why don't you...?

𝔸 lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing. They just keep saying 'Hey, we’re horny... why don't you come have sex with us?"

"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots to my house tomorrow. I'll put them with my two male parrots... to whom I've taught prayer and bible study. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filth, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship the good Lord."

So the next day, the lady takes her two female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hey we're horny. Why don't you have sex with us?”

One of the male parrots looks at the other male parrot and whispers from the side of his beak, "Put the bible down, you idiot, our prayers have been answered!"

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"To keep doing something" means to do it regularly, or non-stop. And "whom" is the object of a verb, like "que" in French. Between "who" and "whom", the one you can replace with "he" in a sentence is "who," for example "He/who is John" or "I saw him/whom did you see". Let's make a table.

He | Him	Who | Whom	Example 1	Example 2
She's my neighbour	Who's your neighbour?	"She" is the subject	"Who" is the subject
I gave it to him	Whom did you give it to?	"I" is the subject	"You" is the subject
They told us yesterday	Who told you yesterday?	"Us" is not the subject	"You" is not the subject
I saw them	Whom did you see?	"Them" is not the subject	"Whom" is not the subject

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walk in the park

𝔹etty Williams worked in an office downtown. She usually went for a walk in the park during her lunch hour.

Almost every day she saw an old man who was always in the park sitting on the same bench. He had white hair and a long white beard, as well as a very contented expression. She sometimes nodded to him or said hello and he always smiled back very happily.

One day, she decided to stop and talk with him. "Excuse me," said Betty, "I often see you here. You always seem very cheerful and you’re never sick! What’s your secret for a long and happy life?"

"My secret?" the old man asked, smiling at her "I don’t have a secret."
"But how often do you exercise?" asked Betty.
"I never do any exercise, young lady."
"What about your diet? You must eat a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables?"
"I hardly ever eat vegetables," the old man replied, still smiling, "And I smoke almost a pack a day."
"That’s amazing, Sir!" said Betty. "How old are you?"
"Thirty five," he replied.

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This joke uses a lot of adverbs of frequency. Frequency adverbs tell us how often something happens or should happen. They can describe verbs and adjectives, but not other adverbs. They fall between never, or zero times, and always, or infinite. Here's how they relate to each other:

Never
Rarely
Seldom
Occasionally
Sometimes
Often
Generally
Usually
Always

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wages

𝔹en left work one Friday evening. But since it was payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the whole weekend partying with his pals and spending his entire wages.

When he finally went home, on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours about his behaviour.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?"

Ben said, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to be able to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

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We use "for" with fixed, unchangeable periods like two hours, or two or three days. We do not use "during" for such periods. Notice the F + F of For + Fixed period. To learn the differences between Since, during and for, visit this page.

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what the boss said

𝔸n employee is getting to know her new co-workers when the topic of her last job comes up.

"Why did you leave that job?" asked one co-worker.

"It was something my boss said," she replied.

"What did he say?" the co-worker asked.

"You're fired."

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You're fired! Here are a few other verbs used to express this unfortunate event: to dismiss, to axe, to sack, to terminate, to pink slip, to lay off, etc.

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wedding

At a wedding, a little boy looks at his mum and says, "Mummy, why does the bride wear white?"

His mother replies, "The bride is in white because she's very happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well, then why is the groom wearing black...?"

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A bride is the woman getting married, and a groom is the man getting married. The word groom is short for bridegroom.

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