horse

𝔸 guy is walking in the countryside when he sees a sign that reads, "Talking Horse for Sale." Fascinated, he walks toward the stable to check it out.

"So, what have you done with your life?" the man asks the horse.

"I've led a full life," the horse replies miraculously. "I was born in The Andes where I herded for an entire village. Many years later I joined the New York City mounted police and helped keep that city clean. And now I just spend my days giving free rides to disadvantaged kids here in the country, away from the city."

The man is stunned. He asks the horse's owner, "Why in the world would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?"

The owner says, "Because he's a liar! He never did any of that!"

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Why in the world..., or why on earth..., are used to ask questions of surprise. For example: "Why on earth are you here?" They're both much more polite than the notorious "Why the hell... ." These can be used with all the WH-words like when, how, who, etc. Here's an example: "Who the hell are you?" [not polite!]

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holy cow!

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Bubba Gimble"

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No, no! I mean... male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes skunk."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Very hard to catch."

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"Holy cow!" is an exclamation of surprise that is used in the same way as "Holy mackerel!" Both expressions are used to show amazement on the part of the speaker. It is interesting that English uses the cow, even as French uses the "vache" as in "Oh, la vache!" A common expression in French that would be appropriate, apart from "Oh, la vache!" is "Ça alors!"

We use "Oh dear!" to express worry, sympathy, and/or concern. "Oh dear!" corresponds to the French "Oh là!" Here are some examples:

+ John: "I failed my final exams."
   Mary: "Oh dear! What are you gonna do?"

+ Nelson: "Holy mackerel! You won the match?"

Look at this dictionary entry: https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/holy-cow-mackerel-etc

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hunters

Two friends are out hunting in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back with only the whites showing. The hunter whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a very calm, comforting voice, says, "Just take it easy. Don't panic. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. The hunter comes back and the emergency operator hears him say into the phone: "OK, now what?"

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The forest or the woods... same difference.

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