genie

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he find himself back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says to the genie: 'I'm too lonely. I wish my friends were back here.'

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Very well-known joke

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grandfather

My grandfather died peacefully, in his sleep...

...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

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I don't know about you... but this simple joke just cracks me up

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good news & bad news 2

Doctor: "I've got some bad news and some good news for you."

Patient: "Give me the bad news first!"

Doctor: "You've got AIDS."

Patient: "Oh, no! That's awful! What's the good news, then?"

Doctor: "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."

Patient, looking relieved: "Oh...well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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Remember: "News" is singular. We say "some news" or "a piece of news". Never "the news are", always "the news is".

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good news & bad news

𝔸 man receives a phone call from his doctor. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

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When we use a verb for the third person singular in the simple present tense, we add an "s" to it. The third person singular is he/she/it. Remember also that "news" is singular, which means that "news are" is wrong English.

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