drafting a will

𝔸 man hears from a doctor that his end is near so he heads over to his lawyer's office to draft a will.

The secretary watches as the man walks into the lawyer’s office, and sees him four minutes later walk away in a huff.

"Can I help you, sir?" asks the secretary, dashing after the obviously annoyed man.

"Help me?" the man says. "Help me? This guy's completely mad! I asked him to help me write a will and he says to me: 'sure, I just have a few questions and then you can leave it all to me.'

"They say lawyers are dishonest but this guy here takes the cake!"

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A will is of course 'un testament'. In English when we say 'Yes, I will', there is an idea of 'volonté' in there. This joke also uses the expression 'takes the cake'. Please watch George Carlin talking about this expression here. Of course the joke "drafting a will" depends on 'leave it all to me', which can also mean 'laisses ou lègues tout pour moi'.

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digging

Woman: Why are you crying?

Man: The elephant is dead.

Woman: Was he your pet?

Man: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.

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detective work

𝕊herlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and were soon asleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from it?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like our planet out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that someone has stolen our tent."

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"Holmes woke Watson up". This uses the phrasal verb "wake someone up". It's an adverbial phrasal verb, and that's why you can say "wake someone up" or "wake up someone". Both are possible. But you can't do that with prepositional verbs.

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day off

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"

The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"

The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."

The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."

The man starts to follow the woman and the boss says, "Where are you going?"

The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

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Upside down is also the title of a famous Diana Ross song. In the song she is so in love that the boy turns her upside-down.

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