š¯”¹ecause of his penchant for dubious women a man finds himself with a horrible case of syphilis. And it is getting worse by the day.
He finally decides to consult a doctor, who says to him: "Sir, in the state your tool is in, I'm afraid it will have to be cut."
The man leaves in a hurry and decides to get a second opinion. The second doctor tells him the same thing: "Your condition is too advanced, sir, and there's nothing else we can do but cut it off!"
Later that day he's at his favourite pub, drinking his worries away, when his best friend arrives and sits on the stool next to his. The friend immediately sees that something is wrong and says "What's wrong, man? You look like you're going to die."
"Well," the guy says, "I caught something awful from visiting prostitutes. I've already seen two doctors and they say my member has to be cut off."
"Listen", his friend says, "Why don't you try alternative medicine? Try acupuncture, for example."
He thanks his friend and the next day heads to China Town, where he consults an acupuncturist.
The acupuncturist tells him to drop his pants, examines the member for a while, then looks up at the patient: "How many doctors said you needed to have your penis cut?"
"Two of them, doctor," the patient says.
"Well, they're wrong," the acupuncturist says.
"Really?" the man says with a grin of relief on his face. "I don't have to have it cut?"
"Of course not," the doctor says. "In about two days it'll wither and fall off by itself."
There's another [short] joke about getting a doctor's opinion:
› Doctor: "I'm afraid you have breast cancer."
› Patient: "Breast cancer! I want a second opinion!"
› Doctor: "You're also very ugly."
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He finally decides to consult a doctor, who says to him: "Sir, in the state your tool is in, I'm afraid it will have to be cut."
The man leaves in a hurry and decides to get a second opinion. The second doctor tells him the same thing: "Your condition is too advanced, sir, and there's nothing else we can do but cut it off!"
Later that day he's at his favourite pub, drinking his worries away, when his best friend arrives and sits on the stool next to his. The friend immediately sees that something is wrong and says "What's wrong, man? You look like you're going to die."
"Well," the guy says, "I caught something awful from visiting prostitutes. I've already seen two doctors and they say my member has to be cut off."
"Listen", his friend says, "Why don't you try alternative medicine? Try acupuncture, for example."
He thanks his friend and the next day heads to China Town, where he consults an acupuncturist.
The acupuncturist tells him to drop his pants, examines the member for a while, then looks up at the patient: "How many doctors said you needed to have your penis cut?"
"Two of them, doctor," the patient says.
"Well, they're wrong," the acupuncturist says.
"Really?" the man says with a grin of relief on his face. "I don't have to have it cut?"
"Of course not," the doctor says. "In about two days it'll wither and fall off by itself."
There's another [short] joke about getting a doctor's opinion:
› Doctor: "I'm afraid you have breast cancer."
› Patient: "Breast cancer! I want a second opinion!"
› Doctor: "You're also very ugly."
| Example | Explanation |
|---|---|
| "It will have to be cut" | Immediate decision |
| "You look like you're going to die" | Planned, by the circumstances |
| "I'll get the phone" | Cannot have planned before |
| "I'm going to bed, now" | Decided before speaking |
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