTAPA LÉGÈREMENT the driver on the shoulderÉPAULE to ask him a question. The driver screamedLE CHAUFFEUR A HURLÉ, lost control of the car, nearlyPRESQUE hit a busHEURTA UN BUS, went up a footpathTROTTOIR, and stopped just inches from a shop windowÀ QUELQUES CENTIMÈTRES D'UNE VITRINE.
For a second, everything was quiet in the cabTAXI. Then the driver said, "Look, mateMON VIEUX / MON POTE, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of meTU M'AS FAIT UNE PEUR BLEUE!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tapUNE PETITE TAPE would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driverCHAUFFEUR DE TAXI — I've been driving a funeral vanJE CONDUISAIS UN CORBILLARD for the last 25 years."
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Points
1. Past simple for narrative events
The joke uses past simple throughout: "tapped", "screamed", "lost", "nearly hit", "went up", "stopped", "said", "apologized", "didn't realize", "replied". These are completed actions that move the story forward. In French, this corresponds to the passé composé or passé simple.
2. Present perfect continuous for ongoing past actions
"I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years" uses the present perfect continuous to describe an action that started in the past and continued up until recently. In French, this is similar to "je conduisais un corbillard depuis 25 ans" (imparfait with duration).
3. "Nearly" for almost-events
"nearly hit a bus" uses "nearly" to describe something that almost happened but didn't. In French, this is "a failli heurter un bus" or "a presque heurté un bus".
4. "Scare the living daylights out of someone"
This idiom means to frighten someone very badly. "Living daylights" is an old-fashioned expression for someone's vital senses or consciousness. In French, this is "faire une peur bleue à quelqu'un".
5. "Don't ever do that again" for strong prohibition
"Don't ever do that again" uses the imperative with "ever" for emphasis. In French, this is "ne refais jamais ça".
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
These alternatives fit the conversational tone: “patted”, “shrieked”, “almost”, “buddy”, “terrified me”.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are sharing jokes during a break.
Thabo: "I heard a funny one about a taxi passenger and a driver."
Lerato: "What happens?"
Thabo: "The passenger tapsTAPE the driver on the shoulderÉPAULE to ask a question. The driver screamsHURLE, loses control, nearlyPRESQUE hits a bus, goes up a footpathTROTTOIR, and stops inches from a shop windowÀ QUELQUES CENTIMÈTRES D'UNE VITRINE."
Lerato: "Wow! Why did he react like that?"
Thabo: "The driver says: 'Today is my first day as a cab driverCHAUFFEUR DE TAXI — I've been driving a funeral vanJE CONDUISAIS UN CORBILLARD for the last 25 years!'"
Lerato: "So he thought the passenger was a corpse tapping him! That's brilliant!"
Uses past simple for the narrative and present simple for the dialogue. Vocabulary items appear naturally.
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