ESL JOKES

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment rendez-vous with a new dentist. I noticed her DMD diploma diplôme de dentiste on the wall, which displayed her full name. Suddenly I remembered a tall, sexy, dark-haired girl fille with the same name who’d been qui avait été in my high school lycée class some 30-odd years ago environ 30 ans plus tôt . Could this be the same gal fille I’d had a secret, burning crush coup de cœur on back then? When she came in, however cependant , I quickly discarded abandonnai any such thought. This grey-haired aux cheveux gris woman with sagging breasts seins qui tombent was far too old to have been my classmate camarade de classe . After she examined my teeth, I asked if she had attended fréquenté Maryvil...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A huge énorme , muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender le barman keeps staring le fixa du regard , because even though the man has a giant body, his head is only the size of an orange. The bartender gives him the beer and says, “I’m not trying to be weird bizarre , but your muscles are amazing impressionnants ! I just have to ask—why is your head so small?” The big man sighs soupira . He’s clearly heard this question many times. “One day,” he says, “I was out hunting je chassais and got lost in the woods la forêt . I heard someone crying for help. I followed the sound and found a frog une grenouille sitting by a stream ruisseau .” “No way,” says the ba...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A class of students is taking a difficult exam passe un examen difficile . The teacher says, “ Time’s up Le temps est écoulé . I want you to stop writing and hand in your tests.” All the students stop — except one guy gars ↔ type . He keeps on writing continue d’écrire . The teacher warns him le met en garde , “Stop now, or I won’t accept your paper!” But the student carries on writing for another ten minutes. Finally he stands up and walks to the teacher. The teacher says, “No. You finished late. I will not take your test.” The student looks at him and asks, “ Do you know who I am? Savez-vous qui je suis ? ” The teacher replies, “No, I don’t.” The student smiles sourit , walks over to the huge pile of tests pile d’examens ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other se jettent des regards . The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another une chose en entraîne une autre and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things are getting hot commencent à chauffer , the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands again. When she returns, they get back to it ils s’y remettent . Afterwards, she gets up once more and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back, the male doctor says, “ I bet je parie que you’re a surgeon une chirurgienn...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A bloke mec, gars walks into a convenience store une supérette, un magasin de proximité and picks up prend a single-serving portion individuelle drink, a single-serving ready meal, a single-serving toothpaste dentifrice , a single-serving dessert – basically a single-serving portion individuelle everything. When he gets to the till caisse with it all, the lady at the counter says, “Let me guess deviner , you’re single célibataire , aren’t you? The bloke replies, “Yeah, how'd you know comment le savez-vous ? ?” And she says, “Because you're ugly as fuck t’as une tronche de cul .” Vocabulary bloke: (British) a man, a guy, a chap convenience store: small local shop open long hours (supérette), corner shop ...

Learn English With Jokes Placez le pointeur de la souris sur les mots soulignés, sans cliquer. A man must drive CONDUIRE for several days to reach his new home. After a long and tiring FATIGANT journey throughout TOUT AU LONG DE the night, he decides to pull over SE GARER on the roadside to take a nap FAIRE UNE SIESTE . A man knocks on the car’s window, waking the driver. He asks what time it is. The driver checks his watch and replies, “It’s 8 AM,” then goes RETOURNE back to sleep. After a while AU BOUT D’UN MOMENT , another man knocks, again waking the driver, and asks the same question. The driver responds, “It’s 8:05 AM,” and returns to sleep. Sure enough COMME PRÉVU , another man soon knocks, asking the time. Now annoyed AGACÉ , the driver snaps, “It’s 8:07 AM.” He writes “I don’t know what time it is!” in bold letters LETTRES GRASSES on a paper, sticks it LE COLLE to the window, and goes back to sleep. ...