onion

𝕄y friend thinks he is smart. He told me that an onion is the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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No comment

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outlaws

𝕋he difference between in-laws and outlaws is that outlaws are wanted, dead or alive.

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Wanted is used in its two meanings here: the law wants to arrest a criminal, and a lover wants to see their sweetheart. The joke hinges on that.

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on the bus

𝔸 woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus-driver said, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"

The woman slammed her money down and went to sit at the back of the bus. The man next to her sensed that she wasn't happy and asked her what was wrong.

"That bus driver just insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

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She went to sit at the back of the bus. She didn't go to sit on or in the back of the bus. You might hear in the back, to me it means in the general area in the back of something like a bus or classroom. We use at with precise points, like when we say at the corner. They're one dimensional and are considered to be points. This gives us melatonin, the sleep hormone, or (mel)atonin, or (mel) + (at on in). That's how you can remember the usage, from small to medium to large. Consider:

Preposition	Example	Size	Range	Form
AT	At the back	Small ⥦ Precise	1 dimension	Point
ON	On the roof	Medium ⥦ Less precise	2 dimensions	Surface
IN	In the car	Large ⥦ Not precise	3 dimensions	Volume

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origin of species

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and that is how all mankind was made."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race descended."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they evolved from monkeys?"

The mother said, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

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As a matter of fact, we did not evolve from monkeys, but from apes or, to be even more precise, the great apes. Gorillas, chimpanzees, and others. And to precise even further, we're cousins with them and do not descend from them. We all had a common ancestor.

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