Learn English With Jokes • Two Planets

Learn with a joke, then do a quick quiz.

Two Planets

Intermediate · Past Simple · Vocabulary Building

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Survolez ou tapez sur les mots en ambre pour voir les définitions en français.

During my check-upBILAN DE SANTÉ I asked the PhysicianMÉDECIN, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?" He replied, "I kind of doubt itJ'EN DOUTE UN PEU. You see, Mercury is in UranusMERCURE EST DANS URANUS (JEU DE MOTS : "URANUS" SONNE COMME "YOUR ANUS") right now." I said, "I don't go in forJE NE M'INTÉRESSE PAS À any of that astrologyASTROLOGIE nonsense." He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometerTHERMOMÈTRE just broke."

📘 Key Vocabulary +

check-up

BILAN DE SANTÉ

physician

MÉDECIN

kind of doubt it

J'EN DOUTE UN PEU

Mercury is in Uranus

JEU DE MOTS : MERCURE / URANUS

go in for

S'INTÉRESSER À

astrology

ASTROLOGIE

thermometer

THERMOMÈTRE

📖 Grammar Points +

1. Past simple for narrative events
The joke uses past simple: "asked", "replied", "said", "broke". These are completed actions that set up the story. In French, this corresponds to the passé composé or passé simple.

2. Future with "will" for predictions
"I'll live" uses "will" to make a prediction about the future. In French, this is "je vivrai" (futur simple).

3. Present simple for dialogue and general statements
The dialogue uses present simple: "do you think", "I kind of doubt", "you see", "I don't go in for". This makes the conversation feel immediate. The punchline uses present simple for the final reveal: "my thermometer just broke".

4. "Neither do I" for agreement with negative statements
"Neither do I" is the correct response to a negative statement. In French, this is "moi non plus". This is a common source of errors for learners, who sometimes say "me too" instead.

🔁 Synonyms & Alternatives +

check-up · examination | medical exam | physical

BILAN DE SANTÉ → also "examen médical"

physician · doctor | medical practitioner | GP

MÉDECIN → also "docteur"

go in for · be into | be interested in | enjoy

S'INTÉRESSER À → also "aimer"

nonsense · rubbish | garbage | foolishness

BÊTISES → also "absurdités"

These alternatives fit the conversational tone: “medical exam”, “doctor”, “I'm not into”, “rubbish”.

💬 Mini Dialogue +

Context: Two friends, Thabo and Lerato, are sharing jokes during a break.

Thabo: "I heard a funny one about a doctor's check-upBILAN DE SANTÉ."
Lerato: "What happens?"
Thabo: "The patient asks if he'll live a long life. The doctor says he doubts it because Mercury is in UranusJEU DE MOTS."
Lerato: "So the doctor believes in astrologyASTROLOGIE?"
Thabo: "No! The patient says he doesn't believe in astrology, and the doctor replies: 'Neither do I. My thermometerTHERMOMÈTRE just broke!'"
Lerato: "So Mercury from the thermometer is literally in his... oh no! That's terrible!"

Uses past simple for the narrative and present simple for the dialogue. Vocabulary items appear naturally.

⚡ Quick Check — 30 seconds

No marks. This is just to see if the words stuckPas de notes. Juste pour voir si les mots sont bien restés en mémoire.

1. In this joke, a “check-up” is…

a) a quick look at the stars
b) a medical examination to see if you are healthy
c) a meeting with an astrologer

2. “I don’t go in for astrology” means…

a) I am not interested in astrology
b) I always study the planets carefully
c) I go to astrology classes every week

3. The doctor says “Neither do I.” What is he agreeing with?

a) That the patient will live a long life
b) That Mercury is a real planet
c) That he also does not believe in astrology

4. Why is “Mercury is in Uranus” funny in this joke?

a) Because the doctor loves astronomy
b) Because the thermometer broke and mercury went into the patient’s bottom (Uranus sounds like “your anus”)
c) Because Mercury and Uranus are the patient’s favourite planets

5. Which verb forms are past simple in the joke?

a) asked · replied · said · broke
b) think · doubt · go · see
c) live · healthy · nonsense · thermometer

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