ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A man joins a soccer football team and his new team-mates coéquipiers inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to tu devras give us a talk about sex.” The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie ne voulant pas mentir , but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, “Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting la voile .” His wife thought this a little peculiar un peu étrange but said nothing more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into elle est tombée sur one of his new team-mates at the supermarket and asked, “I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go? Comment ça s'est passé ? ” His mate sai...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. The boss didn't know what to do with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang sonnait . "You must answer the telephone," the boss told her several times. " Alright d'accord ," she replied répondit , "but it seems silly idiot | con to answer it. Nine times out of fois sur ten, it's for you!" Vocabulary rang: the past tense of “to ring” (meaning the telephone made a sound) silly: foolish, not sensible times out of ten: an expression meaning how frequently something happens The telephone rang sonnait all afternoon. It’s silly idiot | con to argue over something so small. Nine times out of fois sur ten, she’s right. Grammar The joke features modal verbs to give instructions, and direct speec...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping partir en camping . They pitched their tent ont monté leur tente under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime à un moment in the middle of the night, Holmes shook secoua Watson, woke him up le réveilla , and said, “Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you see.” Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes said, “Yes. And what do you deduce que déduis-tu from that?” Watson replied, “Well, if there are so many stars, and if even only a handful une poignée of them have planets, it’s quite likely probable there are some planets like Earth. And if there are a few planets like Earth...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A young lad enters a barber shop salon de coiffure and the barber whispers to his customer chuchote à son client , “This is the dumbest plus stupide kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill billet d’un dollar in one hand and two quarters pièces de vingt-cinq cents in the other, then calls the lad over and asks, “Which do you want, lad?” The lad takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young lad coming out of the ice cream parlour glacier . “ Hey, sonny Hé, fiston ! May I ask you Puis-je te demander a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of au lieu de the dollar bill?” The lad licked lécha his ice-cream cone and replied: “Because the da...