𝕎oman: If we got engaged to be married, would you give me a ring?
Man: Yes, of course. If I knew your number.
Two birds were sitting in a tree as a jet plane passed overhead.
'Look at the speed of that bird!' said the younger bird.
And the older bird replied: 'if your tail was on fire, you'd go that fast, too.
Fish A: "How the hell did we end up in this aquarium?"
Fish B: "Well, if we had kept our mouths shut, we wouldn’t have been caught."
A woman woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from the bed. But in the quietness of the house she could hear sounds downstairs.
So she put on a robe, went downstairs, and looked around, but still couldn’t find her husband.
As she listened harder, she began to hear faint sounds of someone moaning. She went down into the basement and saw her husband crouched in a corner, sobbing into his hands.
"What’s wrong with you?" she asked.
"Remember when your dad caught us having sex when we were 16? Remember he told me I had two choices: either I married you, or I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
Baffled, she said "Yes, I remember that."
The husband looked at her, started sobbing again and said, "I would’ve got out today!"
There are four conditionals in English. And they are as follows:
› ZERO CONDITIONAL: Factual situations ↔ If you freeze water, it becomes ice.
› FIRST CONDITIONAL: Probable situations ↔ If I see her, I'll tell her.
› SECOND CONDITIONAL: Improbable situations ↔ If it snowed, we would go skiing.
› THIRD CONDITIONAL: Missed opportunity ↔ If they had told me, I would have helped them
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Man: Yes, of course. If I knew your number.
Two birds were sitting in a tree as a jet plane passed overhead.
'Look at the speed of that bird!' said the younger bird.
And the older bird replied: 'if your tail was on fire, you'd go that fast, too.
Fish A: "How the hell did we end up in this aquarium?"
Fish B: "Well, if we had kept our mouths shut, we wouldn’t have been caught."
A woman woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from the bed. But in the quietness of the house she could hear sounds downstairs.
So she put on a robe, went downstairs, and looked around, but still couldn’t find her husband.
As she listened harder, she began to hear faint sounds of someone moaning. She went down into the basement and saw her husband crouched in a corner, sobbing into his hands.
"What’s wrong with you?" she asked.
"Remember when your dad caught us having sex when we were 16? Remember he told me I had two choices: either I married you, or I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
Baffled, she said "Yes, I remember that."
The husband looked at her, started sobbing again and said, "I would’ve got out today!"
There are four conditionals in English. And they are as follows:
› ZERO CONDITIONAL: Factual situations ↔ If you freeze water, it becomes ice.
› FIRST CONDITIONAL: Probable situations ↔ If I see her, I'll tell her.
› SECOND CONDITIONAL: Improbable situations ↔ If it snowed, we would go skiing.
› THIRD CONDITIONAL: Missed opportunity ↔ If they had told me, I would have helped them
| Zero | 100% possible at all times | 😀 Factual |
|---|---|---|
| First | 50% possible in the future | 😊 Probable |
| Second | ≈ 5% possible in the future | 😯 Improbable |
| Third | 0% possible in the past | 😖 Lost occasion |
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| Third conditional [past possibility] |
