Learn English With Jokes • One Less Lawyer
Learn English With Jokes
One Less Lawyer
Intermediate · Past Simple · Direct Speech and Wordplay
✦
Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour le français.
Tapez sur 🔊 pour écouter la prononciation.
An old man was illEN MAUVAISE SANTÉ and in critical condition. Feeling that deathLA FIN DE LA VIE was near, he called for his lawyer.
"I want to become a lawyer," he said. "How much is itQUEL EST LE PRIX for the express degreeQUALIFICATION ACADÉMIQUE you told me about?"
"It's €50,000," the lawyer replied. "But why? You'll be gone soon—why would you want to become a lawyer now?"
"That's my businessC'EST UNE AFFAIRE PRIVÉE! Just get me the course."
Four days later, the old man received his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedsideÀ CÔTÉ DE SON LIT, making sure his billFACTURE POUR SERVICES would be paid.
Suddenly, the old man was rackedVIOLEMMENT AFFECTÉ with fits of coughingEXPULSION FORCÉE D'AIR. It was clear the end had come.
Still curious, the lawyer leaned overPENCHÉ EN AVANT and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me—why did you want to get a law degree so badly?"
In a faint whisperUNE VOIX TRÈS DOUCE, as he breathed his last, the old man replied, "One less lawyerMOINS D'AVOCATS DANS LE MONDE..."
📘 Key Vocabulary
📖 Grammar Focus
1. Past simple for a sequence of completed actions
The narrative mainly uses the past simple: was, called, said, replied, received, was racked, leaned, replied. It places completed events in sequence. For example: “He called for his lawyer” → then “the lawyer replied” → then “four days later he received his degree”.
2. Direct speech within past narrative (quotation marks)
The joke preserves the exact words characters spoke using quotation marks: “I want to become a lawyer,” he said. This is called direct speech. Unlike reported speech (which would be He said that he wanted to become a lawyer), direct speech feels more vivid and immediate. The tense inside the quotes can be present or future (“That's my business”, “You'll be gone”) because it represents the moment of speaking. The narrative outside stays in past simple.
🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives
Both fit the tone: the old man was unwell or the lawyer stooped to listen.
💬 Mini Dialogue
Context: Two colleagues, Priya and Ahmed, are in a hospital waiting room. Priya's elderly uncle is very ill.
Ahmed: “I heard your uncle was illEN MAUVAISE SANTÉ. Is he still asking for strange things?”
Priya: “Yes. Yesterday he called his accountant and said, ‘How much is itQUEL EST LE PRIX for the express accounting diploma?’”
Ahmed: “But why? He knows deathLA FIN DE LA VIE is near.”
Priya: “When the accountant brought the billFACTURE POUR SERVICES, my uncle whispered, ‘One less accountantMOINS DE COMPTABLES DANS LE MONDE...’”
Uses past simple (“was”, “called”, “said”, “whispered”) and direct speech within quotes. Vocabulary items integrated naturally.
⚡ Quick Check
Five questions about the joke, vocabulary and reported speech.
1. Why does the old man insist on becoming a lawyer?
2. In “His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid,” whose bill is meant?
3. Which sentence correctly reports “That’s my business!”?
4. What does “racked with fits of coughing” suggest?
5. Which line best preserves the joke’s final meaning?
© — This blog collects and shares jokes passed along by word of mouth. I do not claim ownership of them. You are welcome to copy, share or tell them. Read our Privacy Policy. Also visit Poems Rethabile Likes.
Comments