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Showing posts with label churchyard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label churchyard. Show all posts

Friday 10 April 2020

churchyard

𝔹en the post carrier is in love with a nun. He knows it's wrong to even think it, but he can't help himself. One particular day, as he boards a bus, Martha, the not-so-good-looking bus driver but his friend, asks him: "Why the long face, Ben?"

"I'm in love with Sister Margaret even though I know she can't even look at me. But I can't stop thinking about her," Ben moans. "I dream of making love to her".

Martha, the bus driver, thinks for a while and says to Ben, "I know how you can solve your problem."

"What do you mean?", Ben asks.

"Well," Martha the bus driver says, "everyone knows that on Tuesday nights at midnight Sister Margaret goes to the cemetery to pray. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Why don't you dress up as God and while she's praying, jump from behind a tombstone and say... 'I am God, and I want to make love to you!'"

Ben thinks it's a brilliant idea.

The next evening at 10 pm he's all dressed up as God and crouching behind a tombstone near the centre of the graveyard when, sure enough, at exactly midnight, Sister Margaret appears in the moonlight and starts praying.

Ben springs out in his heavenly costume and booms: I am God, and I want to make love to you". And they start making mad, passionate love.

While they're making love, Ben removes his mask and yells, "Aha! I am Ben, the post carrier!"

And the nun removes her mask and yells "Aha, I'm Martha, the bus driver!"


The term post carrier is recent. It is our attempt as humans to shy away from racism and misogyny. From post-man to post carrier, and from fireman to fire-fighter, to name but two. New words spring up every day, in all languages, in an attempt to rid our minds of latent or learned discrimination. Apart from watching our language, there are other practical steps to take, as is explained on this page. Here's a table to help us learn some of these "new" words.


Old word New word
Chairman Chairperson
Mailman or postman Mail carrier or Post carrier
Fireman Firefighter
Policeman Police officer
Salesman or saleswoman Salesperson
Steward or stewardess Flight attendant
Businessman or Businesswoman Executive
Marksman Sharpshooter
Housewife Homemaker
The man in the street The average person

Try this quiz


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